The purpose behind this and what to do?

[TreizeEnder]

Hi, first post for me.

I'm currently in love with a wonderful girl, firstly. She means so much to me. I won't even begin to try and convey her importance to me; just know I give thanks everyday I have her.

Now, my problem. Several years back, a man took advantage of her brutally. She suffered from this man's actions up until I met her. She was able to gain a lot of esteem back and closure on the matter. All was good until a month ago...

Her father got an ill feeling concerning the criminal. He came to find via the police department that he was working mere "miles" from their house, yet lived in excess of thirty miles away. She relayed this to me. Before, I was under the impression this happened in another state; something that couldn't possibly be a potenial problem again from him. Now I was faced with this; I came to terms with it and gave my worries to god as much as I could. I even asked for a sign. What did this mean, why is he here, is it to serve some higher purpose?

I learned today that the man works not a mile, not a few blocks, but a house away from my companion. As you can imagine, I have pondered killing him. Honestly. I have even layed those thoughts out for god to sort in dismay. I don't want those thoughts. Now don't misinterpret me, I doubt that god is presenting me with the "go ahead" I'd partially like, but you tell me. What should we do? What should I do...

She isn't the first either. The judicial system is garbage. He was a level III offender in another state (from the 1st offense), he was downgraded to a II when he moved here, and after he got out of prison (2nd offense) he became a level I. You can't see level I offenders in the public records. All they do is submit an active address (which is miles away from where the problem is) to the police.

Also, this man lives in the same apartment complex as my companion's sister (which was a friend of his before the crime). He didn't live there before recently... coincidence? You say I'm reaching perhaps. Okay...

Not long ago my love was in a dance competition at the school she used to attend at the time of the insidious act. The criminal has numerous family members which saw/talked at her during said competition. A competition where she represented her current school.

... I don't know what to do. Take the defensive approach and just talk her through precautions? Or perhaps go on the offensive to some degree considering the circumstances. What to do? Any insight would be most welcome. Please pray for us. Please.

 

[tapero]

Hi, first post for me.

I'm currently in love with a wonderful girl, firstly. She means so much to me. I won't even begin to try and convey her importance to me; just know I give thanks everyday I have her.

Now, my problem. Several years back, a man took advantage of her brutally. She suffered from this man's actions up until I met her. She was able to gain a lot of esteem back and closure on the matter. All was good until a month ago...

Her father got an ill feeling concerning the criminal. He came to find via the police department that he was working mere "miles" from their house, yet lived in excess of thirty miles away. She relayed this to me. Before, I was under the impression this happened in another state; something that couldn't possibly be a potenial problem again from him. Now I was faced with this; I came to terms with it and gave my worries to god as much as I could. I even asked for a sign. What did this mean, why is he here, is it to serve some higher purpose?

I learned today that the man works not a mile, not a few blocks, but a house away from my companion. As you can imagine, I have pondered killing him. Honestly. I have even layed those thoughts out for god to sort in dismay. I don't want those thoughts. Now don't misinterpret me, I doubt that god is presenting me with the "go ahead" I'd partially like, but you tell me. What should we do? What should I do...

She isn't the first either. The judicial system is garbage. He was a level III offender in another state (from the 1st offense), he was downgraded to a II when he moved here, and after he got out of prison (2nd offense) he became a level I. You can't see level I offenders in the public records. All they do is submit an active address (which is miles away from where the problem is) to the police.

Also, this man lives in the same apartment complex as my companion's sister (which was a friend of his before the crime). He didn't live there before recently... coincidence? You say I'm reaching perhaps. Okay...

Not long ago my love was in a dance competition at the school she used to attend at the time of the insidious act. The criminal has numerous family members which saw/talked at her during said competition. A competition where she represented her current school.

... I don't know what to do. Take the defensive approach and just talk her through precautions? Or perhaps go on the offensive to some degree considering the circumstances. What to do? Any insight would be most welcome. Please pray for us. Please.

Hi, What a terrible situation. I'm so sorry for your girlfriend, what she suffered, and that this man is living at her sisters complex is concerning as well.

You're right in thinking that God would never want you to kill this man. I hear you have thoughts and they are understandable, but do bring them captive each time to Jesus so He will help you with them.

There is no purpose set forth in any of this. God does not plan others where they will live. People have free will. God did not ever want your girlfriend to suffer in any way. I know you didn't even think that.

I guess the thing to do is to get some advice. Go to the police station if you haven't already and speak with a detective. Tell him the situation and ask him for any advice. Some have been successful at getting offenders to move.

I can't really think of anything else, but to pray angels around your girlfriend, and her sister and yourself.

Hopefully, others will offer some good advice for you.

But in the thoughts, try to take them each captive to make them obedient to Christ. If you ever did something, your girlfriend would lose you.

Don't think revenge in anyway, as it is God's to avenge brother.

I know it's hard when you so want to protect those you love, but we can't take revenge.

I will be praying.

God bless you,
tapero

 

[TreizeEnder]

Hi, What a terrible situation. I'm so sorry for your girlfriend, what she suffered, and that this man is living at her sisters complex is concerning as well.

You're right in thinking that God would never want you to kill this man. I hear you have thoughts and they are understandable, but do bring them captive each time to Jesus so He will help you with them.

There is no purpose set forth in any of this. God does not plan others where they will live. People have free will. God did not ever want your girlfriend to suffer in any way. I know you didn't even think that.

I guess the thing to do is to get some advice. Go to the police station if you haven't already and speak with a detective. Tell him the situation and ask him for any advice. Some have been successful at getting offenders to move.

I can't really think of anything else, but to pray angels around your girlfriend, and her sister and yourself.

Hopefully, others will offer some good advice for you.

But in the thoughts, try to take them each captive to make them obedient to Christ. If you ever did something, your girlfriend would lose you.

Don't think revenge in anyway, as it is God's to avenge brother.

I know it's hard when you so want to protect those you love, but we can't take revenge.

I will be praying.

God bless you,
tapero[quote/]

Thank you for the feedback. Revenge isn't my motivation. He deeply hurt those I care for and all that care for her, but I act out of intrest in future problems. This man has committed two known crimes of this particular nature. Most people can't find it in themselves to tell someone else about such... evil acts. Perhaps you have heard the phrase "the best defense is a good offense"?

Though, I agree with you (mostly) that taking his life would ultimately be more detrimental for my love. Yet... I can't stand the prospect that he might walk away from us just to violate someone else.

For the moment, I will leave such deeds left alone. However, you advice to talk with the detective has sparked something in me. I know the detective personally (did anyway). I suppose that might be just the leverage to suffice. As I said before, I don't have intentions of revenge. I simply want peace of mind for those I care for and everyone else that is a potenial target. Sex offenders can be upped a level if the community reports such actions. This would get him out of the black and back in the public's eye. Looks like we get to move him at our accord after all. Thank you again.

 

[Onlythingavailable]

What about a restraining order? I'm not sure what is needed for it, but following your girlfriend to another state, working next door to her and moving into her sister's apartment complex could be considered harassment. Talking to the detective is a good idea.

I will pray for you, your girlfriend and her sister. And please, don't do anything rash.

 

[Petunia]

Killing him would also probably torment your girlfriend.. because she would feel guilty and grieve over it for the rest of her life. Not because of him.. but because she loves you, and would feel that she has ruined your life.

Don't do that to her.

Right now, you're running on anger and fear for their safety. But don't be rash, as the other posters have said. You'll regret it, I assure you.

I agree with the others, talk to the detective. Talk to her and her family. Talk to your own family. Get some ideas on the best move possible. You may have to move out of the area.

You and your loved ones are in my prayers.

 

[BelindaP]

There will always be animals like that in the world. It is not our job to take justice into our own hands, but to leave that to God. Pray for the safety of your girlfriend and that of any woman this guy might run across. Also, do talk to the detective and get some advice.

By no means should you do anything to this man. Your girlfriend will have not only lost her innocence to this man, but you as well. Do not compound her loss by doing that.

 

[lavenderskies]

I have had to deal with a similar situation and it involved my child being the one harmed. I got a restraining order in the criminal court as part of the offender's probation, and also in family court. I was able to be specific about the offender no longer going into my mother's place of employment, schools, my church, or stores I frequent.

I strongly suggest the girlfriend (if she is 18+) contact the police, detective, someone like that. Also probation and parole if he is on probation. If your girlfriend is not yet 18 her parents will need to make contact for her.