There is no love in me - how can I be saved?

[pantingdeer]

A few months ago I decided to start trusting God and in the sacrifice of Jesus for my salvation.
By forgetting my doubts and feelings and just trusting God I felt some peace and believed I was really saved. I wanted to obey God and had ideas about how I would serve Him.

About 2 weeks ago I started listening to my feelings and doubts again and this spiralled into crippling doubt that made me so confused and made it feel like it was not even real anymore. I do not want to give up and want to hang on and so am trying my best to cling to God’s promises.

Today I found some comfort from John 3:14-15 where Jesus compared belief in Him to Moses and the bronze serpent - if only those dying looked up in faith at the bronze serpent then they would live. So in my head, I was thinking ‘I am trusting that Jesus died for me and He is the only way of salvation. I am going to trust Him to save me’ and so in light of the ‘look and live’ passage of Moses, this made me feel my amount of faith was enough for Jesus to save me.

However, later today I came across a few verses about love and that if I don’t love Jesus more than my family then I am not worthy of Him.
This has made me very scared because I don’t really love anyone. I don’t love my parents, I don’t love my siblings, I didn’t love my grandparents, I have no friends, I don’t love anything and I don’t think I love Jesus/God either.

Right now I am feeling very low and hopeless. If I do not love then how can I ever be saved? This has made me question everything and made me feel like I’m all alone and helpless.

Also some people try to use the ‘if you love me you will keep my commandments’ verse to encourage people like me HOWEVER, it does not say ‘if you keep my commandments, you love me’. There is a difference.
Also Jesus talked about the most important commandment to be:
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment”


I feel like I’m helplessly evil at heart. If I’m not saved then God won’t even hear my prayers for my heart to love.

 

[Sabertooth]

@pantingdeer, do you have (and attend) a home church that is feeding your spirit?
Your OP is typical for someone who is isolating himself.

 

[pantingdeer]

@pantingdeer, do you have (and attend) a home church that is feeding your spirit?
Your OP is typical for someone who is isolating himself.

I attend a good church. I was even recently baptised as I wanted to go by my faith I put in Jesus and ignore recent doubts that I thought were trying to hold me back. But the baptism has made me feel even worse and has put more pressure on me who was already struggling. People we happy for me whereas I felt like a fraud.

 

[Sabertooth]

Have you been to a New Believers' class?
Also, your pastor would be your first, best choice for this issue.

 

[pantingdeer]

Have you been to a New Believers' class?
Also, your pastor would be your first, best choice for this issue.

How can I tell all this after just being baptised? I knew I should have waited longer.

Baptism probably gave the church the illusion that I was in peace but inside I am struggling so badly. I feel so much pressure now and that I am a fraud

 

[Sabertooth]

How can I tell all this after just being baptised?

How can you tell all what...?

I knew I should have waited longer.

What should you have waited to do?

 

[pantingdeer]

How can you tell all what...?

What should you have waited to do?

1. How could I tell pastor just after being baptised that I feel like I don’t love anyone or God and that I’m struggling so badly.
2. That I should have waited to be baptised because I feel it has made me feel much pressure because everyone expects differently of me and thinks I’m saved when in fact I am in deep distress.

 

[Trusting in Him]

Trust God, tell him of your concerns and let Him sort it out for you! He is very experienced at sorting out His people and He will do it for you! Learning to love God takes time and building a relationship with God takes time too! You have made that first step, just keep on going!

 

[Sabertooth]

How could I tell pastor just after being baptised that I feel like I don’t love anyone or God and that I’m struggling so badly.

It is not unusual how you are feeling now. Your pastor should know this, and a New Believers' class should speak to many of your concerns.

That I should have waited to be baptised because I feel it has made me feel much pressure because everyone expects differently of me and thinks I’m saved when in fact I am in deep distress.

There IS a difference, even if you don't feel it, yet.

Also, do you have anxiety or OCD?
If you do, seek treatment from a psychiatrist for it.
Also, some churches handle mental illness better than others.

Here are some churches in your area,

• Vineyard,
• Assembly of God,
• Foursquare Church

(Links above are locators.)

 

[pantingdeer]

I just watched this video and now feel like I’m utterly helpless. I was desperate for God to save me but did not love Him. If God does not move my heart then my faith must not be saving faith.

 

[Sabertooth]

If God does not move my heart then my faith must not be saving faith.

You are jumping to (wrong) conclusions. That is why I asked about OCD.

 

[Trusting in Him]

As we go on with God, He gives us a new heart and also renews our minds. It so much easier to love God with a new heart!

 

[pantingdeer]

You are jumping to (wrong) conclusions. That is why I asked about OCD.

I don’t know but to me things like these are an excuse before God. God could heal us of these things if he desired.

 

[Sabertooth]

I don’t know but to me things like these are an excuse before God.

It sounds like you are trying to rely on your own strength to be Saved. Did Jesus' blood not wash your sins away?

God could heal us of these things if he desired.

You have to take aggressive steps to get free from OCD. It will keep accusing you until you do.

 

[Trusting in Him]

God looks upon the heart, He knows your desires towards Him. Just trust Him, let go and let God work on you from the inside. Being a Christian is not about what you may feel now. God is going to do amazing things on the inside.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
(Proverbs 3:5)

 

[pantingdeer]

God looks upon the heart, He knows your desires towards Him. Just trust Him, let go and let God work on you from the inside. Being a Christian is not about what you may feel now. God is going to do amazing things on the inside.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
(Proverbs 3:5)

But what if I don’t love God or Jesus right now? Is that not necessary for salvation?

 

[pantingdeer]

It sounds like you are trying to rely on your own strength to be Saved. Did Jesus' blood not wash your sins away?

You have to take aggressive steps to get free from OCD. It will keep accusing you until you do.

Could you explain a bit more please how I am relying on my own strength? I don’t know if Jesus has washed my sin away as right now I am feeling a lot of distress over the state of my salvation. John Piper basically says in that video that people like me aren’t saved because we don’t love or treasure God.

 

[Sabertooth]

But what if I don’t love God or Jesus right now? Is that not necessary for salvation?

Calling on Him is all that is necessary to begin your walk in Salvation. The rest will follow.

“...whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.” Romans 10:13 NKJV

He'll Take Care Of The Rest, Keith Green (1977)

 

[Sabertooth]

Could you explain a bit more please how I am relying on my own strength?

Yes, I can, but not enough to compete with your greater trust of OCD's lies.
It is like you want those things to be true. No one can compete with them if you would insist on embracing them.

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,
and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

 

[Trusting in Him]

Could you explain a bit more please how I am relying on my own strength? I don’t know if Jesus has washed my sin away as right now I am feeling a lot of distress over the state of my salvation. John Piper basically says in that video that people like me aren’t saved because we don’t love or treasure God.

It won't help you listening to John Piper! Just trust God and believe in Him as best as you are able.