The problem with "Every man is a potential rapist"

[LOVEthroughINTELLECT]

The problem with "Every man is a potential rapist" is that it implies that sexual assault is an explosion waiting to happen in every male member of our species.

Just now I was searching through Google for the phrase "Every man is a potential rapist" and found discussions where people, including men themselves, were saying that if you are a man you are fooling yourself if you think that you are not capable of ever raping a woman. At least that is what I took their words to mean.

It is saying that, whether you are conscious of it or not, as a male in contemporary societies you are carrying around beliefs, attitudes, behavioral patterns, etc. that are the recipe for committing sexual assault.

I think that it is essentially saying that men--whether they are conscious of it or not; whether they accept it or not--cannot control themselves and therefore a great deal of social structure and social sanctions is needed to control them.

Apparently there are even people with advanced degrees in the social sciences saying that there is a "switch" in every man that the right conditions will flip and cause him to rape women.

If "Every man is a potential rapist" is simply a reminder that some men do sexually assault women and therefore precautions need to be taken, it is poorly worded.

Saying something like "Sexual assault is a threat that women need to be conscious of" would probably be more accurate. It would be the same as what we all regularly hear about identity theft, scams, computer viruses, terrorist attacks, workplace violence, etc.

Saying, "Every man is a potential rapist", whether it is intended to or not, can be taken as a statement about men. Not about culture. Not about social conditions. A statement about the psyche of every male member of our species. And apparently a lot of people, wittingly or unwittingly, do take it that way.

 

[Ana the Ist]

I would agree with the statement if they added..."in the same way every woman is a potential rapist."

 

[SoldierOfTheKing]

Normal men despise rapists...

 

[bhsmte]

The problem with "Every man is a potential rapist" is that it implies that sexual assault is an explosion waiting to happen in every male member of our species.

Just now I was searching through Google for the phrase "Every man is a potential rapist" and found discussions where people, including men themselves, were saying that if you are a man you are fooling yourself if you think that you are not capable of ever raping a woman. At least that is what I took their words to mean.

It is saying that, whether you are conscious of it or not, as a male in contemporary societies you are carrying around beliefs, attitudes, behavioral patterns, etc. that are the recipe for committing sexual assault.

I think that it is essentially saying that men--whether they are conscious of it or not; whether they accept it or not--cannot control themselves and therefore a great deal of social structure and social sanctions is needed to control them.

Apparently there are even people with advanced degrees in the social sciences saying that there is a "switch" in every man that the right conditions will flip and cause him to rape women.

If "Every man is a potential rapist" is simply a reminder that some men do sexually assault women and therefore precautions need to be taken, it is poorly worded.

Saying something like "Sexual assault is a threat that women need to be conscious of" would probably be more accurate. It would be the same as what we all regularly hear about identity theft, scams, computer viruses, terrorist attacks, workplace violence, etc.

Saying, "Every man is a potential rapist", whether it is intended to or not, can be taken as a statement about men. Not about culture. Not about social conditions. A statement about the psyche of every male member of our species. And apparently a lot of people, wittingly or unwittingly, do take it that way.

And every women is a potential murderer.

 

[Paidiske]

I find the concept of Schrödinger’s Rapist more helpful than the idea that "every man" is a potential anything.

That is, not every man is a rapist or would rape. But as a woman, I have no way of knowing which men might be rapists or not until the observation is made (at which point the situation has gone beyond dispassionate observation and is a matter of survival).

So no, not every man is a potential rapist, but I almost have to behave as if that were true (in order to protect myself) because I have no way of knowing which man is a potential rapist.

 

[Ana the Ist]

I find the concept of Schrödinger’s Rapist more helpful than the idea that "every man" is a potential anything.

That is, not every man is a rapist or would rape. But as a woman, I have no way of knowing which men might be rapists or not until the observation is made (at which point the situation has gone beyond dispassionate observation and is a matter of survival).

So no, not every man is a potential rapist, but I almost have to behave as if that were true (in order to protect myself) because I have no way of knowing which man is a potential rapist.

I think that's understandable...it's the same principle that the police use in regards to citizens. They have no way which ones are armed or not, so they have to behave as if everyone is armed so they can be prepared for a situation where they are.

 

[TerranceL]

So no, not every man is a potential rapist, but I almost have to behave as if that were true (in order to protect myself) because I have no way of knowing which man is a potential rapist.

Would you be ok if people thought of you as a potential child abuser solely because of your gender?

 

[CrystalDragon]

Honestly that "every man is a potential rapist" thought is part of the reason why I don't want to date anybody.

 

[Paidiske]

Would you be ok if people thought of you as a potential child abuser solely because of your gender?

I have to manage my working life as if I were a potential child abuser, regardless of my gender. Safety of the vulnerable comes before anything else.

 

[dysert]

As a man, I really don't have a problem with thinking every man is a potential rapist. Neither do I have a problem with "every man is a potential murderer, adulterer, child abuser, etc." The fact is, men (and women) are depraved and sinful. We are capable of heinous acts, and many people don't control themselves so as to prevent acting these out. I've seen/read/heard too many stories about how someone "lost it", and the people who know them would claim, "I never saw it coming." Or a friend would say, "There's no way he could have done it -- he wasn't that kind of guy; he didn't have it in him."

Without the power of the Holy Spirit restraining us, we are no different from the people long ago who "did what was right in their own eyes". And even with the Spirit's restraint, sometimes somebody can "snap" and in a weak moment commit an act totally inconsistent with his/her character.

 

[DogmaHunter]

Any human is a human with potential to do bad things. And good things.

Seems rather obvious.

Imagine any action a human could engage in.
That's potentially an action you could do, being a human and all.

 

[Dave-W]

I would agree with the statement if they added..."in the same way every woman is a potential rapist."

That does not work. The definition of "rape" requires penetration. Women lack the equipment to penetrate.

 

[Paidiske]

Erm. I think your assumptions might need some re-examining there, Dave.

 

[Dave-W]

I've seen/read/heard too many stories about how someone "lost it", and the people who know them would claim, "I never saw it coming." Or a friend would say, "There's no way he could have done it -- he wasn't that kind of guy; he didn't have it in him."

I used to have a friend that I would have said that of. He seemed to be a great, fun guy. One day he came home and celebrated his promotion at work by putting a gun to the heads of his wife and 2 teen age kids and pulling the trigger.

 

[Dave-W]

Erm. I think your assumptions might need some re-examining there, Dave.

Not really. In 2013 the FBI revised and updated its legal definition of "rape." The new definition:

“... penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”

So without using some kind of "object," women cannot rape anyone. Most states are now calling sex crimes that do not fit that definition something else like "Criminal Sexual Conduct." (the term Michigan uses)

So if a woman forces a guy into having intercourse with her, it is NOT rape because she is not penetrating him.

The legal website slate [dot] com explained it this way:

"Now, the FBI hopes that the statistics will finally reflect 'a long list of sex offenses that are criminal in most jurisdictions, such as offenses involving oral or anal penetration, penetration with objects, and rapes of males' that had previously been erased from the big picture. The new definition also drops the 'forcible' qualifier in favor of 'without the consent of the victim,' encouraging jurisdictions to report rapes perpetrated without a show of physical force."

 

[Paidiske]

No, the assumption I'm calling into question is that women have no access to "objects" which can be used in this way.

 

[Dave-W]

No, the assumption I'm calling into question is that women have no access to "objects" which can be used in this way.

Ah - ok.

 

[Strivax]

I find the concept of Schrödinger’s Rapist more helpful than the idea that "every man" is a potential anything.

That is, not every man is a rapist or would rape. But as a woman, I have no way of knowing which men might be rapists or not until the observation is made (at which point the situation has gone beyond dispassionate observation and is a matter of survival).

So no, not every man is a potential rapist, but I almost have to behave as if that were true (in order to protect myself) because I have no way of knowing which man is a potential rapist.

The idea that every man is a potential rapist finds every man guilty of a criminal tendency to violence he has not committed, might have no inclination to commit, and probably never will commit. It is disingenuous, extreme feminist propaganda. Though all men have the equipment, and some men rape, true, though very few, and though ordinary sensible precautions may be in order for women, slandering an entire gender out of some lesbian-compatible, complacently convenient socio-political-ideology is not. I have a lot of time for moderate feminism, but this slogan is just complete bull-dung.

Cheers, Strivax

 

[SoldierOfTheKing]

Most violent criminals are not potential rapists...

 

[WolfGate]

Any human is a human with potential to do bad things. And good things.

Seems rather obvious.

Imagine any action a human could engage in.
That's potentially an action you could do, being a human and all.

Obviously that is true, but I also think it is clear that is not the context or message being sent by advocates of that phrase. The message they are trying to send is that all men have, at least subconsciously, an antagonism towards women, objectification of women and/or power need to control to women that could lead to rape in a certain set of circumstances. Got others from the list of reasons why men rape? Throw those in there as well and the message is the same - all men have at least one of those.

I suspect they would object pretty strongly if someone said "every woman is a potential false accuser of rape".

Having said that, I'm not minimizing that sexual assault is a problem across all levels of society. The 20% of US college women (Waashington Post article)who claim they were sexually assaulted over a 4 year period is an entirely too high number and frankly scary to me as my daughter will be heading off to university next year. With that high a number, I understand Paidiske's comment that she almost has to behave as if that is true. I suspect in the end I'll wind up trying to teach my daughter a similar strategy for when she is off at school. I find that wise on her part, and while perhaps a bit unfair to men acknowledges there are many men who would not hurt her out there. The idea, however, that all men are potential rapists (hold negative views towards women that make them capable of rape) is unfair to men and serves to deny men an chance to be seen as honorable by women.