This is a list that's on various places on the internet and joke books, plus a few that I came up with.
-Of all indentical female twins separated at birth, one is a tomboy and the other is proper. They will start out as mortal enemies and become best friends.
-Of all identical male twins, one is good and the other is evil. They will start out as best of friends and become mortal enemies.
-All grocery bags have one loaf of French bread.
-Wallets and pockets have special technology that allows you to just pull out a wad of cash to hand to the cashier/cab driver and it will automatically be the right amount.
-When talking on the phone, it is not necessarry to say hello, goodbye, or even introduce yourself.
-Attractive women like Julia Roberts have an impossible time getting a date.
-Dogs know how to spot bad people and will automatically bark at them.
-Beds come with special "L" shaped sheets that go up to the waist on men and the armpits of the women.
-Hacking NORAD is easy; every child can do it.
-Laptops come with special software that enables them to effortlessly take down powerful supercomputers and advanced alien communication systems.
-Every key and clickable icon on computers make small beeps when pressed.
-All futuristic and government computers will use the same interface, involving blue, swirly mechanical looking things.
-Landing a plane requires no experience as long as someone experienced talks you down.
-All time bombs have large, red, LCD timer displays, in case any interested onlookers want to know when it will go off.
-Foreigners prefer to speak English when alone.
-To pass as german, you don't need to know German. A german accent will do.
-A city's most famous landmark can be seen from anywhere in that city.
-Police cheifs make sure that they pair each officer with their exact opposite.
-Broken laws, property damage, and disobeying orders are overlooked by the police as long as the bad guy gets caught.
-Enemy soldiers will always kill the guy who showed his war buddies a picture of his loved ones.
-Everyone knows everyone's and every business' phone number and can recall it instantly.
-What's going on in the minds of babies and animals? Nothing but movie quotes.
-Getting shot, stabbed, or beaten doesn't hurt that much. Getting your wounds cleaned by a pretty lady does. A man could be blindfolded, asked to to recite the Gettysburg Address, and be beaten, and he wouldn't miss a syllable. When the pretty lady touches a bruise/cut with a damp cloth, he will wince.
-Of all indentical female twins separated at birth, one is a tomboy and the other is proper. They will start out as mortal enemies and become best friends.
-Of all identical male twins, one is good and the other is evil. They will start out as best of friends and become mortal enemies.
-All grocery bags have one loaf of French bread.
-Wallets and pockets have special technology that allows you to just pull out a wad of cash to hand to the cashier/cab driver and it will automatically be the right amount.
-When talking on the phone, it is not necessarry to say hello, goodbye, or even introduce yourself.
-Attractive women like Julia Roberts have an impossible time getting a date.
-Dogs know how to spot bad people and will automatically bark at them.
-Beds come with special "L" shaped sheets that go up to the waist on men and the armpits of the women.
-Hacking NORAD is easy; every child can do it.
-Laptops come with special software that enables them to effortlessly take down powerful supercomputers and advanced alien communication systems.
-Every key and clickable icon on computers make small beeps when pressed.
-All futuristic and government computers will use the same interface, involving blue, swirly mechanical looking things.
-Landing a plane requires no experience as long as someone experienced talks you down.
-All time bombs have large, red, LCD timer displays, in case any interested onlookers want to know when it will go off.
-Foreigners prefer to speak English when alone.
-To pass as german, you don't need to know German. A german accent will do.
-A city's most famous landmark can be seen from anywhere in that city.
-Police cheifs make sure that they pair each officer with their exact opposite.
-Broken laws, property damage, and disobeying orders are overlooked by the police as long as the bad guy gets caught.
-Enemy soldiers will always kill the guy who showed his war buddies a picture of his loved ones.
-Everyone knows everyone's and every business' phone number and can recall it instantly.
-What's going on in the minds of babies and animals? Nothing but movie quotes.
-Getting shot, stabbed, or beaten doesn't hurt that much. Getting your wounds cleaned by a pretty lady does. A man could be blindfolded, asked to to recite the Gettysburg Address, and be beaten, and he wouldn't miss a syllable. When the pretty lady touches a bruise/cut with a damp cloth, he will wince.
