The Inner Pain

[kato1265]

I miscarried in October. It's odd how much it hurt to lose a child I didn't even know I was carrying. Somehow, in the process of getting married and moving to a new city - the obvious signs of pregnancy evaded me until I looked back and saw them so clearly.

I keep thinking of my late husband, whom I buried last year - and how strong his mother was - and all the pain she must have felt. If I felt SO MUCH pain at his death - imagine what she must have felt ... I think if I had to bury a child - or even lose another child in miscarriage ... how would I cope?

I'm pregnant again, but only one test showed pos. So far - other tests show neg. I'm so afraid it's all happening again. Too much death. Please, pray for me.

 

[jacquidube]

You poor thing. I am so sorry for your miscarriage in October.
How many weeks are you now?
I am so sorry to hear of your late husbands death. I pray the Lord will bring you His comfort and love.

I miscarried 3 weeks ago at 12 weeks and one before that in August at just 7 weeks so I do know what you are going through.
When did you take the positive test and when the negative.
Love Jacqui. x x x x

 

[kato1265]

You poor thing. I am so sorry for your miscarriage in October.
How many weeks are you now?
I am so sorry to hear of your late husbands death. I pray the Lord will bring you His comfort and love.

I miscarried 3 weeks ago at 12 weeks and one before that in August at just 7 weeks so I do know what you are going through.
When did you take the positive test and when the negative.
Love Jacqui. x x x x

I am in the 8th week - if nothing has gone wrong ... oh - what a nightmare! Condensed rundown (if that's possible for me): I had a tubal in 1994 after my third child was born. When he was four years old, my first husband, who is the father of all three of my children, left severe bruises on my daughters and I went to a shelter. We all went through therapy and I didn't date ANYONE for a good year ... then, started dating a man from work who'd become a close friend to me ... he was awesome and my kids adored him. My family loved him. The counselors loved him. DHS loved him (ha-ha). I was so careful about choosing another mate - and then, two years into the marriage - he was diagnosed with cancer. He died last year. Strange thing is ... I started having dreams about having another child and I really thought it was all connected somehow to the loss of my family and the loss of my 2nd husband ... then, both of my daughters started coming to me with dreams about me having another child. I think I must have conceived the moment I remarried! Anyway - I had no idea I really COULD get pregnant and it came as a shock. My husband and I discussed the fact that I couldn't ever bear him a child - so when this happened, we were very hopeful that maybe G-d was gracious. I missed my monthly February 1st - took a test February 6th and it was POS. Went to the clinic on February 23rd and they said - neg. But, the nurse told me that I am old enough and have had enough children to know when I am preg - and that until I see a doctor, I should behave as if I am preg. She felt I may very well be preg despite the test. She said these tests aren't always accurate ... (???) I have ALL the symptoms - except that I only get sick when I have an empty stomach. My ab is extended and there is a very hard ball rising just below my belly-b. I am afraid that maybe my HCG levels dropped ... I know that low HCG can indicate miscarriage. I'm so afraid of being hurt again ...

 

[bornagain-053184]

iam praying for you sis... i know how hard it is to lose a child you didnt know you were having.. i was 3mos when i found out i was expecting and didnt know it.. now i look back its like how could i have been so stupid but by time i was 19 weeks she was gone.. its hard and still is.. i hope this works out for you... keep me posted

 

[kato1265]

iam praying for you sis... i know how hard it is to lose a child you didnt know you were having.. i was 3mos when i found out i was expecting and didnt know it.. now i look back its like how could i have been so stupid but by time i was 19 weeks she was gone.. its hard and still is.. i hope this works out for you... keep me posted

thank you ... still having same symptoms and no bleeding - no pain ... i've been really praying about this.

 

[jacquidube]

Hello Kato. How are things for you? I miscarried on the 10th of Feb and I am still getting a very faint line on a pregnancy test. Have you done another test recently. I am so glad to hear you are getting all the symptoms of pregnancy. The lump you mention just below your belly button is the baby, I too felt that and evey week I felt it growing too and that gave me reassurance that everything was ok. When baby had died the lump stopped growing. Have you been for a scan yet?
I am thinking of you hun and I am praying for good news for you.
All my love to you. Jacqui. x x x x

 

[kato1265]

Hello Kato. How are things for you? I miscarried on the 10th of Feb and I am still getting a very faint line on a pregnancy test. Have you done another test recently. I am so glad to hear you are getting all the symptoms of pregnancy. The lump you mention just below your belly button is the baby, I too felt that and evey week I felt it growing too and that gave me reassurance that everything was ok. When baby had died the lump stopped growing. Have you been for a scan yet?
I am thinking of you hun and I am praying for good news for you.
All my love to you. Jacqui. x x x x

i was supposed to go on the 28th, but my husband just started a new job and things got tight before it was over. things are already starting to get better, praise to G-d ... but, I had to put off going back to the doctor for the visit since i no longer had insurance coverage and things were tight. i will go next week for sure. the lump isn't getting bigger yet - but i don't recall feeling it at all in my earlier pregnancies. maybe i just wasn't as aware back then - taking it all for granted. i'm not as nauseous as i was - but i'm craving fruits, salad and orange juice like crazy and there are women who actually pay for what is happening to my bosom (ha ha) ... I am going to take a first morning hpt tomorrow morning. if i understood correctly, diluted urine can cause a false negative ... but keeping fingers crossed. it's just that i went through this before and the whole thing was a total shock to me. i am very much afraid.

 

[kato1265]

Hello Kato. How are things for you? I miscarried on the 10th of Feb and I am still getting a very faint line on a pregnancy test. Have you done another test recently. I am so glad to hear you are getting all the symptoms of pregnancy. The lump you mention just below your belly button is the baby, I too felt that and evey week I felt it growing too and that gave me reassurance that everything was ok. When baby had died the lump stopped growing. Have you been for a scan yet?
I am thinking of you hun and I am praying for good news for you.
All my love to you. Jacqui. x x x x

i don't mean to make light of this either ... it is very painful - and i know you must be hurting ... i went through what you have, before and that's why i'm posting here ... i tend to compensate for fear or pain by injecting humor. it's not always appreciated and i am trying to become more sensitive to that. i just wanted to apologize to anyone who might now have understood my manner.