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The 5 Love Languages
- Thread starter wiseguide
- Start date
Mine has always been quality time, for as long as I remember. I never talked much to people outside my close family, and assumed my family was "better" and more godly than most people in the world.
I like to spend a lot of time with people just conversing about different things. I don't understand people who can't seem to do that. They seem impatient.
My friend told me he used to date someone whom he bought flowers for once. But she sort of rejected them or complained about them for some reason. And he somehow knew, at that point, that he could not see her again after that. The rejection was too much for him. We weren't talking about "languages" per se, but I think that his language may have been Gifts.
I am attracted to women who seem to have different languages from me. Particularly Acts of Service. I don't understand how this language translates into love, but it is certainly something that I could easily deal with. I like helping people.
I've even heard women say that a man shoveling the driveway was a form of "foreplay." I've also heard women say they like to help the host when they are invited to a party. Maybe these are AOS people.
I like to spend a lot of time with people just conversing about different things. I don't understand people who can't seem to do that. They seem impatient.
My friend told me he used to date someone whom he bought flowers for once. But she sort of rejected them or complained about them for some reason. And he somehow knew, at that point, that he could not see her again after that. The rejection was too much for him. We weren't talking about "languages" per se, but I think that his language may have been Gifts.
I am attracted to women who seem to have different languages from me. Particularly Acts of Service. I don't understand how this language translates into love, but it is certainly something that I could easily deal with. I like helping people.
I've even heard women say that a man shoveling the driveway was a form of "foreplay." I've also heard women say they like to help the host when they are invited to a party. Maybe these are AOS people.
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- Jun 25, 2003
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I dont think I would be just one of them, but a mixture of all. I want to read the book at some point to better understand but as for right now, Iw ould think I would fall under the catagorywiseguide said:
Words of Affirmation
Quality time
Physical touch
Acts of service
Gifts
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Sascha Fitzpatrick
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Mine are Physical Touch and Quality Time.
B's are Words of Affirmation and Gifts.
I think that's where you have to be able to compromise and realise, that even if nothing happens for you if you were to have it, to respond in the way that makes the other feel 'loved'. So, I think any mix can work - provided you are humble enough to be altruistic and respond as they need you to.
That takes work! It took me ages to understand that B didn't really feel all that much love when I sat and cuddled him for an hour (he'd get cramps, whilst I would be going, oh wow, I love this, blah blah blah). BUT he loved it when I'd tell him how much I appreciated his fixing up the rubbish, taking out the cat litter, etc etc (go figure, I used to think, it's just THANKING you!). Once I had it worked out in my head that he responded those ways, it got easier and easier to incorporate it into my normal 'showing B love' behaviours.
Sasch
B's are Words of Affirmation and Gifts.
I think that's where you have to be able to compromise and realise, that even if nothing happens for you if you were to have it, to respond in the way that makes the other feel 'loved'. So, I think any mix can work - provided you are humble enough to be altruistic and respond as they need you to.
That takes work! It took me ages to understand that B didn't really feel all that much love when I sat and cuddled him for an hour (he'd get cramps, whilst I would be going, oh wow, I love this, blah blah blah). BUT he loved it when I'd tell him how much I appreciated his fixing up the rubbish, taking out the cat litter, etc etc (go figure, I used to think, it's just THANKING you!). Once I had it worked out in my head that he responded those ways, it got easier and easier to incorporate it into my normal 'showing B love' behaviours.
Sasch
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- May 12, 2004
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Apparently if I were to rank the five, like Fishie did, it would be:
Words of Affirmation
Physical touch
Acts of service
Quality time
Gifts
Words of Affirmation
Physical touch
Acts of service
Quality time
Gifts
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- May 12, 2004
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Not at all, that's often how it works out.wiseguide said:
Someone who likes complimenting people finds someone who likes being complimented.
Someone who likes hugging finds someone who likes being hugged.
Someone who likes writing notes finds someone who likes notes being written.
It's partly God's will and partly that people are drawn to those who can fulfill what they need to express, not just what they need expressed to them.
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"Quality time" people look forward to doing things because they will be spending time around certain people. (Time with friends. Not looking to find a mate.)
If they go out dancing, they are content to just sitting and talking instead.
They aren't distracted by people or things (ie telephone) when they are with their friends.
Can spend hours on the telephone with someone.
Have lunch with a friend for no special reason. Might even be offended if the other person has a purpose to the meeting.
If they go out dancing, they are content to just sitting and talking instead.
They aren't distracted by people or things (ie telephone) when they are with their friends.
Can spend hours on the telephone with someone.
Have lunch with a friend for no special reason. Might even be offended if the other person has a purpose to the meeting.
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I thought there was a good scene of a "time" moment in the movie Mystic Pizza. The smart girl who had been babysitting the little girl had started to fall in love with her father. The man had led her on in thinking that he was either divorced or separated from his wife. When she found him back with his wife, she was crushed.
She was at home with her sister (Julia Roberts) and her sister had her arm around her while she was crying. Julia started to get up to go fix her some tea and she said, "No please just don't go." So Julia just stayed with her while she cried.
It's as if she didn't want to experience anyone else leaving her again, even if just for a moment.
She was at home with her sister (Julia Roberts) and her sister had her arm around her while she was crying. Julia started to get up to go fix her some tea and she said, "No please just don't go." So Julia just stayed with her while she cried.
It's as if she didn't want to experience anyone else leaving her again, even if just for a moment.
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invisiblebabe
He will restore the years the locust hath eaten
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I'm totally quality time. Also, I'm acts of service/gifts in the sense that when someone really goes out of his way to do something for me or be with me, I feel he must like me 
Words help for me, but don't do much unless I believe what is said. Physical touch is a good way to scare me off.
Words help for me, but don't do much unless I believe what is said. Physical touch is a good way to scare me off.
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I'm not a gifts person. I sort of scolded someone once for giving me a small Christmas gift. Maybe because it was a "practical" gift. I see Christmas as a time to spend with family and friends. I don't need gifts. I usually just give gift certificates and receive them, so what's the point?
But I love Christmas cards, which I suppose are sort of a gift.
I liked gifts a lot more when I was a kid. Not big, expensive toys. Just little things.
But I love Christmas cards, which I suppose are sort of a gift.
I liked gifts a lot more when I was a kid. Not big, expensive toys. Just little things.
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New Creation
*Practise Promiscuous Charity*
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I'm not a big gifts person either, but I'm seeing that my man is. He likes to give me gifts and I almost wish he wouldn't since I tend to lose and break things....
I have, however, seen how pleased he is when I buy things for him and I love to make him that happy.
My biggest thing is quality time and after that it's words of affirmation followed by physical touch, acts of service and lastly, gifts. I'm willing to bet that physical touch is higher on the list in general for men than women.
I have, however, seen how pleased he is when I buy things for him and I love to make him that happy.
My biggest thing is quality time and after that it's words of affirmation followed by physical touch, acts of service and lastly, gifts. I'm willing to bet that physical touch is higher on the list in general for men than women.
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I'd be willing to be that it's the opposite. Men like to touch, but it's not in general as much an expression of love as it is for women.New Creation said:
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- Jun 25, 2003
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IM going to agree with you there.FatBurger said:
Im reading the book right now. Is tarted it yesterday and I am almost half done. I am VERY much physical touch and words of affirmation. And I realize that moreso now that I have actually read the book.
I can spend all the time in the world with Josh, but if he didnt offer words of affirmation to me, or touch me (in a non sexual way of course) then I would be left feeling empty inside.
And specially since we are further apart then I would like, words of affirmation really have to be used, since we cannot show love through touching when we are away...
Um yeah...
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