The transition of moving

I recently moved from my beloved hometown, Pittsburgh, to Maryland after getting married. While it was initially easy, I have recently found it to be difficult and I have such a deep longing to be back home.

I miss my family/friends, watching all the Steelers games, the scenery, and the familiarity of my neighborhood. It's so tough to want to be here when I just want to be home (which I still want to call Pittsburgh).

For those who have moved, how did you get through it? I have been through moves through the years but because I know this is permanent, it makes it harder to get through.

I have been looking for a job, trying to stay busy, and connecting with people (trying to find a church) but I just want to fast forward to the time when I call this place home!

Encouragement and advice appreciated

What I have found to work for me is to think of your new town as your home and stop talking about where you used to live as your home. I also found that exploring your new town as much as possible can make a big difference. Really get to know the roads, the local restaurants and shops, the parks, the fun places to hang out, and so on. It also helped me to not travel back to my old town for several months.

whatisyourstory said:

What I have found to work for me is to think of your new town as your home and stop talking about where you used to live as your home. I also found that exploring your new town as much as possible can make a big difference. Really get to know the roads, the local restaurants and shops, the parks, the fun places to hang out, and so on. It also helped me to not travel back to my old town for several months.

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Thanks for the advice. I have been doing this but its still really hard because Pittsburgh is really the better city so I am constantly comparing the two. i have been going out and trying my best to know the area. I know I will have to just accept it but right now its just hard!

Hopefully when you find a church / job you'll also find new friends and people you can connect with.

Thankfully I've never had to move far from home (I can only imagine how hard it would be if I had too). When we got married my wife just moved in with me and even though her hometown isn't far away at all (30 - 40 min drive) ... she still makes comments like "I don't know anyone here" ... etc.

So I'm sure it's extremely hard on you. Just keep praying and trusting God. If you put God first in your marriage I don't believe He'll send you somewhere you'll be miserable at.

I have moved rather frequently, since my dad was in the Navy - and then I moved overseas long after he retired - once I married my husband, here to Germany.

I find if you make your house a home, that helps in the transition. Making friends, having hobbies & other things to do around the town helps, as well as making other connections be it with work, or church..

Definitely keep in touch with old friends and with family, but you will find that after about a year or so, you find yourself getting more comfortable with your surroundings and not longing so very much for "Home".

We have no congregation here, and only a few friends we are in contact with a couple times a month - so it can get lonely. However, I have a lot on my plate, so it is hard to get really homesick anymore. This is home. I went 'home' - and it was vastly different, not so friendly, and a lot less options as far as food/going out and such as there were before.

While it was nice to reconnect with family and a few friends, it was even more difficult than here... and I was glad to get back.

You kind of have to stop the comparisons, which I know is hard - but that really does assist one in becoming more "at home" with their surroundings.

The longest I've lived somewhere was my last place in AL, 8 years... the second longest was 6 years in the same city/state, but we moved 3 times while I was there... and I was really little. . . so 'home' for us - was more my grandparent's than anywhere else.

I grew up in Los Angeles, and after my wife and I got together I moved to Florida.

In a lot of respects - I had it somewhat easy. I'm self employed - and had clients back home that would fly me back and forth at least once a month. Consequently I was able to keep in touch with my family and friends - and still see them from time to time.

My wife's family is all in Florida - so I used them (and a lot of her old friends) as a launching board to meet new people. At first it was kind of weird - kind of like if you transitioned from one school to another as a kid. It's strange as an adult to suddenly start anew - with no real deep connections to anyone.

As time goes on (and it will take a while) - you'll start to develop new meaningful relationships.

Years later - I no longer work with those clients - and my family dynamic has changed a lot (folks passed away over the past couple of years)...so it's actually to a point now where I don't really want to go back "home". I've grown to dislike LA as time has progressed. That probably won't happen with you - but it's simply there to illustrate that perspective and life change.

Besides - how far away is it? lol I drove up to see a buddy of mine in NY a few weeks ago...and it seemed to me that Maryland through Pennsylvania wasn't that bad of a drive! Virginia - that was a treck... but Maryland and Pennsylvania were pretty quick!

...and who knows - you might end up a Ravens fan.

j/k

EZoolander said:

I grew up in Los Angeles, and after my wife and I got together I moved to Florida.

In a lot of respects - I had it somewhat easy. I'm self employed - and had clients back home that would fly me back and forth at least once a month. Consequently I was able to keep in touch with my family and friends - and still see them from time to time.

My wife's family is all in Florida - so I used them (and a lot of her old friends) as a launching board to meet new people. At first it was kind of weird - kind of like if you transitioned from one school to another as a kid. It's strange as an adult to suddenly start anew - with no real deep connections to anyone.

As time goes on (and it will take a while) - you'll start to develop new meaningful relationships.

Years later - I no longer work with those clients - and my family dynamic has changed a lot (folks passed away over the past couple of years)...so it's actually to a point now where I don't really want to go back "home". I've grown to dislike LA as time has progressed. That probably won't happen with you - but it's simply there to illustrate that perspective and life change.

Besides - how far away is it? lol I drove up to see a buddy of mine in NY a few weeks ago...and it seemed to me that Maryland through Pennsylvania wasn't that bad of a drive! Virginia - that was a treck... but Maryland and Pennsylvania were pretty quick!

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I am about 4 1/2 hours from Pittsburgh so it isn't too bad. I may even drive up there to catch a steelers game!

I will never convert to a Raven's fan...black and gold for life.

lol - being from LA - I grew up a Rams fan.

Fat lot of good that's done me lately.