The Great Age Gap Question

sherri · Apr 1, 2006

foadle said:
Hate to tell you Sherri there are 6 between Connie and Rob. What a naughty boy he is

6 years? I would never have known that to look at him. Is he older or younger? lol - and don't tell him I said that.

I dated a guy who was 3 years younger then me once and although I didn't notice anything - he said that he really did at times . Made me feel bad. I guess it depends on the individual.

Beauty4Ashes · Apr 1, 2006

I've never dated younger guys and doubt I ever would. All the guys have been older.

When I was 14, guy was 17

when I was 17, guy was 27

when I was 20, guy was 25

I wouldnt recommend the larger age gaps but it all depends on the person as well.

B4A

lunalinda · Apr 1, 2006

I'd date younger, but only when we're both in the higher end of the maturity years (he's 26 and I'm like 30 or something). But that doesn't mean I'd date him when he's 19 while I'm 23. It's the same age gap, but at different maturity levels. Besides, I already dated a 19 year old when I was 22 anyway and that was a horrible decision of mine. He was too immature (though he hid that fact quite well when luring me in) and I wanted a man, not a boy pretending to be one.

So, I'd prefer an older man, but not too many years older. I'd still tolerate a younger man, but not too much younger and only when he himself is out of that silly teenager phase and ready to actually have a committed relationship. No offense to teens out there, of course. But when a guy is younger (I've witnessed) he tends to see girls as social partners that he just happens to be attracted to and that maybe he'll kiss and do puppy love stuff with until he gets bored and wants a new one. Thanks, but no thanks.

JeremiahJ · Apr 1, 2006

Beauty4Ashes said:
when I was 17, guy was 27

How did that one work out for you?

Beauty4Ashes · Apr 1, 2006

JeremiahJ said:
How did that one work out for you?

Lets just say I realized it wasn't right and couldnt possibly lead anywhere good, and ended it by various avoidance techniques.

He wasn't a christian and he had a baby with another woman....enough said. :o

I know this may make me sound bad but....IN my Defense.........

.........I was in my senior year of highschool and he was one of the first guys that ever told me I was beautiful. I had always heard the opposite before mostly from mean spirited boys in elementary/junior high shcool. I didn't have the highest self-cofidence and was shy. He was smooooooth and always knew how to say all the right things.
But I wasn't all that naive, don't get me wrong. I was often told by others that I was mature for my age. It's not like he was just taking advantage of some poor young sucker, though it may sound like that. I was fully aware of the circumstances.

I wouldnt advise anyone else to date someone that age when they are 17. But I don't consider him a mistake at all. It's not like I slept with him or anything. It was just part of my journey through life and growth as a human being.

B4A

Blank123 · Apr 1, 2006

IMO its really up to the individuals to decide if such and such an age gap is to big for them.

I think for me personally I am usually more attracted to guys that are a bit older than me just because they are usually more mature than guys mine own age. but there is a cutoff age of course - if the guy's old enough to be my father I think I'd be very uncomfortable going into a relationship with him. thats just me though. I know of one couple in my church that are twenty years apart in age and they seem quite happy together.

none the wiser · Apr 1, 2006

Eh...never really thought about setting an age limit. I don't really come into contact with people that aren't 18-22 irl. My age limits are 2-3 years younger to I guess about 10 years older. The one time I dated someone older than me, and not my own age, I felt like he was talking down to me constantly. He was only 22-23 and I was 18-19. Not a good experience. I'm open to these ages so long as they treat me like like an equal, and I am able to treat them as such.

JPPT1974 · Apr 1, 2006

little_tigress said:
IMO its really up to the individuals to decide if such and such an age gap is to big for them.

I think for me personally I am usually more attracted to guys that are a bit older than me just because they are usually more mature than guys mine own age. but there is a cutoff age of course - if the guy's old enough to be my father I think I'd be very uncomfortable going into a relationship with him. thats just me though. I know of one couple in my church that are twenty years apart in age and they seem quite happy together.

I am attracted to guys
That are older too
As well as for them being more maturer
But also with more wisdom!

foadle · Apr 1, 2006

sherri said:
6 years? I would never have known that to look at him. Is he older or younger? lol - and don't tell him I said that.

I dated a guy who was 3 years younger then me once and although I didn't notice anything - he said that he really did at times . Made me feel bad. I guess it depends on the individual.

He is older.
Really age isn't the issue it is the maturity. Still I think I would feel odd dating someone younger - though I did once. He was almost exactly a year yonger than me. I felt like his mother sometimes - but he was rather immature

~HopeFloats~ · Apr 1, 2006

To each their own..

I have dated a guy who was 11 years older then me and it was just big of a gap for me..

So for now I say 10 is my limit as I am almost 30...:o

NoCompromise · Apr 2, 2006

I will probably not marry anyone more than 8 years older than me. There is a man that I work with who is at least older than my father, and he flirts with me all the time. He calls me 'myname-love'.

UGGH...It is really disconcerting...I do not want to be mean...But even if I was attracted to him physically and personality wise, he is old enough to be my father...UGGHH

Mskedi · Apr 2, 2006

Matches in maturity, goals, and morals are more important than matches in age. I've seen people be happy who had twenty years between them, and I've seen people be happy who had birthdays only a few months apart. I really don't think it matters at all.

foadle · Apr 2, 2006

Mskedi said:
Matches in maturity, goals, and morals are more important than matches in age. I've seen people be happy who had twenty years between them, and I've seen people be happy who had birthdays only a few months apart. I really don't think it matters at all.

right in every regard

*Starlight* · Apr 2, 2006

I think it depends on the people But generally I guess that a smaller age difference is better, because there's more in common between both people... And I don't think it matters who is older and who is younger.

foadle · Apr 3, 2006

Yeah the hard thing is when there is no single christian guys around your age in the area you live - that is hard (requires a bit of faith really)

PrincessFromOz · Apr 3, 2006

foadle said:
Yeah the hard thing is when there is no single christian guys around your age in the area you live - that is hard (requires a bit of faith really)

Yup, yup, I'm hearin' you sister!

There's like only one single guy my age at my church (and he ain't my type)... the rest are married, or otherwise attached. Oh well! If God can create a universe out of nothing, I'm sure he can cope with finding me a husband!

intricatic · Apr 3, 2006

There are no single girls in Florida who I would consider persuing. So I'm moving to Ohio.

But as to the age question.... I think a few years never hurt anyone. The age gap is important because of generational differences. It can be more important to one person, and less to the other, it really just depends on the person.

For me, I could never date someone +/- 4 years or so.

Beauty4Ashes · Apr 3, 2006

intricatic said:
There are no single girls in Florida who I would consider persuing. So I'm moving to Ohio.

Good luck

JeremiahJ · Apr 3, 2006

Beauty4Ashes said:
Good luck

I second the sentiment.

NoCompromise · Apr 4, 2006

I would definitely stay in Florida if I was you...

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