The Guardian
by Nathan Ael
1.
The old lady slept silently in the hospital bed. Blankets and tubes covered her shrunken and wasted body. Tiny electric lights glittered and strobed along the wall, beating to the drum of her fading existence. Death approached.
In the background, a voice droned. It spoke of the past. It spoke of children, of travels, of failures, of triumphs. It spoke of its dying beloved. The voice didn't pause for response. It settled into a familiar rhythm. A nurse came in, attending to bags of liquid, bags of excrement, bags of flesh, and then left. She never noticed the voice in the corner. No one ever did. Not the family that visited the lady every morning. Not the doctors who peered over her charts, frowning. Not the small flies that crawled on the outside of the window. Nothing at all. But the voice didnt care. It continued anyways.
"I don't really know what to do..." it said. It looked at the woman, the beloved. Dark shadows clawed at the dying womans spirit. The voice became soft, resigned. "What else can I do?" it asked itself.
The dying lady stirred. The voice perked up, alert and ready - and then gave a low and pleasing sound, almost inhuman and not entirely audible yet comforting. The sound sank beneath the world, rippling its surface. But this time the ripples failed to soothe. The lady groaned, twisting in pain. Her eyelids fluttered. The crack of decayed vocal chords crawled out of her throat.
"It's okay," said the voice, repeating a mantra of mercy - the mantra that had always worked. But the woman did not settle. Her eyes opened, revealing gray-scabbed eyes blind eyes.
"Is someone there?" she asked. Her voice had changed. The last time she had spoken was weeks ago, and that could barely be described as speaking. But now her voice was different though softer and weaker, her words carried a clarity that had been missing for years. They held the strength of someone who no longer had anything left to lose. "Is someone there?" she repeated, growing stronger, more alert.
The room went into a shocked silence, echoing with the question. The voice in the corner almost stuttered.
"She couldn't have heard," it said.
The woman's blank eyes grew wide, then patient. "Who's there? I can hear you muttering to yourself, she asked. "Where am I?"
The voice drew closer to the woman. It hesitated. "Can you really hear me?"
The woman's eyes closed, fighting some internal and unseen battle. "I'm so tired," she whispered, drifting. Her eyes worked behind the closed lids, half dreaming. The voice touched the worn woman. But the eyes popped back open. "Who is that?" she asked.
The voice bobbed back, settling upon the corner. "Unbelievable," it whispered. Its tone was both surprised and excited. "Do you remember me?" it asked.
The woman shook her head. "No," she said. Her head continued to shake slightly, searching for a forgotten question. Her head finally settled. "Where am I?" Her eyes, though blind, sought out the voice - staring into the dark corner.
The voice winced. Something was wrong. Was this the end?
"Youre in a hospital. Youre very sick."
The voice paused.
"Don't you remember?"
"No," she whispered.
"Your family visited earlier. Charles brought you blueberry pie. Kate brought her little one." The voice turned anxious. "Remember?"
"No," she breathed.
The voice paced, thinking, worrying, knowing that the inevitable had finally come. It stopped. "Do you remember your name?"
The woman didn't respond. She tried to ignore the voice. She felt dry tears clawing at her blind eyes. "Why?" she asked herself. "Why am I here?"
"Its okay," said the voice, lying. "Everything is going to be okay..."
The woman's glistening eyes opened. "Liar, she stated. But she almost smiled. In the midst of the dark haze surrounding her, somehow, in some unexplainable way, this felt familiar. Who are you? she asked.
"I'm..." the voice searched for the right word. "I'm your guardian."
The woman blinked. "An angel?"
The voice wanted to laugh, but couldnt. Instead, it gave the truth. "No, Im not an angel. But what was the truth? Whatever I am, Im not an angel.
The woman shifted in her bed, searching for a comfortable spot. There wasnt one, but even in the face of certain defeat, the woman refused to quit. The voice felt better. Perhaps the beloved wasnt gone. Perhaps she was still there, underneath the decayed flesh and rotting mind somewhere.
"Let me help..."
The guardian reached out towards the white mass of light swirling around the woman. Dark red threads cut and pierced the woman's spine. A faint arm, invisible to all but the voice, tugged and kneaded the thread - slowly turning it orange, then yellow, then green, then blue. After a few moments, the thread finally rejoined the liquid halo of white flames surrounding the lady. But the flames were dying. Darkness pounded at them. The guardian stepped back.
The beloved breathed easier, and went still. The pain was gone. "That was you?" she asked.
The invisible head nodded. "I wish I could do more."
The woman felt better. She gave a small smile. "You could tell me who I am."
The guardian didn't know what to say. It had waited for this moment its entire existence. And now... everything had gone blank. But looking into the womans eyes past the fog of gray death the memories of life came back.
"I'm probably the only person that can do that A lot of people could come in here and tell you your name. The doctors could tell you a lot about your disease. Your family could tell you a little about your past what little youve told them about it. But no one could really tell you who you are no one except me.
The guardian wished it could say the same about itself. But it had given up that dream long ago, in place of another.
"Let me start at the beginning. It was over 93 years ago, on the day we met.
The guardian smiled, remembering.
That was the day you were born."
2.
The guardian almost laughed at its self. It'd been preparing this speech for nearly a century, and now it had forgotten everything.
"But maybe I should start even earlier. The real beginning began almost a year before I met you, at the moment of my creation. I wasn't born. One day, I simply popped into existence. I have no memories before that moment - none at all. I don't know where I come from, and I don't even have a name. My first thoughts were thoughts of terror. All I knew was that I was alone, and that I was lost. Surrounding me was a strange world, unknown and foreign to me."
The guardian paused, dwelling upon bitter images.
"It began with a blinding white light. And then, the light flickered, faded, and was replaced by a room - a room much like this one, though the bed was empty, and there were no lights. It was very dark. I wandered to the window, dazed. I looked out the window, expecting to see a moonless night. What I saw shocked me. The sun was high in the sky, but burned with blackness. What little light there was came from below me, but not from streetlights. It came from small walking figures - from people. People walking across streets. People in shops. People in cars. Their bodies shone with a swirling light - penetrating everything around them, revealing colors, revealing details."
"I tried opening the window, and received two shocks. First, my hand was transparent. Second, it went right through the glass right through it as if my hand didn't exist at all. I looked down. I was wearing a thin piece of cloth - just the slightest of robes. My feet didn't seem to be touching the ground, and if they were, I certainly couldn't feel it. So I raised my right leg. No problem balancing. I raised my left leg. No problem floating.
The guardian grinned.
And to this day, I don't know how I do it, but then... I flew. I shot straight through that window, and flew over the city - exhilarated and terrified. I don't know if there's blood pumping through my veins or not or if I even have veins but I felt pure energy running through my entire body that night. Below me swirled millions upon millions of lights - millions of different colors, twirling, bursting, showering, flowing... I've never seen anything more beautiful."
"I don't know how long I flew for. It could have been days. I was like a moth to the flame - racing from one point of light to another. But in the end, I had to come back down. I couldn't ignore the fear building in me. I couldn't ignore the blackness all around me - and in me. Though the world around me felt alien and out of place I still knew it. I knew what streets and buildings and cars were. I knew how to read English. I could speak and think. But I couldn't remember who I was. I couldn't remember where I lived, or if I had ever lived. All I could remember was the bright flash of light, and my new existence... Was I a ghost? A spirit? Was I dead? Was I an angel? A demon? Was I in heaven? In hell? Something worse, something better? I didn't know, but I knew I had find out. So I landed in a city, and went off in search of the truth."
"At first, I was afraid to approach people. I hid in an alley for weeks, watching men and women walk by. I didn't sleep. I didn't eat. I just floated there, watching and waiting - terrified of the flaming torches called human beings. Each one carried different colors. Each one had its own pattern and its own... smell. Some darker, some lighter. But each scared me into silent hiding. Yet somehow I was drawn to them. I couldn't hide forever, at least, not yet. I had to know.
Eventually I worked up the courage to close my eyes and run out into the open. I stood there, blind and waiting for the worst but nothing happened. I wasn't consumed in light and fire. Nobody yelled out "ghost! monster! run!" All I heard was the sound of cars passing and people walking. Finally, I opened my eyes. A man was walking straight at me, only feet away. I pivoted, allowing him to pass by me. He never looked at me. He just kept on walking. I stared at his back, amazed. He hadnt seen me. So I called out to him. But he didnt hear me either."
"So I stood there, watching him disappear, feeling defeated. But I tried again. I looked up to see a tall woman walking towards me. I'll never forget her face. She wore a tall hat and a fancy dress, and wore about an inch of makeup. The light fought out through the mask, making her face look like a carved pumpkin Honestly, I froze at the sight of her demonic smirk. I just stood there as she got closer and closer. I wanted to run and scream, but couldnt. And then she walked right through me. Her light swirled around my body like water. Her spirit gripped me. I felt a thousand thoughts, memories, and emotions run through me being scratching and clawing to get inside me. And then, it was over. She had passed on, and I knelt down. I felt numb. I couldnt remember anything that her spirit had told me, and I didnt want to. All I knew was that she hadnt even twitched. She hadnt noticed me at all."
"And that's when I knew nobody ever would. At least, no one living. So I went off in search of others. If I were a ghost, surely there'd be others. Surely I wasn't alone."
"But I was. I wandered from street to street but found nothing. I shouted from light poles. Still nothing. I even went to hospitals, to cemeteries, to graveyards, and anywhere I thought dead people might gather. Nothing. I even found the room that I'd been 'born' into. I waited there for days, for weeks... it was some sleazy motel room dirty and full of prostitutes and cockroaches but still, I never found anything. No bright light. No ghosts. Nothing."
"So I went into a deep depression. I flew away from the city. I gave up on people and ghosts and answers. Instead of looking for light, I leapt into darkness. Animals didn't give off light - they just sort of glowed dimly like me. So I flew into those deserts of blackness - into the forests and mountains and deserts. And there I walked - blinding and numbing myself to the world. I can't tell you for how long. I didn't see the sun or the moon. Every now and then I'd see hunters, but I'd retreat before getting close enough to see. Those were the lost days. The days when I went insane, when I'd given up."
The guardian almost smiled.
"But then something changed all of that."
The guardian paused, his smile growing.
"What?" asked the old woman.
"I heard you scream."
by Nathan Ael
1.
The old lady slept silently in the hospital bed. Blankets and tubes covered her shrunken and wasted body. Tiny electric lights glittered and strobed along the wall, beating to the drum of her fading existence. Death approached.
In the background, a voice droned. It spoke of the past. It spoke of children, of travels, of failures, of triumphs. It spoke of its dying beloved. The voice didn't pause for response. It settled into a familiar rhythm. A nurse came in, attending to bags of liquid, bags of excrement, bags of flesh, and then left. She never noticed the voice in the corner. No one ever did. Not the family that visited the lady every morning. Not the doctors who peered over her charts, frowning. Not the small flies that crawled on the outside of the window. Nothing at all. But the voice didnt care. It continued anyways.
"I don't really know what to do..." it said. It looked at the woman, the beloved. Dark shadows clawed at the dying womans spirit. The voice became soft, resigned. "What else can I do?" it asked itself.
The dying lady stirred. The voice perked up, alert and ready - and then gave a low and pleasing sound, almost inhuman and not entirely audible yet comforting. The sound sank beneath the world, rippling its surface. But this time the ripples failed to soothe. The lady groaned, twisting in pain. Her eyelids fluttered. The crack of decayed vocal chords crawled out of her throat.
"It's okay," said the voice, repeating a mantra of mercy - the mantra that had always worked. But the woman did not settle. Her eyes opened, revealing gray-scabbed eyes blind eyes.
"Is someone there?" she asked. Her voice had changed. The last time she had spoken was weeks ago, and that could barely be described as speaking. But now her voice was different though softer and weaker, her words carried a clarity that had been missing for years. They held the strength of someone who no longer had anything left to lose. "Is someone there?" she repeated, growing stronger, more alert.
The room went into a shocked silence, echoing with the question. The voice in the corner almost stuttered.
"She couldn't have heard," it said.
The woman's blank eyes grew wide, then patient. "Who's there? I can hear you muttering to yourself, she asked. "Where am I?"
The voice drew closer to the woman. It hesitated. "Can you really hear me?"
The woman's eyes closed, fighting some internal and unseen battle. "I'm so tired," she whispered, drifting. Her eyes worked behind the closed lids, half dreaming. The voice touched the worn woman. But the eyes popped back open. "Who is that?" she asked.
The voice bobbed back, settling upon the corner. "Unbelievable," it whispered. Its tone was both surprised and excited. "Do you remember me?" it asked.
The woman shook her head. "No," she said. Her head continued to shake slightly, searching for a forgotten question. Her head finally settled. "Where am I?" Her eyes, though blind, sought out the voice - staring into the dark corner.
The voice winced. Something was wrong. Was this the end?
"Youre in a hospital. Youre very sick."
The voice paused.
"Don't you remember?"
"No," she whispered.
"Your family visited earlier. Charles brought you blueberry pie. Kate brought her little one." The voice turned anxious. "Remember?"
"No," she breathed.
The voice paced, thinking, worrying, knowing that the inevitable had finally come. It stopped. "Do you remember your name?"
The woman didn't respond. She tried to ignore the voice. She felt dry tears clawing at her blind eyes. "Why?" she asked herself. "Why am I here?"
"Its okay," said the voice, lying. "Everything is going to be okay..."
The woman's glistening eyes opened. "Liar, she stated. But she almost smiled. In the midst of the dark haze surrounding her, somehow, in some unexplainable way, this felt familiar. Who are you? she asked.
"I'm..." the voice searched for the right word. "I'm your guardian."
The woman blinked. "An angel?"
The voice wanted to laugh, but couldnt. Instead, it gave the truth. "No, Im not an angel. But what was the truth? Whatever I am, Im not an angel.
The woman shifted in her bed, searching for a comfortable spot. There wasnt one, but even in the face of certain defeat, the woman refused to quit. The voice felt better. Perhaps the beloved wasnt gone. Perhaps she was still there, underneath the decayed flesh and rotting mind somewhere.
"Let me help..."
The guardian reached out towards the white mass of light swirling around the woman. Dark red threads cut and pierced the woman's spine. A faint arm, invisible to all but the voice, tugged and kneaded the thread - slowly turning it orange, then yellow, then green, then blue. After a few moments, the thread finally rejoined the liquid halo of white flames surrounding the lady. But the flames were dying. Darkness pounded at them. The guardian stepped back.
The beloved breathed easier, and went still. The pain was gone. "That was you?" she asked.
The invisible head nodded. "I wish I could do more."
The woman felt better. She gave a small smile. "You could tell me who I am."
The guardian didn't know what to say. It had waited for this moment its entire existence. And now... everything had gone blank. But looking into the womans eyes past the fog of gray death the memories of life came back.
"I'm probably the only person that can do that A lot of people could come in here and tell you your name. The doctors could tell you a lot about your disease. Your family could tell you a little about your past what little youve told them about it. But no one could really tell you who you are no one except me.
The guardian wished it could say the same about itself. But it had given up that dream long ago, in place of another.
"Let me start at the beginning. It was over 93 years ago, on the day we met.
The guardian smiled, remembering.
That was the day you were born."
2.
The guardian almost laughed at its self. It'd been preparing this speech for nearly a century, and now it had forgotten everything.
"But maybe I should start even earlier. The real beginning began almost a year before I met you, at the moment of my creation. I wasn't born. One day, I simply popped into existence. I have no memories before that moment - none at all. I don't know where I come from, and I don't even have a name. My first thoughts were thoughts of terror. All I knew was that I was alone, and that I was lost. Surrounding me was a strange world, unknown and foreign to me."
The guardian paused, dwelling upon bitter images.
"It began with a blinding white light. And then, the light flickered, faded, and was replaced by a room - a room much like this one, though the bed was empty, and there were no lights. It was very dark. I wandered to the window, dazed. I looked out the window, expecting to see a moonless night. What I saw shocked me. The sun was high in the sky, but burned with blackness. What little light there was came from below me, but not from streetlights. It came from small walking figures - from people. People walking across streets. People in shops. People in cars. Their bodies shone with a swirling light - penetrating everything around them, revealing colors, revealing details."
"I tried opening the window, and received two shocks. First, my hand was transparent. Second, it went right through the glass right through it as if my hand didn't exist at all. I looked down. I was wearing a thin piece of cloth - just the slightest of robes. My feet didn't seem to be touching the ground, and if they were, I certainly couldn't feel it. So I raised my right leg. No problem balancing. I raised my left leg. No problem floating.
The guardian grinned.
And to this day, I don't know how I do it, but then... I flew. I shot straight through that window, and flew over the city - exhilarated and terrified. I don't know if there's blood pumping through my veins or not or if I even have veins but I felt pure energy running through my entire body that night. Below me swirled millions upon millions of lights - millions of different colors, twirling, bursting, showering, flowing... I've never seen anything more beautiful."
"I don't know how long I flew for. It could have been days. I was like a moth to the flame - racing from one point of light to another. But in the end, I had to come back down. I couldn't ignore the fear building in me. I couldn't ignore the blackness all around me - and in me. Though the world around me felt alien and out of place I still knew it. I knew what streets and buildings and cars were. I knew how to read English. I could speak and think. But I couldn't remember who I was. I couldn't remember where I lived, or if I had ever lived. All I could remember was the bright flash of light, and my new existence... Was I a ghost? A spirit? Was I dead? Was I an angel? A demon? Was I in heaven? In hell? Something worse, something better? I didn't know, but I knew I had find out. So I landed in a city, and went off in search of the truth."
"At first, I was afraid to approach people. I hid in an alley for weeks, watching men and women walk by. I didn't sleep. I didn't eat. I just floated there, watching and waiting - terrified of the flaming torches called human beings. Each one carried different colors. Each one had its own pattern and its own... smell. Some darker, some lighter. But each scared me into silent hiding. Yet somehow I was drawn to them. I couldn't hide forever, at least, not yet. I had to know.
Eventually I worked up the courage to close my eyes and run out into the open. I stood there, blind and waiting for the worst but nothing happened. I wasn't consumed in light and fire. Nobody yelled out "ghost! monster! run!" All I heard was the sound of cars passing and people walking. Finally, I opened my eyes. A man was walking straight at me, only feet away. I pivoted, allowing him to pass by me. He never looked at me. He just kept on walking. I stared at his back, amazed. He hadnt seen me. So I called out to him. But he didnt hear me either."
"So I stood there, watching him disappear, feeling defeated. But I tried again. I looked up to see a tall woman walking towards me. I'll never forget her face. She wore a tall hat and a fancy dress, and wore about an inch of makeup. The light fought out through the mask, making her face look like a carved pumpkin Honestly, I froze at the sight of her demonic smirk. I just stood there as she got closer and closer. I wanted to run and scream, but couldnt. And then she walked right through me. Her light swirled around my body like water. Her spirit gripped me. I felt a thousand thoughts, memories, and emotions run through me being scratching and clawing to get inside me. And then, it was over. She had passed on, and I knelt down. I felt numb. I couldnt remember anything that her spirit had told me, and I didnt want to. All I knew was that she hadnt even twitched. She hadnt noticed me at all."
"And that's when I knew nobody ever would. At least, no one living. So I went off in search of others. If I were a ghost, surely there'd be others. Surely I wasn't alone."
"But I was. I wandered from street to street but found nothing. I shouted from light poles. Still nothing. I even went to hospitals, to cemeteries, to graveyards, and anywhere I thought dead people might gather. Nothing. I even found the room that I'd been 'born' into. I waited there for days, for weeks... it was some sleazy motel room dirty and full of prostitutes and cockroaches but still, I never found anything. No bright light. No ghosts. Nothing."
"So I went into a deep depression. I flew away from the city. I gave up on people and ghosts and answers. Instead of looking for light, I leapt into darkness. Animals didn't give off light - they just sort of glowed dimly like me. So I flew into those deserts of blackness - into the forests and mountains and deserts. And there I walked - blinding and numbing myself to the world. I can't tell you for how long. I didn't see the sun or the moon. Every now and then I'd see hunters, but I'd retreat before getting close enough to see. Those were the lost days. The days when I went insane, when I'd given up."
The guardian almost smiled.
"But then something changed all of that."
The guardian paused, his smile growing.
"What?" asked the old woman.
"I heard you scream."
) 
