Texting at the table...

[Tamara224]

... Is it always rude to text while you're in a social situation such as at a restaurant or a party?

This guy says if it is, he doesn't care:

I Will Check My Phone At Dinner And You Will Deal With It




What do you all think?

 

[broken_one]

I do it occasionally, but it's usually an anxiety-based relief (i.e., distraction) so I don't really fault others for doing it either. However I do think it's definitely bad manners in an ordinary setting.

 

[Paulie079]

I disagree with him. I think with social media in general (yeah, I do lump text messaging into this now too), there are a lot of benefits to it but there are some downsides as well. We're becoming a generation that is almost constantly focused on some type of digital media screen and less on the real world around us. It's our way to escape what's going on around and oftentimes, can get us out of dealing with a situation that we really don't want to address. I think social media has also led to friendships and relationships becoming much more shallow. There is greater value to having an actual audible phone conversation than there is to a text message conversation and there is even greater value to having a face-to-face conversation. I don't think it's one of those things where no one should ever pull out their phone to text during a dinner meal, but in general you can spend 20-30 minutes aside from your phone to actually enjoy the company of those around you. Otherwise, there isn't a point to being there with them anyways.

 

[Inkachu]

If you're on a date, the cell phone shouldn't even be around.

If you're with a group, and you aren't involved in the conversation, I think it's fine. But if you have to keep stopping things to check your stupid phone, I'd call that very rude.

 

[crishmael]

I don't think it's always rude, but I usually only do it in response to an important text or if it's really pertinent that I send out something.

 

[Paulie079]

I should mention too that if you're a guy hanging out with a bunch of your buddies and you're texting your girlfriend (or just a girl in general) the whole time, you all of a sudden become that guy and life won't always be very easy for you I'm not the type to let something like that go If I ever end up being that guy though, I'm prepared to take out all that I have dished out in the past

 

[waves16]

Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I think it's rude. I wouldn't DARE pull out my cell phone at the dinner table if my mom was there. If I was on a date or hanging out with just one or two other people, I wouldn't have my phone out either. Of course, exceptions can be made if it's really important or you NEED to read a text, but that's different than having your phone in your face the whole time.

That being said, if I'm with a big group of friends having dinner at a casual restaurant or just hanging out, I would probably be checking my texts under the table, and so would my friends. The only time it becomes a problem is when it interrupts the conversation. If somebody is just going to have their phone in their face or texting non-stop the whole time, what's the point of hanging out?

 

[Stravinsk]

... Is it always rude to text while you're in a social situation such as at a restaurant or a party?

This guy says if it is, he doesn't care:

I Will Check My Phone At Dinner And You Will Deal With It




What do you all think?

Generally, I think it's rude because it says "the person on the other end of that text is more worthy of my attention than you". If I recieve txt while I'm in a social situation (not just in a social setting where I might be alone - but out with friends or something) - I'll txt back that I'm busy and will get back to them later - provided it's not an emergency or something super important.

 

[Schneiderman]

IMO it's rude, for most occasions at least. Definitely at a sit-down dinner around a table. At a bar with the guys, not as much, but still rude if you do it to excess.

I have no interest in going to dinner with a bunch of people who will spend their time looking at their phones. If that's what they want to do, they don't need me there. And if that's what I intended to do, I would just stay home.

 

[SneakerPimp53]

It seems like cell phone etiquette is still being hammered out. On a date, IMO, if you're playing with the phone it would seem to imply the person isn't of much interest to you. With a group of friends I don't really see texting as a big deal. I hate it when people in the gym are using their cell phones, and I don't really know why.

It seems like an area where older and younger people are going to disagree on etiquette because how we perceive the technology is different. I didn't have a cell phone when I was in high school, didn't know anyone that did either. When I was in the 8th grade my father was issued one by the Army, remember using it to order pizza once and thinking it was the most awesome thing ever. Especially back then very few people had them at all. Trying to explain that experience to a 14 year old today would be pretty difficult. It's like trying to explain our first experiences with going on the internet to someone of that age bracket. I suspect strongly the author here is correct, gradually the way that younger people view the issue will come to dominate etiquette. I also think a younger perspective might even be more objective. My parents basically view cell phone etiquette as being no different from the etiquette that governed the use of land lines back when they were younger. I'm inclined to believe my own views on cell phones are somewhat shaped by that etiquette as well. Younger people have the advantage of experience of using the technology is social situations throughout their lives and probably a better grasp of when their use is okay and when it creates awkward situations.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

I've been on a date and we both used our cell phones to answer texts... neither of us cared. I went on quite a few dates with her actually, and then I just got bored with her... lol

ETA: actually, we'd even talk about the texts we'd receive... *shrug* idk, maybe I live in a crazy world or something lol

 

[mina]

I think it's rude unless you are having a major personal emergency. People will say anything to excuse their bad behavior.

 

[toastface_grillah]

Meh. It depends on who I'm at that table with. Tuesday night, I went to a biweekly potluck that my small group does. One of the girls had a birthday that night, so we had cupcakes and a round where everyone told a story about how they'd first met or interacted with her. Much laughter, much closeness, and much love. I'd've never dreamed of taking my phone out of its carrying case.

But last Sunday night, a friend of mine was having a sendoff. It was her last night before returning home to CA, so she invited me out with her and some friends from her bible study. Seriously, she was the only one at that table who even looked my way, much less talked to me. Once I gave up trying to be part of the conversation, I pulled my phone out and stayed on it until I left.
Politeness is a two-way street. If you're going to make a big deal out of somebody checking their phone at the table, try including them in the conversation first.

 

[Squeakers]

I find it considerably rude. Unless it is an emergency, I don't want to see someone handling a phone while we're trying to enjoy a meal.

 

[Wren]

Generally, I think it's rude because it says "the person on the other end of that text is more worthy of my attention than you". If I recieve txt while I'm in a social situation (not just in a social setting where I might be alone - but out with friends or something) - I'll txt back that I'm busy and will get back to them later - provided it's not an emergency or something super important.

I completely agree.

 

[Thunder Peel]

I think it depends on who you're with and what you're doing. Personally, I don't answer texts or calls when I'm with someone unless it's an emergency or unless they are also checking their phone, like in a casual setting.

People are important to me and I want them to know that when I'm with them they're my sole focus and that time is theirs. I can't imagine texting or calling someone else on a date, especially at dinner or while spending time together to in a quiet or private setting.

 

[Amber.ly]

I've been on the other end of the table where the person I was with was pulling out their phone every 3 minutes. It was very annoying. And hard to have a conversation with someone who goes "hmmm... what?"

Then again, I've sat around a table with multiple people at it and I would be texting for work or setting up plans with someone. But I told the people I was with what was going on and I kept it to a very minimum.

I think it's just as rude as taking a phone call when you are with someone. In a group it gets a bit more dicey but still I would frown on using your phone at all unless necessary.

 

[Blank123]

it depends on the people involved and the situation. Christmas eve dinner with the folks? rude. Casually hanging out at Mcdonald's with friends? not rude.

and its important to keep in check even in more casual scenarios. If you're more interested in whats on your phone than the people you're actually with, yeah thats rude too.

 

[MacFall]

Depends on whether it is important or not. If I'm having dinner with someone and someone else comes up to me and says "Hey, I need to talk to you, it's urgent" then I'll talk to them. But I would expect them not to interrupt me if it isn't. Likewise, if someone texts me an urgent message, I'll excuse myself from the conversation and respond. If they just say "hay whats up" I'll ignore them in favor of my company.

 

[EyesOfKohl]

I think it's rude. I don't like it when you're sitting down with someone and they pull out their cellphone and start texting...

I don't even use a cellphone.