The Worst Crime

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

I've written a poem to shed sme light on my own divorce process, so I hope you guys recieve from this, peace.



The Worst Crime
_________________

I will tell you about how it is,
About the most foul of murders.
And it is not what you think,
It is not that at all.

The worst crime imaginable
Is haste and certainty.
Haste is not about speed, and certainty is not about being sure.
No, no, no. Not at all!

The worst crime is not the adultery,
Nor is it being excluded or abandoned with 4 children.
No. The worst crime happened years ago,
When 2 people were certain and hastily said so.

I fell in love with my friend
And she thought friendship was love.
Unequally matched,
We became certain that an end to loneliness, loss and hurt
Was in one another as lovers.

At first this was enough.
I had plenty to give and she had plenty to learn,
I needed to change and she needed to return.
So we continued, freindship to familiarity to dependency,
I poured my love, and was recieved.

But as the years and family grew,
We knew we were not sure at all.
And still we tried,
I to give, her to appreciate,
I to recieve, her to reciprocate.

But the balance was tipped,
I gave and gave so much,
It became clear,
She could not give as she wanted,
As she needed, as any lover should;
Naturally and happily and completely.

So I continued, burning for her,
Desperate to feel what just was not there.
I was burning out.
My mind was dieing, my love even for my children was fading,
And she was further now, wrapped in guilt and impotency, so
She did what only she could,
She did the only thing she could,
She gave as she wanted,
As she needed, as any lover should;
Naturally and happily and completely
To another.

She destroyed me and so many around us,
But this was not the worst crime imaginable.
That happened years ago
When we were married.

But even the crime of an unequal partnership,
Where I was never loved,
Birthed 4 beautiful people
Who love me as I have always needed,
As she never could.
Do I regret marrying a friend? No.
Our marrage was not to be a life-sentence;
The worst crime imaginable
Would have been to
Hastily remain certain
Of something that would have killed us all,
Despite how it looked to everyone else.

So, I will tell you about how it is,
About the most foul of murders.
And it is not what you think,
It is not that at all.

The worst crime imaginable
Hasn't happened,
Thanks to her.

Thanks to adultery - being excluded and abandoned,
I have uncovered who I was hiding,
For the sake of a marrage remaining.
And I am free and freer and freeing
And the children are growing
Again.

So, honestly, I hope that she
Will find her freedom truly,
Wherever she needs it to be.
In the loss and uncertainty,
In the stillness and resolve
Of a marrage ended.

 

[c1ners]

Thanks for sharing.

 

[Gimpy]

Beautifully stated. I am glad you are able to move on with your head up.
God Bless you

 

[psalms66]

wow... that's deep.

could not have put it so well had I tried.

 

[mimi4him]

I think u got into my head and pulled up all the 27yrs of my marriage . I now have the answers that my dear stbx cant seem to get out so that I can find true closeure. Of course he never was much on communicating and then in the end when he did he was more hurtful than anything.

thanks for your poem .
blessings

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Aw shucks guys and girls, thank you.

It helped me to close an epoch too!