the importance of Virginity?

UnamSanctam · Apr 12, 2012

groups postings said:
Wonder how her church-going "Good Guys" ( like I considered myself when I was single ) look to her now ????

If they would discount her simply because she made a mistake, then they're not "good guys", nor good Christians, no matter how much they go to church.

Larry Mondello · Apr 12, 2012

Originally Posted by groups postings

Wonder how her church-going "Good Guys" ( like I considered myself when I was single ) look to her now ????

UnamSanctam said:
If they would discount her simply because she made a mistake, then they're not "good guys", nor good Christians, no matter how much they go to church.

No, didn't mean how those guys think of her, her losing her virginity outside of marriage/ engagement.
That wasn't my point, so will go back and edit that better.

Doesn't really matter what those guys think, the "shy" or timid ones, the ones "too afraid" to approach women and express interest in them..... Yes, I considered myself one of those guys when I was single...

They likely would never know about that incident, just like a 30 y.o. virgin woman I dated @26, others in the singles group likely didn't know she was a virgin.
It's not something most discuss in public.
She disclosed that fact to me in our 6 mos. of dating where we ALMOST getting engaged.
Didn't pressure her for sex but she felt she needed to tell me she was a virgin and that we weren't going to be having sex until marriage, which I was cool with.

Meant:
Wonder how her church-going "Good Guys" ( like I considered myself when I was single ) look in her eyes to her now ????

Wouldn't a good Christian woman prefer to date a REAL man?
One that wouldn't pressure her for sex, one that would respect her Christian morals, and one that would stay with her and not drop her like a rock if he didn't get sex -- or once he "got" what he wanted ???

quatona · Apr 12, 2012

RoadWarrior said:
Well, that helps explain your position. Thanks. Obviously I agree since that is also inline with my previous statements. However, disagreed on your premise that my initial statement only says something about me.

Where in my posts did you find that premise expressed?

RoadWarrior · Apr 12, 2012

quatona said:
Where in my posts did you find that premise expressed?

It seemed implied. Are you saying it was not nor that it was your intention to allude that it did? Please rephrase what you are attempting to convey.

quatona · Apr 13, 2012

RoadWarrior said:
It seemed implied. Are you saying it was not nor that it was your intention to allude that it did? Please rephrase what you are attempting to convey.

Here´s my original statement again:

IOW it tells us more about your expectations, values, standards, preconceptions than it tells us about the person.

"More - than" is not "only". If you feel the first implies the latter I am afraid I can´t help it.
But then again you may have a point there: everything in your original statement was framed by your preconceptions, expectation, etc. - so it did nothing to describe the person you were talking about. It described your opinion about the person - by means of comparison to your preconceptions, expectations etc.

RoadWarrior · Apr 13, 2012

Isn't that how it always is in communication? What a sender thinks they said and what a receiver thinks they heard? It'd be a whole lot more efficient if we could read minds, but we'll just have to keep doing it the old fashioned way.

Larry Mondello · Apr 13, 2012

Sounded a little nit-picky, one poster going into it so much, IMO.

RoadWarrior · Apr 13, 2012

Agreed. It's discussion of minutia. Must be a slow Friday.

Larry Mondello · Apr 13, 2012

RoadWarrior said:
Agreed. It's discussion of minutia.

Had an uncle who would publicly correct people's grammar at the dinner table.

HIM: "...It's you and I will be going to the park..."
ME: "...You and I are going, great !!"
BROTHER: "....No, Beaver, he's not going...."

selfinflikted · Apr 13, 2012

groups postings said:
Had an uncle who would publicly correct people's grammar at the dinner table.

Good for him.

Larry Mondello · Apr 13, 2012

Originally Posted by groups postings

Had an uncle who would publicly correct people's grammar at the dinner table.

selfinflikted said:
Good for him.

No, wasn't so good.
Everyone hated that part about him.
Even my mom, who knew a lot about grammar as well.

That uncle was a perfectionist who would constantly criticize his kids as well, not only in grammar, I imagine.
Little wonder his children remain distant from him when they grew up.

It's never great to try to intimidate someone in public like that.

selfinflikted · Apr 13, 2012

groups postings said:
No, wasn't so good.
Everyone hated that part about him.
Even my mom, who knew a lot about grammar as well.

That uncle was a perfectionist who would constantly criticize his kids as well, not only in grammar, I imagine.
Little wonder his children remain distant from him when they grew up.

It's never great to try to intimidate someone in public like that.

Him being a jerk aside, I don't see a problem with correcting someone's grammar. Have you heard the way kids talk today? It's no wonder so many students don't graduate high school.

RoadWarrior · Apr 13, 2012

groups postings said:
Had an uncle who would publicly correct people's grammar at the dinner table.

HIM: "...It's you and I will be going to the park..."
ME: "...You and I are going, great !!"
BROTHER: "....No, Beaver, he's not going...."

LOL.

RoadWarrior · Apr 13, 2012

groups postings said:
No, wasn't so good.
Everyone hated that part about him.
Even my mom, who knew a lot about grammar as well.

That uncle was a perfectionist who would constantly criticize his kids as well, not only in grammar, I imagine.
Little wonder his children remain distant from him when they grew up.

It's never great to try to intimidate someone in public like that.

Agreed, but it's also sad. That might be all he has/had. I see it as a defense mechanism. It's annoying. He's technically correct, but he obviously didn't know much about love or leadership if that is how he expressed himself to family. Another reason to think it's sad.

I loved my grandfather, but he was a racist. It didn't come up much, but when it did it was horrible to see that a man I loved very much could be so blind, narrow-minded and hateful. Sad, but like the dinosaurs, he's gone as are many others who thought like him.

Larry Mondello · Apr 13, 2012

Originally Posted by groups postings

Had an uncle who would publicly correct people's grammar at the dinner table.

HIM: "...It's you and I will be going to the park..."
ME: "...You and I are going, great !!"
BROTHER: "....No, Beaver, he's not going...."

RoadWarrior said:
LOL.

Did anyone catch the humor there?

Am old but not THAT old....
The show isn't from some Danger ! Will Robinson/ Dr. Smith timewarp.... both shows I watched after school in reruns in the 1970s... (like Star Trek and Gilligan)
Just a little humor on a Friday...

Wiccan_Child · Apr 13, 2012

groups postings said:
No, wasn't so good.
Everyone hated that part about him.
Even my mom, who knew a lot about grammar as well.

That uncle was a perfectionist who would constantly criticize his kids as well, not only in grammar, I imagine.
Little wonder his children remain distant from him when they grew up.

It's never great to try to intimidate someone in public like that.

Correcting grammar isn't inherently intimidating. I don't even know how to intimidate someone with grammar. Your uncle was wrong for intimidating, for patronising and offending, but not for simply correcting grammar.

Knowledge is always a good thing.

Larry Mondello · Apr 13, 2012

Wiccan_Child said:
Correcting grammar isn't inherently intimidating. I don't even know how to intimidate someone with grammar. Your uncle was wrong for intimidating, for patronising and offending, but not for simply correcting grammar.

Knowledge is always a good thing.

He was very judgmental and said some harsh things to me, as a child, at their dinner table as well, like,
"Where's the fire?" as I was eating too fast and likely didn't have the best of table manners either.

His judgmentalism alienated him from his children, one of whom, as good in grammar as a univ. professor, never excelled in college (dropped out though she was like mensa-smart) and went for long periods (years) without seeing her parents...

Though her dad was at her wedding, it was like one of the few times she saw him.
He didn't walk her down the aisle.:o

Now learn from others this man, a church-goer in a major Protestant denomination, had quite a past as a young man, in terms of having lots of sex in college. No one could call him a virgin, I hear.

That's none of my business and I'll give him a pass on that as people can change, as I've posted.
True, never heard him lecture others on sexual responsibility but looks bad when "Mr. Everything has to be this way or else" isn't so perfect himself...

Getting this thread back to virginity.....

jpcedotal · Apr 13, 2012

hah, with the wording of the poll, I take it English is not the OPs first language...or maybe I am too country.

Larry Mondello · Apr 13, 2012

groups postings said:
No, wasn't so good.
Everyone hated that part about him.
Even my mom, who knew a lot about grammar as well.

That uncle was a perfectionist who would constantly criticize his kids as well, not only in grammar, I imagine.
Little wonder his children remain distant from him when they grew up.

It's never great to try to intimidate someone in public like that.

Funny how he tried that same song-and-dance recently.
A relative told me she'd had enough and called him out publicly, telling him to shut-up, how his words hurt more than help others....
Hopefully, that woke him up.

selfinflikted · Apr 13, 2012

groups postings said:
He was very judgmental and said some harsh things to me, as a child, at their dinner table as well, like,
"Where's the fire?" as I was eating too fast and likely didn't have the best of table manners either.

You consider "Where's the fire?" harsh?

the importance of Virginity?

is Virginity important?

i just don't believe that Virginity is important.

i just do believe that Virginity is important?

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