thank you letters

[reformedfan]

I am hand crafting a thank you letter for my garbage men. Week after week they tirelessly haul away our garbage, it smells awful, and they do it rain or shine.

So I was wondering, do phrases like, "you guys are the best thing that's ever happened to us", "It's you guys who hold our family together", and "if it weren't for you guys, we'd cry all day long" strike you as too falsely sincere, too over the top & effusive?

What kinds of things do you all put in the garbage men letters you send out?

Also, is it traditional to give one big present for all to share, like a case of Coke, or many little gifts, like each their own handkerchief?

 

[ConstanceB]

How delightfully caring of you to remember your Waste Management Mobile Transport & Disposal Personnel. In answer to your one-for-all or each-his-own question, just make sure you don't get one big handkerchief for all to share. Plus, the hankies are difficult to remove from one's front pocket what with wearing those industrial strength gloves. If your WMMTDP wear disposable masks, they may not bother with hankies anyway, but might . . . uh . . . never mind.

While your sentiments don't strike me as over the top or insincere, I temper that admission by confessing that I write those statements on items I stick back in the mailbox along with the necessary "Return to Sender, Addressee Unknown".

I always look to the obvious, do some reverse social engineering, as it were, when in a quandary such as yours. You state that these public servants deal with your trash, which by your own confession is malodorous. Did it ever strike you to award your WMMTDP with an effort to deodorize your trash? For instance, (a) Forget Pampers and use a diaper service. (b) All green trash can be composted, and in turn you can grow your own vegetables and fruit so you eliminate packaging from frozen & canned "food", all of which will start to stink. (c) You can do away with meat & uncompostable kitchen waste if you clean your plate, remembering that there are starving children in China. (d) Darn. I have a lot more ideas, but that about covers it for odors.

Here's what I personally have done for our own WMMTDP: It expresses a grateful spirit, is personal & acts as a "handmade card", and yet is useful. I bought pairs of those great industrial strength work gloves. Then I loosely stitched the thumbs together, so that when you lay the two gloves flat it looks like a "card". On the backs of each glove, I embroidered (or you can glitter-paint) a lovely monogram for each WMMTDP; inside, I tied at the center fold (basted into the attached thumbs) a cut-to-fit piece of vellum or parchment, and in calligraphy to match the monogram, wrote,

We know we're in good hands with you.
​

I hope this is helpful. cb​

 

[LITB]

Garbologist is a better title for them

 

[reformedfan]

screaming outta the chute!

 

[Richard]

How about Sanitation Engineer .... Even though I am encapable of spelling

 

[ConstanceB]

Garbologist is a better title for them

Look, I wrote a bunch. One little sentence isn't going to convince anybody.

 

[ConstanceB]

How about Sanitation Engineer .... Even though I am encapable of spelling

spelled perfectly correct

not so lucky with this :o

Anytime you'd like someone to correct your spelling and point out your character flaws, I'm happy to do it.

 

[Flames]

Do a song for them.

reformed man Presents: Real Men of Genius
(real men of genius)
Today we salute you, Mr. Garbage picker upper
(Mr. Garbage picker upper)
While you collect our trash, the world becomes a safer place. (safer place yeah!)
Sure there's danger- baby diapers,spoiled food, rotten milk... and the kitty litter? completely part of the job.
(Watch out now!)
Your keen instincts tell you what is trash and what is lawn decorations. And if that doesn't work, it doesn't matter, it was by the trash.
(Its your lucky day now!)
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, guru of the trash, because we all know, when the going gets tough, the tough call the garbologist
(Mr. garbage picker upper)

 

[ConstanceB]

Hey, Flames! Songs . . . I love the idea!

Muzak Muck:
Instrumental only. Some John Tesch tune.
(Generic)

Garbage Rap:
I see the man comin
An he ain jus a bummin
He pickin up the trash
Hope he fine some cash
That why you is the man
You bad at mah trash can
(by Snoop Dog)

Curb Country:
Ain got nuthin but mah big ol Texas hat
But Ah think that Ahm a bag a chips an all that
Cuz Ahm the trash man
An baby yuh know thet Ah can
Smell a rat a mahl away
Cuz I know mah trash okay
An that man you bin seein
He aint gonna weein
No awards fur smellin clean
Hes the danges bigges rat I ever done seen
(by Crooks n Dumb)


Pick-up Punk:
HEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY DONT COME IN HERE WE SPREAD THE GARBAGE ALL OVER THE FLOOR YIYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH AND WE ROLL IN IT BECAUSE OUR BRAINS ARE AS MUSHY AS THE AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH CREAMED CORN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HEFTY BAG BUT OUR EXTENSION EEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYAAAAAHHHHH CORDS DON'T REACH THAT FAR AAAAIIIIIIII WE LOVE GARBAGE WE ARE GARBAGE AAAAAAARRRRRRR WE DONT NEED GLOVES AND WE WANT TO SMELL YOUR MOLDY YUCK OOOOUUUUHHHHH
(unpublished, by Johnny Rotten)

 

[reformedfan]

this thread is just so fulla talent, I hope it doesn't choke random passers by!

 

[cracked_pelicans]

Do a song for them.

reformed man Presents:

reformed man? Who's that.

Oh! rf, I didn't know your hubby was so talented.

 

[ConstanceB]

this thread is just so fulla talent, I hope it doesn't choke random passers by!

Well, if people are gonna choke on my words (goodness knows I do it all the time), they should be random passers by instead of random stickers and stayers.

 

[DailyBlessings]

Actually "garbologist" is already taken by another group, social scientists who study human culture through what it throws away.

 

[Daisysqueaks]

I have a friend who knows the time that the collectors of the refuse (is that pc? LOL) come and waits with cold cokes in hand and they appreciate him!