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The Sin of Adultery

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RVincent

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(Exo 20:14) Thou shalt not commit adultery.

What is the law adultery? I will use the male gender as an example. It's when a man sleeps with someone other than his wife, or with the wife of another.

In other words, somebody has got to be married here.

(Mat 5:17-18) Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. {18} For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

The law is the subject here.

(Mat 5:27-28) Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: {28} But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

What is the law adultery? If you can remember, then what kind of woman are we talking about in Matt 5:28?

A married woman. In fact the word (Gr.) gune means "specially a wife". G1135.

Either the looker or the lookee must be married, or there is no adultery in the looking.

What does "to does lust" after mean? The word "to" is Gr. pros = toward. The guy is doing just a little more than looking.

But even if the married woman says "No", as far as God is concerned, you've committed adultery.

Today, it is commonly taught that it's a sin to look at a girl.

(Mat 23:4) For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers.

What a burden to place on a young man, who was created by God to have natural desires towards a girl, to tell him that it's a sin to look!

Now I should interject something else, there is a right way and a wrong way to do things. "Cat-calls" and "googling", or anything else that is obviously disrespectful, should be avoided.

Especially in these evil last days, when all a man has to do is look at a woman with his eyes crossed and WHAM! He's being sued for sexual harrasment.
 

mystc

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RVincent said:
Either the looker or the lookee must be married, or there is no adultery in the looking.

Go on, deceive yourself. How will you be able to know that the one you're desiring is not married? There's no problem in finding someone beautiful, but to desire someone because of her beauty only demonstrates one thing: that you're spiritually alienated and weak.
 
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RVincent

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...but to desire someone because of her beauty only demonstrates one thing: that you're spiritually alienated and weak.

1. This is a completely different topic. It would go under something like, "What do you look for in a relationaship." This isn't being discussed here.

2. I demonstrate a two part requirement according to the verse: "The word "to" is Gr. pros = toward. The guy is doing just a little more than looking. But even if the married woman says "No", as far as God is concerned, you've committed adultery."​
 
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harmmony

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RVincent said:

I demonstrate a two part requirement according to the verse: "The word "to" is Gr. pros = toward. The guy is doing just a little more than looking. But even if the married woman says "No", as far as God is concerned, you've committed adultery."​

(Mat 5:27-28) Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: {28} But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Let me please clarify something with you, the word "to" that you are referring to comes before the word lust, not before the word look. So, I don't see how it's relevant. Therefore I do not think that this scripture is suggesting that if you look at a person it's sin. I think it couldn't be clearer, it doesn't say "whoever looks upon a woman is committing adultery" it says "whoever looks upon a women to lust after her is committing adultery in his heart". I don't see why it's confusing. Looking is in no way a sin, looking and thinking that you want her/him (set the heart upon, long for, covet, desire - from Strongs) is lust. Particularly bad in marriage I would say, because all of your sexual desire should be reserved for your spouse, to look at another person and think of them in the same way you think about your spouse should absolutely be called adultery and be called a sin, irrelevant of whether the person you are looking at and lusting after is married or would say "no".

One other thing, as a single person, I cannot commit adultery. But, lusting after another person is still not OK. If no one is married then it may not be adultery, but it's still lust and should be completely avoided. And I have never heard a single person say that it's a sin too look at a girl/guy, that's ridiculous, otherwise how would we ever leave the house.
 
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Mustaphile

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This is the exact point that I have reached in my understanding of lust, Harmony.

I must say it's still difficult when you have so many women running around half dressed. :) I have made a point of learning to discipline my eyes. In the past in social situations I may have 'gawked' at the girls, and I found them quite a distraction. Now I make a point of looking at everyone around me, to remind myself that the world is full of many different people, young and old, big and small and they are all God's creatures and loved by him. I look at the eyes mostly, and try to see Jesus in the eyes of everyone I meet. I have become quite adept at totally ignoring the half dressed or provocatively dressed women now. Having committed myself in my heart to a special woman in my life, who lives a long way from me, I make a point of not torturing my soul by dwelling on the many lustful temptations that modern society can throw into our face.
 
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There's nothing wrong with looking at someone and admiring the beauty of God's creation. There's not even anything wrong with feeling physical attraction, or letting loose the occasional "wow" or "woo hoo" (within reason and within reasonable volume, of course). This is not lust. Lust deals with the desires and intentions of our heart. When you look upon a woman to lust, you are looking upon her with the specific intention or desire to perform an illicit act (usually of the sexual nature) with her. This is not the same as checking her out, or feeling attraction to her physical beauty.
 
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RVincent

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withorwithoutyou said:
There's nothing wrong with looking at someone and admiring the beauty of God's creation. There's not even anything wrong with feeling physical attraction, or letting loose the occasional "wow" or "woo hoo" (within reason and within reasonable volume, of course). This is not lust. Lust deals with the desires and intentions of our heart. When you look upon a woman to lust, you are looking upon her with the specific intention or desire to perform an illicit act (usually of the sexual nature) with her. This is not the same as checking her out, or feeling attraction to her physical beauty.

Very good! Exactly my point!

Thank you...I mean, thank withorwithoutyou.
 
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Mustaphile

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"Turn away your eyes from a shapely woman, and do not gaze at beauty belonging to another, many have been seduced by a woman's beauty, and by it passion is kindled like a fire."

Sirach 9:8

Sound advice. :)

There's nothing wrong with looking at someone and admiring the beauty of God's creation. There's not even anything wrong with feeling physical attraction, or letting loose the occasional "wow" or "woo hoo" (within reason and within reasonable volume, of course). This is not lust. Lust deals with the desires and intentions of our heart. When you look upon a woman to lust, you are looking upon her with the specific intention or desire to perform an illicit act (usually of the sexual nature) with her. This is not the same as checking her out, or feeling attraction to her physical beauty.

I don't disagree with what you are saying. I am simply stating that I prefer to err on the side of caution rather than allowing myself the the option of falling into temptation and lust. Men's desires are quite easily kindled and desire can turn to passion well after the object of that desire has left your sight. Your all free to make your own choices. This is mine.
 
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Mustaphile

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†Neil† said:
so what is lust? is lust thinking about you and a woman having sex or a sexual act together. is porn lust even if you dont think of yourself having sex with them? is porn lust if you are turned on by them but not thinking of having sex with them?

If you lust for something, you crave for it. It's an overwhelming desire or craving. You enthusiastically chase after it or intensely desire it.
 
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harmmony

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†Neil† said:
ahhh ok so now we are getting somewhere. so if you look at a girl and you think she is sexy is not lust but if you look at her and think about having sex with her is lust?

Does anyone know exactly, what the difference is between finding someone sexy and wanting to have sex with them? I can't see that you could find someone sexy without there being a little bit at least of wanting to have sex with them in there. It's such a fine line, when does finding someone attractive or pretty or beautiful (can't see anything wrong with that) become finding them sexy or wanting to have sex with them and where do you draw the line?
 
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Mustaphile

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harmmony said:
Does anyone know exactly, what the difference is between finding someone sexy and wanting to have sex with them? I can't see that you could find someone sexy without there being a little bit at least of wanting to have sex with them in there. It's such a fine line, when does finding someone attractive or pretty or beautiful (can't see anything wrong with that) become finding them sexy or wanting to have sex with them and where do you draw the line?

I think it has to come down to intensity of desire and the enthusiasm you have for chasing that desire and what the object of that desire is. By saying someone is sexy, you must be thinking of their sexual qualities. So you have emotionally reacted to them in terms of their capacity to excite your sexual desire. The act of contemplating that capacity to sexually excite can be a fleeting thought, but if you dwell upon it and nurture that thought and then surrender yourself to that desire, you have started to move towards making that desire lustful. It has to be measured by the intensity of desire, your enthusiasm for dwelling on that thought and the feeling of craving that that engenders.

Their are three things that as individuals motivate us. Put simply, our head, our heart and our sex drive. Each needs to be used in the appropriate order. You start with your head in most cases. You discern who and what another person is. After that discernment of mind, we can begin to open our hearts. In most situations we reserve allowing our hearts full reign. The more intimately involved we are with another person, the more our heart is open to them, but our sex drive is still in check. There is no need for it's involvement. When we find ourselves drawn quite closely to someone in mind and heart, we start to open both up completly and test the trustworthiness and faithfulness of the other person. The more open that sharing process is the more intense our love becomes. The process of sharing heart and mind though is a long process, since many barriers need to be broken down, and you need to reach a point in which you have both completly expressed that desire for a total sharing of heart and mind. At that point you have lost all barriers and you are truely being who you are to each other. No secrets, no hidden agendas, just plain honest talk built on a mutual understanding of who the other person is. This is still not the end of the process however. This is just how you got to the point of not hiding any parts of yourselves and being willing to openly express all your dreams, desires and aspiration and thoughts on life. You have to actually use this time, that has been so labouriously arrived at, to see if your dreams, desires and aspirations etc., are actually going in the same direction. When the two people agree, it's time to move forward in unity of purpose, in a bond of faithfulness and fidelity. Then you let your sex drive kick in...hehehe..its a long process and I think most people fail to push through to the point at which all barriers are removed from heart and mind. Most let the sex drive kick in early. The only problem with this is that sex clouds the issue and can lead to people forming lasting bonds before having a complete understanding of the other person.

I know this is long-winded, but I just thought I would express where I think the enthusiastically, craving for the other person in a sexual fashion should kick in on a permanent basis. Having your sex drive kick and allowing that to become a desirable state five seconds after seeing someone is not a way to approach any lasting relationship I think. It's always going to be a problem suppressing sexual attraction, but as long as it doesnt dominate the leading of the mind and heart, then it can be kept safely in its place and not be considered lusting. If you failed to keep that sexual desire in check and let it express itself over and above the leading of your heart and mind by dwelling on it and cherishing the desire, then your lusting. Just my humble opinion. :)

So that addresses lust in a person who is single. However, for a person who is married, the issue is that they have already placed themselves in a vow of faithfulness and fidelity, so the line for them is much more important. The order of precedence in motivations still holds. You think with your head first, your heart next, then your sex drive. If your going straight for sex drive, then in essence you've just skipped straight over your mind and heart, ignoring both. You probably havent commited a sin of lust, but you are definitely on your way. Your mind needs to tell you it's a dangerous path, and your sexual desires are being focused inappropriately, your heart needs to say that your love belongs to another, if you say all these things and still dwell on the sexual desire for another person, then your definitely lusting.
 
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GoldenKingGaze

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Being made in God's image we can bear His likeness or His enemies and ours, fallen Lucifer's.

Marriage and heart honesty or lust, variety and orgies, multiple partners.

Sin is unacceptable to God, and firstly we are made in God's likeness, with a conscience. To the fornicator, the conscience is an obastacle whchc must be dulled.

Sin is in our flesh, and pressures our souls and hearts to lust, then comes adultery in action, hopefully not.

Lust is to want what we have no right to. To want to have and enjoy.

Romance, sex, touches upon the foremsot human qualities, giving and receiving, kinbdness, love, unselfishness, commitment, honesty, attention, strength, honour, consideration, friendship, or, more than friendship, esteem, ego, child rearing. So a great honour again also paternal and maternal love, so life and new life, and the economy.

Life, union of lives!

Life's foremost. Love. Frienship, the strongest ties. Commitment. Kindness. Rejoicing. Honour, big issue.

Life's presence, the inner space. Want of it and to have and give, self.

If a person, lady is attacked, she can fight or shoot to preserve her honour, or her husband is there and fights, big fighting! Blood loss... if need be. Such is the weight of the honour of the inner space and seed...

Solomon said, watch over your heart for here are the wellsprings of life.
Life being response as in love and friendship with God.

Life, love, friendship, honour, trust, honesty, esteem, ego, justice are weighty matters.

Use the Golden Rule, what do you want from your friends, in the eyes and hearts regarding your future wife, if they see her.

Are you friends with God? Want to be, can you walk together as friends if you want to have another son's wife?

Adultery, romance, touches upon love, it looks like love, giving and receiving. But lust may look like love and have some come by it, and it has an angle of what looks like kindness, but it is love for, want of and union of souls, ie, minds, wills and emotions and hearts and flesh and blood and strength and maybe seed with an enemy of the earlier, more than, more than a friend. Maybe a husband or a wife.

It by counselors is called "sexual betrayal".

Destroying the love and friendship and honour, and trust, and esteem and ego, all in all injustice.

It really hurts.

Counselors have said that husband's would rather go through a life crippling injury than an adultery. So weighty.

What is weightier than all romance touches upon?

Solomon says guard your heart, and Job made a covenant with his eyes.

Solomon wrote about adultery in Proverbs 5-8.

It is the giving of your honour to a cruel one, years to a foreigner. It injures the soul.

How can you be attached to enemies? Betray and not hurt oneself.

Surely adultery is a tool of Satan, and a feature and a daughter of the Devil.

Variety in this way is a poisonous spice of life.

Adultery in your heart will kill true friendship. Quench fire and smother love...

It can lead to children of unfaithfulness.

It may not remain hidden.

It will keep you fruitless in God's kingdom and missions.

It is unclean and destroys life...

So whatever you want from others, give to them, in your secret heart and eyes.

And repent from and confess sins, receive prayer and the Holy Spirit, ask for Jesus blood, hunger for justice and show mercy.

Value honour actively.

Avoid long looks at girls legs at the knees, to the waist. And there bust, if not covered.

Be a holy son of God, God bless you in Jesus name.
 
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