The worst thing is the loneliness

[Million Pieces]

I don't have much of a social life, and whatever little I do have is here online. My self image is in the tank, and I don't even have anyone here in my city to phone and unload on. Even the ones I would call long-distance are out of contact tonight. Don't even mention talking to my hubby, he's the biggest problem. He's sitting here with his cell phone buzzing every other minute with text messages from his friends, both locally AND distance. He has friends all over the world that he gets counsel from, and can unload on and gain support from at a moment's notice. And I can't think of a single person at this moment that I can pick up a phone and call without feeling like I'd be interrupting somehow.



The worst feeling is the utter crushing loneliness. I'm left alone with confusion that I just can't see my way out of.

 

[GQ Chris]

This just blows my mind, your spouse is someone you're supposed to be best friends with and be able to confide in.

 

[Million Pieces]

yeah I know. it's the deepest hurt when that's not there.

 

[Ariel]

Million Pieces (((hug))) I am so sorry.

I know this: God is with you. You can go to Him, you can crawl up into His lap. You can ask Him to hug you through the night. He is with you.

Cry out to Him, He is there. He says, "Come to Me."

 

[lifeknowingjesus]

Dear Million Pieces

The answer to this problem is Jesus.

Jesus' love is what you were created for. "God created you to have a relationship with Him so you could enjoy His love." David Gregory, Dinner With A Perfect Stranger. God made you because of his love and in order to express his love to you. You were created for intimacy with God. "God wants you with him. It's why he made you in the first place." "He wants you to spend all eternity with him in heaven."~Billy Graham

What He is after is *you*--your laughter, your tears, your dreams, your fears, your heart of hearts. He wants *you*. And he has moved heaven and earth to get you." ~The Sacred Romance, by Brent Curtis and
John Eldredge

You are his creation, his masterpiece. You are cherished. You are special. You are desired. You have worth. You are important. You matter. You were worth an excrutiating death. You are sought after. Nothing can separate you from His love. He says so.


Jesus is what ends your loneliness. "There is an answer for your loneliness and that is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ."~Billy Graham Consider what he said in answer to a letter someone wrote him, who was lonely:

"...I believe God has a special concern for those who are lonely. After all, He knows what loneliness is, for no one was ever lonelier than His Son on the cross. Not only had all His disciples fled when He was arrested, but all Satan's forces were arrayed against Him.

"Most of all, as the Bible says, He endured the greatest loneliness of all by being separated from God. This happened because He was bearing our sins. No cry of loneliness was ever greater than those words of Jesus from the cross: 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?' (Matthew 27:46). He did it for one reason: He loves us.

"The most important truth you will ever discover is that God loves you. He loves you so much that He wants you to spend eternity with Him in heaven. Turn to Him today, and by faith ask Christ to come into your life. When we know Christ we are never alone. He is with us, and so are our fellow Christians. May God bless you."

The King of Kings desires to be with you for all time. And if you invite him into your life, he promises to always be with you. "I will never leave you nor forsake you."~Hebrews 13:5 You can talk to him at any time.

"If you feel alone and desolate, Jesus understands. His nearness can bring you comfort, change and clarity."~His Nearness In My Loneliness, by by Anne Graham Lotz

"You can have a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Jesus Christ can make life joyful, satisfying and glorious to you. ...But you must repent, surrender and commit your heart and life to Christ. Let Him forgive your past sins, and He will take you into His family; He will bring you to the hearth, and you will feel the warmth of the fire. If you are lonely today, I beg you, come to Christ and know the fellowship that He brings.

..."Some time ago we received a letter from a radio listener who for five years had been crippled into a sitting position by arthritis. For five painful years she was unable to stretch out or to lie down, yet she wrote, 'I have spent many a day alone, but never a lonely day.' Why? It was Christ who made the difference. With Christ as your Savior and constant Companion, you, too—although alone—need never be lonely."~The Answer To Loneliness, by Billy Graham

To listen to a media clip of Billy Graham on loneliness, go to bgea dot com and type in "Never Be Lonely Again" in the search box at the top of the page. "Billy Graham points to the real answer to loneliness." For another thing on lonliness by Billy Graham, go to bgea dot com and type in "The Answer To Loneliness" in the search box.


Jesus is what gives you hope and eternal life. If you have received Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, you can look forward to your everlasting home in Heaven with Jesus, where "he'll wipe every tear from [your] eyes. Death is gone for good - tears gone, crying gone, pain gone - all the first order of things gone."~Revelation 21:4 You will live forever with Jesus.


If you don't know Jesus. Jesus is what will fill your emptiness.

"Don't turn your back on His love, but by a simple prayer of faith commit your life to Christ today."
~Billy Graham

For the steps to peace with God, go to Billy Graham's "Steps To Peace" by going to billygraham dot org slash SH underline StepsToPeace dot asp--or going to the billygraham dot org-->"How To Know Jesus" on the main page.



(For more on finding meaning and purpose in your life, contentment in whatever circumstances, true happiness, peace, and joy, hope, and abounding comfort during pain...PM me and I will give you the link to something I wrote).


Love,
Amy

 

[Jpark]

Hi

I know a wonderful place where you can find a friend

Josh. 1:5 I will not leave you nor forsake you is God's gurantee of success because of His presence and help.

 

[Maranatha27]

I think I know how you feel, my low self-esteem has driven me into partial isolation. I suffer from pride and low self-esteem which is a terrible combination. The only relief I find is in Jesus Christ. He enables me to love people and not to think evil of those around me. When I'm mistreated I repay good for evil pouring hot coals upon their head. That must be done through the Holy Spirit and not the flesh. 1 good christian friend is sufficient, The love and friendship that can be produced in that relationship is without measure, supernatural my i say . When im in the flesh I hate people and am easily offended, when Im in the Spirit humility is in order, difficult to offend. Think our Lord Jesus Christ was dominated by the Spirit, the ripped off his beard, spit in his face scorged him, then they nailed him to a tree, and his response was "forgive them....". The days are getting darker, the world has no hope, but for us it is altogether different.

Come quickly Lord Jesus

 

[Spirithappy]

I know how you feel and I am sorry for your situation. But there is a bigger problem that you may have and that may be your marriage. Your marriage sounds bad, God may be alerting you to a marriage that is not right. A good friend of mine just went through this and the busy cellphone of her husband was for a reason you can imagine,I am not suggesting that this is the case with you but your marriage seems lacking.Do not down play the people who speak to you on this site, they ARE your friends. God even provided this site for your help out of his love. Online or in person a friend is a friend and you have friends here.

 

[Million Pieces]

Oh I am WELL aware my marriage isn't right! LOL my marriage is dead for a reason too. He had 5 affairs in 7 years. At least two of them at the same time.

I am finding more and more friends I have let fell aside by my own selfishness. I have isolated myself from the people who wanted nothing more than to give me love and help. I'm getting back with those people now, and giving their love back to them.

It's been hardest lately because I often don't even feel God's presence some days. I still reach out and call out to Him, but I'm missing that close Spirit presence I thought I once had.

 

[Spirithappy]

It is not unusual to have the feeling of abandonment by God. Jonah felt abandoned in the whales belly. Job felt abandoned by God and so did my sister and myself at times. What I have learned is that God purposely abandons us, he does it for our growth. I have heard of so many Christians say I use to feel his spirit but know I don't. He actually is right there and purposely not answering. God does this at times sometimes for short times some times for long times. King David wrote" God ,I call and you do not answer ,help me for I go down in the pit. I know something that will help you. read Psalms starting from Psalm 1, only read 1 a day, you will be encouraged.

 

[FaithfulWife]

MP~

I have two things to tell ya:

#1--You can call ME girl! I BTDT and got a tee-shirt! I think it's even a C&C California designer tee that Jennifer Aniston wears I won the DE-LUXE tee! (rolleyes). My ex was 13 in 15 so you KNOW I understand! PM me for my number and you can call anytime 24/7. I work from home and I'm a night owl so you might be covered and if nothing else I would understand.

#2--I never really spent time looking at your profile before and I did today. You want to know what struck me about it? Oh the colors are nice and you've got nice visitor message (heehee) but what hit me in the face was how beautiful you are! No I'm serious! I know you from here on CF but I just never noticed that before and I LOVE your profile pic! You look relaxed and fairly happy and I was just floored by it because a lot comes through on your face and in your smile.

MP, I can completely understand how you'd feel pretty unwanted and undesirable right now--especially with 5 in 7--but I can say with complete confidence that its not you. I mean look at you! In the middle of the most dire crisis of your life you are thoughtful, considerate, compassionate and even funny (in a sort of British kind of way ). Heehee. You are physically lovely and have great eyes and smile. You are open and honest. See, MP, you're not blameless, but it's also not you that's lacking in beauty here. Inside and out you are an amazing woman and wonderful friend.

And you know all the folks you sort of "put by the wayside" at the end here? You had deep, hard, important, personal things to deal with and someone who is your true friend will wait while you sort through that cuz you're worth it. Oh you may need to apologize because that's the personal responsibility thing to do...but trust me those who care about ya will still be there!

 

[BlessedGraceAlways]

My heart goes out to you beloved. I know that lonliness, I am dealing with something similar today. I am here anytime you want to talk. I am praying for you. God is there with you. Sometimes He is silent, but never leaves you alone.

 

[acab62]

dont worry be happy

 

[UnitynLove]

dont worry be happy

LOL! I want to listen to the song now.

 

[nightfire_blue]

Can I ask a personal question? Feel free to disregard.

Why are you still with your husband? (This is relevant to what I would say next)

 

[Jo1]

BIG HUGS for you. Yes I understand how you feel. I fight the battle with loneliness.
Here anytime if u want to talk. God bless u. Praying for you.

 

[Million Pieces]

Nightfire, I'm still with him because in my heart of hearts, I do still love him. Because God has done something in him that I can't explain or describe. He has completely turned around and recanted his entire former lifestyle. He ha shown me more love in the past month then in the entire year before it. Because I have my husband back.

Because I am commanded in Scripture to forgive.

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
(Matt. 6:14-15)

And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses." [Some manuscripts add verse 26: But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your trespasses] (Mk. 11:25)

Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' you must forgive him." (Lk. 17:3-4)

Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. (Mt. 18:21-22)

Because Christ died for even THOSE sins. All of them. Who am I to stand here and say that's not sufficient, and that now he has to pay ME my pound of flesh? What can I ask for that is greater than the life of the Son of God?

There may still be lies, there may still be mistrust but I have to make that commitment. I CAN do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

 

[nightfire_blue]

I'm glad God is transforming your husband :]

 

[gibs0n]

i don't know about god transforming your husband. i would be very wary of that. god's not out to change who we are. we decide who we are, and it's up for your husband to decide who he is.

forgiving him is a great thing, because it eases your mind, but letting it continue is a whole 'nother story. ... don't let it continue. leave him if you have to. even if you don't leave him you need to let him know that you're willing and capable of doing something like that if you needed to or wanted to. also, if you don't feel that's something that you're willing or capable of, then you need to get yourself to that point.

i can totally relate to you though, not your exact situation, but i do understand what you're going through.

as far as your feelings about how you feel that you don't have people to reach out to, and that nobody cares, you feel like you're interrupting, etc. .. i can totally relate, because i have those exact same feelings.

what i've come to realize about those feelings in myself is that a lot of that is from things like what you've said about drifting away from people. it just happens and we don't keep as good of a control over our social networks as we should, and sometimes things just fall apart.

regardless of that, all those people do care, and there's many more out there who want to care if you're willing to care for them. additionally, there are lots of other people on this forum and elsewhere who always willing to help listen or lend an ear.

as far as yourself, the best thing you can possibly do is to work at bettering yourself. do things that will make you feel better about yourself in the long run, excersize, read a good book, organize something that is disorganized. while these are somewhat like chores, the benefit you gain from them in the long run will just continually increase your self-esteem, and you get to take the results of these activites wherever you go.

Anyway, I'm glad things are working out with your husband right now, but don't let him get comfortable in his old habits, and make sure you're spending some time focusing on yourself.

-love-

 

[Live In Stereo]

I think I know how you feel, my low self-esteem has driven me into partial isolation. I suffer from pride and low self-esteem which is a terrible combination. The only relief I find is in Jesus Christ. He enables me to love people and not to think evil of those around me. When I'm mistreated I repay good for evil pouring hot coals upon their head. That must be done through the Holy Spirit and not the flesh. 1 good christian friend is sufficient, The love and friendship that can be produced in that relationship is without measure, supernatural my i say . When im in the flesh I hate people and am easily offended, when Im in the Spirit humility is in order, difficult to offend. Think our Lord Jesus Christ was dominated by the Spirit, the ripped off his beard, spit in his face scorged him, then they nailed him to a tree, and his response was "forgive them....". The days are getting darker, the world has no hope, but for us it is altogether different.

Come quickly Lord Jesus

This was really helpful to me today. I know you posted it a few months back, but I thought I would let you know.