The Perils of Excessive Modesty

[Michie]

I found a fascinating piece by a protestant minister's wife atMusings of a Young Mom (via Danielle Bean's shared items). She describes what happened when she and her young kids went to a playground and found an ultra-modestly-dressed Mennonite family there:

A teenage girl followed a toddler around the park, both of them wearing the long plain dresses that hid every shape of their young bodies. The mother sat on a park bench quietly watching while the husband and brother stood nearby arms folded, grimly surveying the area. I watched a young girl about age 9 climbing quietly up and down the play structures, her ankle-length dress billowing around her, her hair tucked into a small bonnet.

The author begins to wonder whether, in the eyes of this other family, she and her children seem immodest. Extreme self-consciousness follows:

[M]y girls were in t-shirts and the little knee length skirts that they love, with the shorts built in. But suddenly I was uncomfortable, very aware of their bare little legs. Were those men watching them? I felt objectified, suddenly feeling the need to be protected by a long skirt, and wondering if I should have dressed the girls more “modestly”.
It felt creepy to be around them.

Proponents of extreme modesty would say that I was feeling exposed, because I was wearing only jeans and a t-shirt. So I was immodest and therefore felt objectified.

But she recalls suffering the same discomfort when she herself was a child, trained to dress and act with extreme modesty always in mind:

Continued- http://www.insidecatholic.com/myblog/excessive-modesty.html

 

[SolomonVII]

Women in pre-colonial Tahiti were perfectly comfortable and were considered as completely modest by themselves and others to spend the days without shirts.

There was an effect for sure when they were colonized by people of sterner outlooks on modesty. Their modesty became judged in comparison of the stricter code that came with the colonizers.

Indeed, living among people with the strict codes of fashion will make the girls in the OP unsafe. People will deem them as little skanks in comparison, and treat them as such.

Even modesty has its cost. This message has an especially poignant message for good Catholic women, who correctly try to conduct themselves with modesty in all things. In doing the right thing for yourselves, speak out for the sisters who do not share your same sensitivities. The more that you succeed, the more that they become imperiled.

In terms of CF, OBOB, I was particularly dismayed about some of the comments about Carrie Prejean some time back, for precisely that reason.

 

[Eucharisted]

People tend to flee from one extreme to another extreme. They flee from protagonists in Japaanese role-playing games being young to protagonists in Japanese role-playing games being old. They flee from belief in God to disbelief in God. They flee from immodest nudity to completely covering the whole body head to toe. In their zeal for goodness, they overlook the middle ground between extremes, which is ripe with choices: Protagonists of varying ages, belief in the possibility of a good God, modesty in clothing and behavior, etc.

 

[MKJ]

With the Mennonites, and also with the Amish, modesty isn't the only reason they dress that way. The author's point is interesting and I think true, but I just wanted to point that out.

I think it is also true that too much emphasis on modesty can be related to too little. Both see the body as nothing more than a sexual object. One therefor treats it only as that, the other uses it as an excuse to treat it as something dirty. Both objectify it.

 

[SolomonVII]

With the Mennonites, and also with the Amish, modesty isn't the only reason they dress that way. The author's point is interesting and I think true, but I just wanted to point that out.

I think it is also true that too much emphasis on modesty can be related to too little. Both see the body as nothing more than a sexual object. One therefor treats it only as that, the other uses it as an excuse to treat it as something dirty. Both objectify it.

That is a very good point. It is the same mindset that has someone uncovering and covering up. for most of us though, there is mostly just innocent pleasure in feeling the sun on your arms or the breeze on your bar legs.

 

[BAFRIEND]

so it is the mennonites fault for something because they choose to dress according to their faith

if that is their way of worshipping God then even if they are wrong i think God will appreciate the gesture

the same way in if we as Catholics are wrong for praying the rosary God will appreciate the gesture

i just found this ladys reaction to the way another family composes itself kind of bizarre and over the top- her reaction was to wonder if men were drooling over her daughters legs ?

i find that offends me more than anything else she stated- maybe there were some women who were drooling over her daughters legs- these days when a female bible school teacher rapes and murders a little girl you just never can tell anymore can you

 

[Eucharisted]

so it is the mennonites fault for something because they choose to dress according to their faith

if that is their way of worshipping God then even if they are wrong i think God will appreciate the gesture

the same way in if we as Catholics are wrong for praying the rosary God will appreciate the gesture

i just found this ladys reaction to the way another family composes itself kind of bizarre and over the top- her reaction was to wonder if men were drooling over her daughters legs ?

i find that offends me more than anything else she stated- maybe there were some women who were drooling over her daughters legs- these days when a female bible school teacher rapes and murders a little girl you just never can tell anymore can you

God does not appreciate evil, He delights in good. We do not have little truths but the fullness of truth.