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There's a slip under every skirt.
- Thread starter Autumnleaf
- Start date
BrianAK
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- Jun 28, 2010
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When I attended AA, I often heard some of the folks that had been sober many years suggest not making any big changes in your first year of sobriety. Stay single, or don't end your current relationship. Try not to switch jobs. The reason given was that you are going to start going through a lot of changes, and your mind is going to start adjusting to sobriety. Your decision-making abilities may not be up to par for awhile.
In the meetings I attended, changing ones' relationship status was considered especially problematic. Both my inpatient and outpatient counselors agreed. They considered about a year to be the rough amount of time a newly-sober individual needed to really start getting grounded in sobriety. What's going to happen if your new relationship doesn't work out? Alcohol and drugs are wonderful heartache remedies. It takes awhile to learn new remedies, and it takes even longer for the new remedies to be the things you think of before you start thinking of using.
Maybe I spent too many words on that. It could also mean it's easy to do things for or with a woman that we would never do for ourselves. I know for a fact that when I tried to quit in 2003 I gave up the very first time my girlfriend mentioned getting high. Maybe, just maybe, had I been single it would have been a little easier to stick to it. At that point in my life though, I doubt it.
Hope this helps.
-B
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