The Relation Ship is now Departing?

[Zeal777]

When human relationships fail, they never truly fail except in the strictly human sense that they did not produce what you want. They fail because they were entered into for the wrong reasons. Most people enter relationships with an eye toward what they can get out of them, rather then what they can put into them. The purpose of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you'd like to see show up, not what part of another you can capture or hold.

 

[RC1970]

I always say that as human beings we don't have relationships, we take hostages.

 

[Tinker Grey]

Most?

 

[gordonhooker]

... Stand at the crossroads, and look,
and ask for the ancient paths,
where the good way lies; and walk in it,
and find rest for your souls...

Jeremiah 6:16

 

[Zeal777]

Lol @christus it seems so in this day in age

 

[Eudaimonist]

When human relationships fail, they never truly fail except in the strictly human sense that they did not produce what you want. They fail because they were entered into for the wrong reasons. Most people enter relationships with an eye toward what they can get out of them, rather then what they can put into them. The purpose of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you'd like to see show up, not what part of another you can capture or hold.

The reason to put something into a relationship is to get something out of the relationship. That does not mean "capturing or holding" another person, but creating something beneficial together.

Relationships aren't about opportunities for self-sacrifice, but they are about getting a return on one's investment. Relationships take time and effort. One should be prepared to contribute to the relationship, because no relationship can be one-sided.


eudaimonia,

Mark

 

[SkyWriting]

I always say that as human beings we don't have relationships, we take hostages.

That would never end well. And some do end well.

 

[bhsmte]

When human relationships fail, they never truly fail except in the strictly human sense that they did not produce what you want. They fail because they were entered into for the wrong reasons. Most people enter relationships with an eye toward what they can get out of them, rather then what they can put into them. The purpose of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you'd like to see show up, not what part of another you can capture or hold.

Everything we do has an element of selfish motivation to it, because there is a desire to get something from it we want.

With that said, two humans no matter how compatible are going to have some differences come up and these differences will cause friction in a relationship. Whether a relationship lasts, mostly depends on the level of empathy people hold for others and if there is enough empathy in a relationship (from both parties) relationships can survive and flourish.

 

[SkyWriting]

Everything we do has an element of selfish motivation to it, because there is a desire to get something from it we want..

Fortunately, not true. We can choose to be selfless with no expected gain.
That's what differentiates us from animals.

 

[Eudaimonist]

Fortunately, not true. We can choose to be selfless with no expected gain.
That's what differentiates us from animals.

It is insulting to tell one's beloved that one gets nothing at all out of the relationship. Imagine someone saying that to you.

Relationships are blessedly selfish. Accept no substitutes.


eudaimonia,

Mark

 

[SkyWriting]

It is insulting to tell one's beloved that one gets nothing at all out of the relationship. Imagine someone saying that to you.
Relationships are blessedly selfish. Accept no substitutes.
eudaimonia,
Mark

I might not say it to you directly, but it still may be the case.

 

[SkyWriting]

When human relationships fail, they never truly fail except in the strictly human sense that they did not produce what you want.

The first part is correct. The second part is not something I can relate to.
I've never ended a relationship because I didn't get what I wanted.

With my first wife...I just couldn't give any more....I was spent....my health failing and I a danger to others.
It just had to stop before somebody got killed. I don't blame anyone. It just had to end.

 

[Eudaimonist]

I might not say it to you directly, but it still may be the case.

And that would not be a healthy or desirable relationship. It would be a mockery of one.


eudaimonia,

Mark

 

[SkyWriting]

And that would not be a healthy or desirable relationship. It would be a mockery of one.


eudaimonia,

Mark

I see. You feel some relationships are in a different class. I don't see that.
I've had ongoing working relationships with all kinds of sinful people and
never considered one of them undesirable. Drug dealers, cultists, prostitutes,
thieves, all kinds of people. I don't feel you can mock a relationship.
I'm in the "It's all good" camp.

 

[Freodin]

When human relationships fail, they never truly fail except in the strictly human sense that they did not produce what you want. They fail because they were entered into for the wrong reasons. Most people enter relationships with an eye toward what they can get out of them, rather then what they can put into them. The purpose of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you'd like to see show up, not what part of another you can capture or hold.

If you are not supposed to get something out of a relationship, but to put something into a relationship... that would be equally true for the person you are in a relationship with, wouldn`t it?

Neither of you is supposed to get something out of it. Both are supposed to put something into it.

So what happens to all that you both have put into it?

 

[Chany]

I am not sure if it is possible to have a relationship where one gets absolutely nothing out of it. I mean, it's not like I spend my days calculating the benefits I will get if I befriend so-and-so, but I still get something out of it, merely by the fact that I am interacting with another conscious agent. Our social environment affects us, so the mere act of establishing any sort of relationship changes us from our prior state.