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the ocd problem that started it all

Kostilaks

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Aug 24, 2018
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I will give you an example about my problem similar to mine but I will be giving you an example due to ocd.

Let's take for example, a guy who suffers from ocd. while in frustration and dizziness due to ocd, he may have fast told to God that he would do something and then never bother himself about this matter. there is a chance that he may have asked for a specific punishment in case of the broken promise.

lets be more specific. lets say, that the guy due to heavy ocd attack, may have told God in order to relieve himself from the ocd worries, that he would go in a school yard and then never bother himself with this matter.

yes it is just a nonsense ocd compulsion. the problem is, that the guy does not remember if he told God that he will just go there to do the compulsion and then never bother himself with this matter or if he promise to God during the ocd attack that he would go to the school yard to do the compulsion and then never bother himself with this matter. he cant remember if it was just a random thought to God or a promise. he cant remember if he made a promise due to ocd and he cant remember if he asked for a punishment. why would he asked for a punishment? actually, he does not want punishment, he just uses the fake promises to God that probably happen in his head without his will in order to beat ocd.

for example, ocd was bugging him a lot and he did not want to do the tiring compulsion. so he may have made a promise to God not to do the compulsion and he may have asked for a ppunishment to force himself not to do the compulsion.

anyway, days later, that guy thinks about that day, the school yard etc, and suddenly worries if he may have broken the maybe ocd promise to God, just because he thought about it. he remember during the ocd attack, having words and thoughts in his mind like that he would never bother himself with it again (the compulsion or the school yard) he cant remember if he was making a promise. everything was so dizzy in his mind and foggy.

that guy after months, finally was able to recover from these worries. he was like what if he may have made a promise to God not to bother with this matter again ( school yard and the compulsion) and he may have accidentally broke the promise just because he worried or thought about it many times. not bother with this matter again maybe thinking about this matter or writing about this matter, may have broke an hypothetical ocd promise (hypothetical cause he cant remember).

He recovered about this matter. it was the first big ocd attack about the worries of making promises to God.

Yesterday, that guy was checking apartments and one apartment randomly took him in the google map, in a spot near that school yard (where the ocd stuff happened).

the guy freaked. he could have turned off the site, he knew the school yard he had the compulsions was near but he wanted to make sure if it was really near, so instead of closing the site, he started searching the school yard in google maps. he found it. but! oh no! that guy remembers the words that he would never bother himself with it again. right now, he started searching in google maps about that place. the place that started the whole ocd promise story. he thinks and worries because he is like what if searching for that place (School yard) in google maps, was counting like bothering himself about it again. (a maybe ocd promise) and now he worries if he broke a hypothetical ocd promise. he worries for a specific punishment it may happen because he may have asked it, if he made the hypothetical ocd promise. he worries if he maybe transformed to something ugly.

if someone says to God that he would never bother himself with that place or compulsion, and a year later, due to ocd worries, searches the place to see if he accidentally, "bothered himself with it" does it count as if he bothered himself with it?

he just wanted to make sure if he maybe accidentally broke an old hypothetical promise to God. and by trying to make sure, he may have really broke an old hypothetical promise to God. if someone says that he will never bother himself with that thing again, how does that apply? does that apply about not doing again the same compulsion? never think about the compulsion? never go to that place of the compulsion? they are just general words.

so, when the guy tried to confirm if he may have accidentally broke a promise due to ocd, he started searching that place in google maps to confirm it. does this count as he bothers himself with it? so does that mean he broke the promise?