They invited themselves over

[Linnis]

So I get DS dressed, hoping to beat the rain to go for a walk. We both needed to get out of the house. As soon as we got out it started to drizzle again so I told him we'd walk to the mail box and back and check the mail.

We saw 3 kids playing with a toy wagon. None of them are wearing coats and it's 45 degrees. They start talking to me and Ethan wanted to play with the wagon too but he was not big enough to play with the big kids and the wagon. I tell the kids as much so they ask if they can come over to our house and play.

I said No and they asked why and I said because I don't know their parents and their parents and them don't know me. I suggested if they ever want to play with DS, they could bring mom, Dad or Grandma and knock on our door and we could go to the park together.

They didn't think their mom would mind. SO I told them not to go into anyone's house unless their parents meet them first.


Then one kid decided to tell me I sound like a mom...I'm like because I am.


Oh and why would kids 6+ years old want to play with an 18 month old?

 

[lucypevensie]

Other people's kids are funny huh? The neighbors 2 houses down have lots of company and everytime they have a big gathering the (company) kids come over to our house to play. They're nice kids for the most part, but we do have them stay outside. We're usually out there too doing something in the garage or lawn so we can supervise. I'd never allow my own kids to just go knock on some person's door adn ask to play with someone, anyone.

As far as the big age difference goes, it's my observation that kids mostly just like to play with other kids. It's when they turn teenager that age starts to factor in a lot more. Just today my 8 year old son was playing chase with a 2 year old girl and they were havign a blast. On the other hand my 10 year old daughter who has been practically best friends with her older-by-3-years cousin has been disappointed tht her teenage cousin doesn't pay as much attention to her as she used to. I'm expecting (hoping) that will improve with time

 

[mina]

They are children. It sounds like there is not much supervision at their house and they want attention. You don't have to invite them in or adopt them, but it won't hurt to be kind to them (i'm not saying you weren't kind). If they do become a nusaiance then go and talk to the parents.

 

[JulySheMustFly]

I think you handled it well. We had a neighbor girl who loved to come to our house, which was fine because she is only two years older than my oldest, but she was often more interested in our infant son at the time. She had no siblings and was fascinated in what he needed and how we cared for him.

 

[Neenie1]

Your question about older kids wanting to play with younger ones reminds me of one of the kids in my son's class (who is also 6, will be 7 this year) he loves my dd. I think the main reason he is like this with her, is that he doesn't have any siblings of his own, so he loves all the younger siblings of the kids in his class. It's no big deal. It's cute in a way.

 

[Linnis]

I guess I don't know how these parents would react if their kids were hanging out with me. I've had the experience before of parents assuming I'd take care of their kids since I was the only parent who went to the park. Even to the point a mother yelled at me for not stopping fights between the kids at the park...

What is an appropriate amount of contact with children around the neighborhood is I'm almost always the only adult? If they get hurt or something and I happen to be around will I once again be assumed to take care of other people's kids?

I guess it makes sense kids who don't have smaller siblings would like playing with younger kids.

 

[JulySheMustFly]

I've started going up to the child's parent and informing them that their child requested to play but that until I knew from the adult that it was ok I could not say "yes." I found most of the parents really didn't care that they didn't know me. Some of them didn't even know which house their child was playing at that day.

I had one mom who when her little girl would come over she would go to the store. I didn't agree to this. And the one day her daughter sat in our kitchen and cried because she didn't know where her mom went. That was it for me. I didn't mind the little girl coming in to play but it was not fair to the child to not know where her mother was.

 

[RedTulipMom]

Some times kids can be a bit intrusive, especially if their parents don't teach them otherwise.
Last week my dad and i had my 2 kids and my nefew and 2 neices at the park. There was a 7 yr old girl and her 6 yr old brother up at the park (without parents). This 7 yr old wanted to do everything our kids were doing. My niece would say "aunt karen could you push me on the swing?" and this lil girl would go over and start pushing her. Then the girl butted in and started pushing my 11 mos old daughter on the baby swing, which was ok until she started pushing her too high and i had to tell her 3 times to not push her so high. Then my dad was sitting on the grass with my 11 mos old and this girl just came up and picked up my daughter and put her on her lap. i wasnt real comfortable with it. Even my neices ASK me if they can hold anna! i really think its the parents that are at fault for not teaching proper manners to their kids.

 

[OrangeHope]

Ethan is very adorable but I would also find it really strange if 6 y/o's wanted to come over to play with a 18 month old, mostly if they don't know him...

 

[TexasSky]

I decided a lot of the difference in how children react, and how we react to children, is culture and background. Children who grew up in a family or neighborhood where everyone treated everyone like extended family can really terrify people who grew up in smaller families or less friendly neighborhoods.

I do agree that you should not invite a child into your home until you know the parents have okayed it. You could be setting yourself up for a lawsuit. I also had a parent who would "vanish" and I didn't fell comfortable leaving her child alone while I ran my own errands, or taking her child with me, so I told her mother, bluntly, "It is fine for Christy to come to my home, but don't leave unless you pick her up or make specific arrangements for her. I cannot abandon a child, and I am not your baby sitter. I have my own life and my own errands. If you want me to baby sit her, ask me first."

She apparently tried to whine to other mother's in the neighborhood because I got a lot of "thank yous" and "pats on the back" from other mothers who felt trapped raising her child.

I love children. I generally did not mind at all when they showed up at my house, but there are a lot parents in this world I am not so fond of.

 

[Laurie919]

Ethan is very adorable but I would also find it really strange if 6 y/o's wanted to come over to play with a 18 month old, mostly if they don't know him...

They just want to play and they don't care how old the other child is. We have a little boy that is 3 that will come knock on our door to see if Taylor can come outside to play. She always tells me to tell him she can't but when she is outside he follows her every where.

There are kids in our neighborhood that will come hang out with me when Taylor isn't home. Now that just blows my mind. They just want to come in and talk. I have one that will ask me if she can help me cook. Apparently she doesn't get that at home.

Taylor says that everyone thinks I am a great mom and they say they want their mom to be more like me. Hmmmmm!!!! I always have 5-10 kids at the house on weekends and 3 or 4 will spend the night.

When we go bike riding in the afternoons it is nothing for 7 or 8 of them to come with us. I have safety rules in place since some of them are only 5ish. Taylor will lead I will follow everyone, she knows when and where to stop for all of us to catch up. We have a nice bike trail to ride so we don't have to worry about cars.

 

[OrangeHope]

In a way I guess it doesn't matter how old they are, but there is a difference when a 3 y/o wants to play with a 10 y/o than a 10 y/o play with a 3 y/o. I remember younger children wanted to play with me. little kids always want to play with the big kids, makes them feel like big kids. thats why I find it weird those big kids wanted to play with Ethan in a house they never been in.