Ok, Here is a short story i have been working on....It started off as a piece of coursework for my English lang+ lit course but has kind evolved...it is totally not finished so any ideas for an ending would be fab!.....any oppinions?
The Last Effronian
Part One
FEAR FALLS BEFORE THE FORTRESS OF FAITH
Few eyes had seen that city for years. It was said that the throne of evil itself lay inside its borders and men feared its proud towers and melancholy air. It lay silent and long forgotten though death and old age thrived, intertwined within its shadows. No sound would have disturbed its walls but for the yawn of the waters, which lay south of its gate; they cried and whispered its name to the lifting winds. Effroi, Effroi.
Darkness had reigned in that fearful place for centuries but long ago, more than silence sounded through its turrets and stairwells. The Effronians dwelt therein for generations, a hideous but God-fearing folk, free from greed and riddled with laughter. They dined in its kingly halls and their contentment kept the foundations at rest.
It is said that one night handsome strangers from a distant land called to the people of Effroi, wailing in pain and anguish they cried out. The Effronians, filled with compassion, heard their cry and brought them into the city, giving them the love that saturated their very presence.
They dwelt in happiness for a time though the strangers were a fearful people- not at all in likeness to them. They were, however, clever with words and the people of Effroi soon became blinded by their stature and their stories. Handing themselves over to fear, they believed the city could no longer give the protection that they needed and, after banishing the strangers from that place, they built up walls like iron.
The city, knowing of their fear, the one thing it could not stand, cried in despair and movement was felt in the foundations of the earth. The Effronians, now cursed, lived fearing all until they died out, a sorrowful people.
The age of the Effronians was over but there was one who left the mighty walls of that city, though it was unknown; a young maiden, born of the poorest in the city, loved one of the handsome strangers and swore to follow him, even unto death. When the order was given for the strangers to leave, she wept for she loved her city and the life that it gave her. She kept her word but she never forgot and secretly, though she never returned, she longed for that beloved place until the end of her days. So for years those walls stood alone; men feared the land and, over time they forgot its power. The stories of the people of Effroi became fiction and few now believed the tales of that gigantic city.
Living in the neighbouring land of Gloire was a noble bachelor, he knew of those old tales but he was rarely of good health and, within his decadent halls, employed several boys to help with chores and the running of that grand house. One of the boys in particular was inattentive and more trouble than his master deemed useful. Following several warnings to his parents regarding his nature, it was decided that he would be liberated and (because the man was somewhat kinder than other masters of the time) brought back to work once he had matured.
And so the young boy, being but seventeen, set off on a journey. He travelled the breadth of that land by foot and, after resting upon the borders for a fortnight and travelling with tradesmen for a further week, he reached the far outer walls of an unknown city on the afternoon of the second day of the fourth week from his setting out.
Though in his possession he held a very detailed map- the best of his masters house- he could not locate the city or its name and concluded that it had been missed off completely. After walking for a further six days around the border, all of which were spent marveling at the beauty and workmanship of the walls, he came upon the gate of the city which, in his heart, he felt drawn to. The gates, taller than any man could climb, were bolted closed as if the worlds secrets lay behind them.
The tales do not say how long he stayed outside those gates, longing to see the other side, but it was certainly months, perhaps years. Even now he could not say what kept him beside those curtains of black that held him back from that fearful place- the one place he wanted to be. But there he stayed, teaching himself to catch fish from the nearby lakes, though he ate from his supplies whenever possible; there were noises by those waters which startled him and though he explored the outer edges, he never found the source.
And so it was that a long time passed, the boy grew strong learning how to hunt and cook, but he always yearned to see that city. It became his passion and obsession and his curiosity of that place was so great that it became a burden in his soul.
For those long months the young man (for now he was quite grown) never saw another living thing; neither bird nor beast seemed to grace that land and, though he loved that place, there was something dark about it which unsettled him. He seemed to both love and hate the walls and often he fell into fits of anger, thrashing against the gates and leaving himself exhausted.
The tales tell of how, one evening in a particularly violent fit of rage he began to dig in the hard ground below the gate. After two hours he had made an indent of about four inches and, exhausted, he fell to the ground and slept until late the following day. Over time he found that it was most productive to dig at night, thrusting his knife into the ground, much like a chisel and then applying weight as one would with a leaver which meant that a small amount of earth came loose every time. He would then sleep during the day, in the higher temperatures, to build up his strength.
Continuing like this for a time he finally managed to create a hole big enough, through which he could climb; He hastily made ready his pack in the growing shade and followed it onto the other side. Those seconds felt like hours and, although for months his thoughts of this moment had been never ceasing, he could not help but feel a sense of dread. He pulled himself through the hole, rose to his feet and looked around; his heart wrenched.
Dry stones, dusty soil and weary shrubs surrounded him, everything he saw was grey and sad; a depression lay in the air which engulfed him and stole away any joy left within his soul; This city was fearsomely close to death. Though the outer walls still stood strong, he saw before him a wasteland of regret and mourning. The buildings, which looked once tall and proud, now drooped desolate and sad. The sun shone in his eyes and he closed them to its powerful rays. The air felt dehydrated and he could taste the stench of hot stone filling his head and making him stumble and wretch.
Taking several staggering steps to his left he slowly made his way to the wall of what seemed to have been an outer courtyard. Holding out his hand to steady himself he felt the immense heat of the dusty stone and jerking away, he lost his balance and fell to the ground. There he lay for several minutes. The sun seemed hotter than ever before and he groaned for he felt that to die in this place was an inviting idea, though he knew he should fight against it.
The man was not sure how long he had slept, though when he moved he winced for the sun had badly burned his skin; blisters began to appear on his face and hands. Walking was painful and slow for his eyes were blinded by the white hot sun, and in his heart he felt a burden of sorrow, like a mother who cries for her child.
As night fell and the shadows grew long, the quiet of that place became deafening and he chanted songs for fear of being consumed by the silence. He sang until he was hoarse and, in surrender, fell to the hard ground. Even in his sleep he could not escape his fear; he imagined a woman calling to him as she was consumed and tormented by disease and, though he tried, he could not save her.
Hours and days crawled by. He staggered forward during the day in pain and fear and at night tried not to sleep for when he did he saw the woman and the terror in her eyes. The dreams were always the same; the woman called to him and followed him through the city. She was hunched over with bulges beneath her tightly wrapped cloak and she seemed to stagger as if carrying a heavy weight. Her face haunted him and he felt that, not only had he known her at a time, but he had loved her dearly.
And so it was that he made his way through seven identical courtyards, every time he reached the archway which led to the next, he longed to see a new sight for he was weary of that place and its stone. Alas, he never did and every time his heart sank further until he felt there must be nothing left within him. As he ventured through the seventh courtyard, sleep overpowered him surprisingly early and he could not help but to submit.
He saw the woman and his heart raced for there was something, this time, which was different. He chose not to run from her as he had before, though he knew not why, and he looked around and gasped. He was standing with his back to the wall of the city and he saw before him, beyond the figure of the woman, fields of green and yellow. The colours, to him, were beautiful and his eyes welled; for once he saw no stone, dust or silence.
The woman took a step forward and, as he looked into her eyes he gave a start; she was smiling. In a moment words could not express the joy he felt; life entered him and hope rose in his heart, the woman laughed and rose to her full height. He saw that she was both young and beautiful. She brought out from the folds in her cloak a baby boy, she nursed the child in her arms for a moment and kissing his forehead, she laid him on the ground. Then standing she looked to the man, her eyes shining, and she turned and walked away. Opening his eyes the man smiled; for weeks he had seen nothing but death and, though he never dreamed of her again, he remembered the woman all of his days.
Rising to his feet, he turned with lighter limbs towards the archway of the courtyard. As he approached the familiar stonework a smile crossed his face; he saw before him a new sight; a vast wall of black stone and the heart of the city. He stepped through into the cool shade and movement sounded in the deep.
Thx for taking the time to read it! IAMSANGEL XXX
The Last Effronian
Part One
FEAR FALLS BEFORE THE FORTRESS OF FAITH
Few eyes had seen that city for years. It was said that the throne of evil itself lay inside its borders and men feared its proud towers and melancholy air. It lay silent and long forgotten though death and old age thrived, intertwined within its shadows. No sound would have disturbed its walls but for the yawn of the waters, which lay south of its gate; they cried and whispered its name to the lifting winds. Effroi, Effroi.
Darkness had reigned in that fearful place for centuries but long ago, more than silence sounded through its turrets and stairwells. The Effronians dwelt therein for generations, a hideous but God-fearing folk, free from greed and riddled with laughter. They dined in its kingly halls and their contentment kept the foundations at rest.
It is said that one night handsome strangers from a distant land called to the people of Effroi, wailing in pain and anguish they cried out. The Effronians, filled with compassion, heard their cry and brought them into the city, giving them the love that saturated their very presence.
They dwelt in happiness for a time though the strangers were a fearful people- not at all in likeness to them. They were, however, clever with words and the people of Effroi soon became blinded by their stature and their stories. Handing themselves over to fear, they believed the city could no longer give the protection that they needed and, after banishing the strangers from that place, they built up walls like iron.
The city, knowing of their fear, the one thing it could not stand, cried in despair and movement was felt in the foundations of the earth. The Effronians, now cursed, lived fearing all until they died out, a sorrowful people.
The age of the Effronians was over but there was one who left the mighty walls of that city, though it was unknown; a young maiden, born of the poorest in the city, loved one of the handsome strangers and swore to follow him, even unto death. When the order was given for the strangers to leave, she wept for she loved her city and the life that it gave her. She kept her word but she never forgot and secretly, though she never returned, she longed for that beloved place until the end of her days. So for years those walls stood alone; men feared the land and, over time they forgot its power. The stories of the people of Effroi became fiction and few now believed the tales of that gigantic city.
Living in the neighbouring land of Gloire was a noble bachelor, he knew of those old tales but he was rarely of good health and, within his decadent halls, employed several boys to help with chores and the running of that grand house. One of the boys in particular was inattentive and more trouble than his master deemed useful. Following several warnings to his parents regarding his nature, it was decided that he would be liberated and (because the man was somewhat kinder than other masters of the time) brought back to work once he had matured.
And so the young boy, being but seventeen, set off on a journey. He travelled the breadth of that land by foot and, after resting upon the borders for a fortnight and travelling with tradesmen for a further week, he reached the far outer walls of an unknown city on the afternoon of the second day of the fourth week from his setting out.
Though in his possession he held a very detailed map- the best of his masters house- he could not locate the city or its name and concluded that it had been missed off completely. After walking for a further six days around the border, all of which were spent marveling at the beauty and workmanship of the walls, he came upon the gate of the city which, in his heart, he felt drawn to. The gates, taller than any man could climb, were bolted closed as if the worlds secrets lay behind them.
The tales do not say how long he stayed outside those gates, longing to see the other side, but it was certainly months, perhaps years. Even now he could not say what kept him beside those curtains of black that held him back from that fearful place- the one place he wanted to be. But there he stayed, teaching himself to catch fish from the nearby lakes, though he ate from his supplies whenever possible; there were noises by those waters which startled him and though he explored the outer edges, he never found the source.
And so it was that a long time passed, the boy grew strong learning how to hunt and cook, but he always yearned to see that city. It became his passion and obsession and his curiosity of that place was so great that it became a burden in his soul.
For those long months the young man (for now he was quite grown) never saw another living thing; neither bird nor beast seemed to grace that land and, though he loved that place, there was something dark about it which unsettled him. He seemed to both love and hate the walls and often he fell into fits of anger, thrashing against the gates and leaving himself exhausted.
The tales tell of how, one evening in a particularly violent fit of rage he began to dig in the hard ground below the gate. After two hours he had made an indent of about four inches and, exhausted, he fell to the ground and slept until late the following day. Over time he found that it was most productive to dig at night, thrusting his knife into the ground, much like a chisel and then applying weight as one would with a leaver which meant that a small amount of earth came loose every time. He would then sleep during the day, in the higher temperatures, to build up his strength.
Continuing like this for a time he finally managed to create a hole big enough, through which he could climb; He hastily made ready his pack in the growing shade and followed it onto the other side. Those seconds felt like hours and, although for months his thoughts of this moment had been never ceasing, he could not help but feel a sense of dread. He pulled himself through the hole, rose to his feet and looked around; his heart wrenched.
Dry stones, dusty soil and weary shrubs surrounded him, everything he saw was grey and sad; a depression lay in the air which engulfed him and stole away any joy left within his soul; This city was fearsomely close to death. Though the outer walls still stood strong, he saw before him a wasteland of regret and mourning. The buildings, which looked once tall and proud, now drooped desolate and sad. The sun shone in his eyes and he closed them to its powerful rays. The air felt dehydrated and he could taste the stench of hot stone filling his head and making him stumble and wretch.
Taking several staggering steps to his left he slowly made his way to the wall of what seemed to have been an outer courtyard. Holding out his hand to steady himself he felt the immense heat of the dusty stone and jerking away, he lost his balance and fell to the ground. There he lay for several minutes. The sun seemed hotter than ever before and he groaned for he felt that to die in this place was an inviting idea, though he knew he should fight against it.
The man was not sure how long he had slept, though when he moved he winced for the sun had badly burned his skin; blisters began to appear on his face and hands. Walking was painful and slow for his eyes were blinded by the white hot sun, and in his heart he felt a burden of sorrow, like a mother who cries for her child.
As night fell and the shadows grew long, the quiet of that place became deafening and he chanted songs for fear of being consumed by the silence. He sang until he was hoarse and, in surrender, fell to the hard ground. Even in his sleep he could not escape his fear; he imagined a woman calling to him as she was consumed and tormented by disease and, though he tried, he could not save her.
Hours and days crawled by. He staggered forward during the day in pain and fear and at night tried not to sleep for when he did he saw the woman and the terror in her eyes. The dreams were always the same; the woman called to him and followed him through the city. She was hunched over with bulges beneath her tightly wrapped cloak and she seemed to stagger as if carrying a heavy weight. Her face haunted him and he felt that, not only had he known her at a time, but he had loved her dearly.
And so it was that he made his way through seven identical courtyards, every time he reached the archway which led to the next, he longed to see a new sight for he was weary of that place and its stone. Alas, he never did and every time his heart sank further until he felt there must be nothing left within him. As he ventured through the seventh courtyard, sleep overpowered him surprisingly early and he could not help but to submit.
He saw the woman and his heart raced for there was something, this time, which was different. He chose not to run from her as he had before, though he knew not why, and he looked around and gasped. He was standing with his back to the wall of the city and he saw before him, beyond the figure of the woman, fields of green and yellow. The colours, to him, were beautiful and his eyes welled; for once he saw no stone, dust or silence.
The woman took a step forward and, as he looked into her eyes he gave a start; she was smiling. In a moment words could not express the joy he felt; life entered him and hope rose in his heart, the woman laughed and rose to her full height. He saw that she was both young and beautiful. She brought out from the folds in her cloak a baby boy, she nursed the child in her arms for a moment and kissing his forehead, she laid him on the ground. Then standing she looked to the man, her eyes shining, and she turned and walked away. Opening his eyes the man smiled; for weeks he had seen nothing but death and, though he never dreamed of her again, he remembered the woman all of his days.
Rising to his feet, he turned with lighter limbs towards the archway of the courtyard. As he approached the familiar stonework a smile crossed his face; he saw before him a new sight; a vast wall of black stone and the heart of the city. He stepped through into the cool shade and movement sounded in the deep.
Thx for taking the time to read it! IAMSANGEL XXX
