The river

[Biblefreak]

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon; with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

He sat down.

The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: "Shall We Gather at the River."​

 

[grasping the after wind]

A priest giving a sermon on the dangers of alcohol, two glasses in front of him on the pulpit. He holds a live worm between his fingers.
" Now this glass on my right, your left is filled with water see what happens when I put the worm in it."
The worm swims around the glass and the priest removes it unharmed.
"But this glass on my left, your right is filled with whiskey."
He drops in the worm and it sinks to the bottom instantly dead.
"Now what does that tell you?"
A small man in the back yells out
"If you drink whiskey you won't get worms"