The spectre of the patriarchy

[Michie]

The “spectre of the patriarchy” is the theme of an editorial in the daily newspaper Il Messaggero by the sociologist Luca Ricolfi, published on 24 November. Ricolfi writes:

“Anyone who denies the existence of the patriarchy is looked at with astonished reproach, as if he had dared to deny the Holocaust. The reason is simple: we have been so bombarded with the thesis that violence against women depends on the survival of the patriarchy that, for many, denying the patriarchy sounds like denying violence against women. And yet, if we leave aside for a moment the ideological ardour of believers in the patriarchy, and allow ourselves the minimum amount of lucidity, we cannot fail to see the excellent reasons of the deniers. Which are many and very solid. The most important is that, apart from some specific enclaves … in Western societies the distinctive traits of patriarchal societies have almost entirely disappeared: the despotic power of the head of the family, arranged marriage, the submission of children (including male children) to parental authority, more generally the primacy of duties over rights in almost every field of social life (work, family, war). The process has lasted for centuries, but it has had two fundamental impulses: the rise of love marriage between the 1700s and 1800s, in the Romantic era, and the libertarian and anti-authoritarian revolutions of students and women in the 1960s and 70s. One fundamental aspect of these processes is the evaporation of the figure of the father, and more generally of any authority, promptly proclaimed by Alexander Mitscherlich with his book Society Without the Father (Harcourt, Brace & World 1969), published in German in 1963. On this, there are very few doubts among sociologists, social psychologists and psychoanalysts.”

At this point, Prof Ricolfi poses an obvious question: how can one speak of a patriarchal society when the figure of the father has disappeared not only from the family but from society more generally? The answer is this:

Continued below.

The spectre of the patriarchy - Voice of the Family

The “spectre of the patriarchy” is the theme of an editorial in the daily newspaper Il Messaggero by the sociologist Luca Ricolfi, published on 24

voiceofthefamily.com

 

[Chrystal-J]

In many cases, men have abdicated their role in the family to the woman. (It's easier to be the "good guy".) In some instances, they walk away completely. I often wonder where all the men go in these 'single mother' families.

 

[Wolseley]

In many cases, men have abdicated their role in the family to the woman. (It's easier to be the "good guy".) In some instances, they walk away completely. I often wonder where all the men go in these 'single mother' families.

Where do they go? Easy. They go away. They have been, in many cases, psychologically brutalized, emotionally traumatized, and economically punished to the point where a lot of them have simply said, "To hell with it. I'm not even going to try anymore; I'm done." And they just unplug from the society that has slapped them upside the head one too many times. They get a job that pays them just enough to support themselves, have a few male friends to have a beer with or go fishing occasionally, work on their interests and hobbies, and refuse to have anything to do with women---because they view women as dangerous. All it takes is one false accusation of sexual harassment, and some poor schlub who did nothing more than smile at a woman and say, "Good morning" is suddenly a pariah, doomed to wander the earth bearing the mark of Cain.

Men have been told by 3rd-wave feminists that "No means no", and much to the uneasy surprise of many women, they have taken the message to heart. It's much easier to avoid contact with a woman batting her eyelashes at you from across the room and remain safe than it is to approach her and have your entire life ruined for something you did not do, nor did you ever intend to do. So women rage about how men who approach them are creeps and stalkers---and the men who don't approach them are cowardly mama's boys who aren't mature enough to handle male responsibility. Then those same women go into huddles with their girlfriends and lament and sob about how they can't find any men who want them.

Try reading through a few of these pages. They are eye-opening, to say the least:

https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/comments/13m6cps

Have the majority of men given up on trying to date?

Answer (1 of 40): I'm 56. I gave up on wanting to get married when I was around 43. Around 45 I gave up wanting to date. Around 50 I gave up wanting to have sex (other than occasional masturbation). I completely gave up on women in regard to dating or sex. After giving up on women, I have more pe...

www.quora.com

Why men can't bring themselves to approach women anymore.

I think a healthy fear of women (respect) and consequences of wrong behavior towards women is necessary. One thing I’ve noticed is that men fear...

www.girlsaskguys.com

What are the reasons why men don't want to get married anymore?

Answer (1 of 162): Marriage has always been a materialistic scam but now marriage isn’t even worth it because of how bad modern women are. Modern women will expect the man to pay for everything and protect her meanwhile she refuses to cook, clean, take care of herself and slowly over time she wil...

www.quora.com

You can find hundreds of pages like this with a two-second Google search; and if you go to YouTube, you can view hundreds of videos, from both men and women, expressing their discontent with the societal situation at large right now. It's depressing and disheartening; but I suspect it's just another symptom of an extremely dysfunctional culture that's in the process of imploding. (shrug)

 

[Chrystal-J]

Where do they go? Easy. They go away. They have been, in many cases, psychologically brutalized, emotionally traumatized, and economically punished to the point where a lot of them have simply said, "To hell with it. I'm not even going to try anymore; I'm done." And they just unplug from the society that has slapped them upside the head one too many times. They get a job that pays them just enough to support themselves, have a few male friends to have a beer with or go fishing occasionally, work on their interests and hobbies, and refuse to have anything to do with women---because they view women as dangerous. All it takes is one false accusation of sexual harassment, and some poor schlub who did nothing more than smile at a woman and say, "Good morning" is suddenly a pariah, doomed to wander the earth bearing the mark of Cain.

Men have been told by 3rd-wave feminists that "No means no", and much to the uneasy surprise of many women, they have taken the message to heart. It's much easier to avoid contact with a woman batting her eyelashes at you from across the room and remain safe than it is to approach her and have your entire life ruined for something you did not do, nor did you ever intend to do. So women rage about how men who approach them are creeps and stalkers---and the men who don't approach them are cowardly mama's boys who aren't mature enough to handle male responsibility. Then those same women go into huddles with their girlfriends and lament and sob about how they can't find any men who want them.

Try reading through a few of these pages. They are eye-opening, to say the least:

https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/comments/13m6cps

Have the majority of men given up on trying to date?

Answer (1 of 40): I'm 56. I gave up on wanting to get married when I was around 43. Around 45 I gave up wanting to date. Around 50 I gave up wanting to have sex (other than occasional masturbation). I completely gave up on women in regard to dating or sex. After giving up on women, I have more pe...

www.quora.com

Why men can't bring themselves to approach women anymore.

I think a healthy fear of women (respect) and consequences of wrong behavior towards women is necessary. One thing I’ve noticed is that men fear...

www.girlsaskguys.com

What are the reasons why men don't want to get married anymore?

Answer (1 of 162): Marriage has always been a materialistic scam but now marriage isn’t even worth it because of how bad modern women are. Modern women will expect the man to pay for everything and protect her meanwhile she refuses to cook, clean, take care of herself and slowly over time she wil...

www.quora.com

You can find hundreds of pages like this with a two-second Google search; and if you go to YouTube, you can view hundreds of videos, from both men and women, expressing their discontent with the societal situation at large right now. It's depressing and disheartening; but I suspect it's just another symptom of an extremely dysfunctional culture that's in the process of imploding. (shrug)

Looks like men marry based on a woman's attractiveness and women want a man with money. Maybe if they looked for a God fearing spouse who wasn't very pretty or rich, marriages would last.

 

[Wolseley]

Looks like men marry based on a woman's attractiveness and women want a man with money. Maybe if they looked for a God fearing spouse who wasn't very pretty or rich, marriages would last.

I quite agree. The culture didn't do us any favors when it made divorce so easy back in the 1970s. If people went into a marriage knowing that was really "until death do us part", there would be a lot more caution and time spent on who one was marrying.