It can look the same from the outside. The difference is from the heart.
1. I want to do something but you don't want me to and I don't want to or can't stand up for myself so I just won't do what you tell me not to.
2. I want to do something but you don't want me to. I love you and listen to your opinions. I want to please you and fulfill your needs and wants. I respect your intelligence, wisdom, training, expertise, giftedness, experience, and or intutiveness which might be greater than mine in this matter. I agree with your assessment and so don't do what you have convinced me not to.
3. I want to do something but you don't want me to. I love you and listen to your opinions. I want to please you and fulfill your needs and wants. I respect your intelligence, wisdom, training, expertise, giftedness, experience, and or intutiveness which might be greater than mine in this matter. I'm not convinced but decide that I would rather respect you and your opinion than be selfish, so I won't do what you are asking me not to.
#1 is letting you walk all over me.
#2 is respecting you enough to listen to you.
#3 is loving and respecting you enough to put your desires ahead of my own.
All three look the same from the outside. I might do #1 on Monday, #2 on Tuesday, and #3 on Wednesday and your friends could conclude that I always let you walk all over me. I might do #1 every day and you might think I'm doing #3 every day. Unless we communicate, you will only know what I am doing and not why.
