Testimonies

[RED that's ME]

This is a thread for the members of the Baptist/AnaBaptist to share their testimonies. No debates will be allowed and will be removed promptly. This thread is ONLY for the Baptist/AnaBaptist members to post in.

We ask that all members respect this.
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[TexasCatholic]

I have dated a former Catholic, and she didn't talk about her Catholic upbringing much. What she did tell me was that she never once enjoyed going to church until she went to a non-Catholic one. In her case a non-denom church with SBC roots.

-James

 

[BT]

I was raised Catholic. I was an altar boy, and in highschool I inquired about joining the priesthood. I left Catholicism at the age of 17. I was saved at 19

 

[Sola Gratia]

I do not post on CF very much, but I would like to comment on this question.

I was born and raised Catholic. One day the hand of God seemed to lead me to a study of scripture that led me to fall on my knees in repentance , and give God my life.

I tried to adapt that experience to my Catholic worship. But the more I read scripture, the less and less agreement I had with the Catholic church . After a period of time I realized that I disagreed more than I agreed with the Catholic doctrine .

Over the years I have moved between some different local churches .but I have always considered myself a Baptist at heart. I am more recently connected with a reform Baptist fellowship that follows the early reformation confessions.

How has this affected my walk? There is only one phrase that sticks out in my mind.

By grace are ye saved and not by works ,lest any man boast.
I no longer rely on the works of myself or others to bring me to Christ . I boldly approach the throne of God with my prayer and confession as I am now righteous in Christ .

I do not fear my eternity , I know that I know that I know that there is a place prepared for me in heaven .

Blessed assurance Jesus is mine, Oh what a foretaste of Glory divine !

 

[daveleau]

My dad was a RC who stopped going to church about 5 years before converting to being a Baptist. He had been attending RCC for about 25 years. He was taking my older (half) brother (his step son) to church at my brother's request, and instead of making 2 trips, my dad decided to stay for the sermon. About a month into this practice, my dad accepted the Lord as his Savior for the first time. He became a devout Christian and was ordained as a deacon, although he did not stay in the Baptist denomination (we moved and a family friend was a pastor of a Penticostal church in the new town). He died 4 years later.

This is not meant as a slight on anyone, it is just a factual telling of my father's journey. I am not making any covert statements, so please do not take it in this way.

 

[Cright]

Hi everyone.

I was raised in the Catholic church (not just RC, my mom's family was also of the Maronite and Malkite rites). My mom read me the bible Many, many nights before bed and always did her best to teach me. For this I thank her!! (yeah mom!) My mom is a lil sadened that I'm not Catholic anymore, but doesn't believe everything the Church teaches herself! hmmm ... anyway...

I was saved young. I accepted Christ as my personal savior around 8 or 10, I don't remember exactly as I was so young.. I'll have to ask mom on this, she'll remember better. But, that's when I realised the sacrifice Jesus made for us on the cross, and asked him for the first time to forgive my sins.

I didn't live the Christian lifestyle the way the bible tells us to however... later (in 99) I started co-teaching catechism for 7th graders. I started feeling guilty because I wasn't even doing the things I was teaching the children. But I also started getting upset because there were also things that I didn't BELIEVE that I was teaching them too. As soon as the semester was over, I left it up to the more experienced, more believing teacher to continue on w/ the students.

In 2000 I made my first visit to a non-denominationl church and learned some prospectives that I didnt' know existed outside of my head! ...but still not much...

Oct 2000 I moved home to Michigan and began going to another non-denom church. I learned more about the bible but not enough. I didn't feel like I had the whole story.

In Sept 03 I met my bf who took me to 4 different churchs, together we learned (well he knew more than me and taught me ALOT) about them. Finally we started attended Woodside Bible (independant baptist doctrine) on a regular basis from Dec/Jan time frame... and only in the last several months have I been able to say that I'm Baptist. I had too much reasearch to do before then.

I will be baptised as a believer by immersion next month to follow the example of Christ, to show my love for him as my savior ... what a wonderful, but small thing he asks us to do after sacrificing his life for me!

*the above post is not ment to offend/upset, just my experience... if anyone is upset by my post.. please PM me. Thanks!

God Bless,
Carina

 

[BT]

I will be baptised as a believer by immersion next month to follow the example of Christ, to show my love for him as my savior ... what a wonderful, but small thing he asks us to do after sacrificing his life for me!

*the above post is not ment to offend/upset, just my experience... if anyone is upset by my post.. please PM me. Thanks!

God Bless,
Carina

That's a great testimony. Congratulations! Welcome to the family! The Lord will bless you as you follow Him in believer's baptism!!!

Way to go!

 

[BT]

In the interest of avoiding a debate and getting the topic far from what it was intended, I shall finish my story as thus:

I started getting a host of questions. I still believed that the answer was there and that I was not sufficiently learned in Catholicism to know the answers. I took my questions to several priests, Orthodox, and otherwise, I also spoke to several nuns. My questions could not be answered and there were no, or at least flimsy, explanations on many of them. I became convinced that Catholicism was not a true religion.

I was naturally devestated and turned my life in other directions. I became involved in the occult and witchcraft. When that did not suit my fancy I became a satanist. My life went on like this for a few years. I was miserable and felt tossed to and fro. I came to a stark realization. How could there be a Satan if there were no God? If there was indeed a Satan there had to be a God, afterall Satan was a creation (angelic) of God and not vice versa. This issue plagued me.

One afternoon I was walking through a park when I came across a small group of Christians speaking testimonies and singing. I made a smart alek remark (believe it or not ) and one of them chased me down. He witnessed to me, and I argued with him. He got more than he expected since I was more than able to argue "pro-Catholic" doctrines to him.

... (this is where I skip a bunch of stuff for time and peace)

I became a Christian the next summer. The church I attended was a non-denominational, or what we call a "full Gospel" church. I was there for six months or so and I began to be lonely. It was a small church and I was the only teenager there. I left and started attending a Charismatic church. I remained there for another six months or so and by the end of that period I was three times as confused as ever. There were things going on that I could not reconcile with Scripture and that they could not defend (tongues, prophesy, slaying in the spirit etc. )

I started attending a Pentecostal church. This was much more easy to understand. They hold the non-normaltive view of tongues and were able to explain where this idea came from. I met my wife in this church, we were soon married and moved away so that she could finish university.

In our new city we found a Pentecostal church and attended. Prior to this we had started asking some tough questions, we continued this in our new church and found that the answers we got were pretty good. We noticed a trend towards music that we were uncomfortable with ( .... I skip stuff here too)

We left the Pentecostal church disgruntled. We did not attend any church for awhile, and a few months later my wife noticed a newspaper buletin about a Baptist church near us. (This is where the story gets really cool)

I had asked my Pentecostal Pastor what the Baptists believed a few years back. He answered, "Pretty much the same as us." There was a common joke that we were told (not by the Pastor).

Joke

Did you know that in the rapture, the Baptists go first?

- The Bible says, "The dead in Christ rise first."

End Joke

The point of the joke was that the Baptists were not as exciting as the rest of them.

My wife decided to try the church anyway, and one Sunday when I was at work I got an exciting call from her. She called and immediately exclaimed, "You have GOT to go to this church!! The Pastor is incredible. I've never heard a message like this before. He totally went off!!" (He was doing a series on apostasy )

I worked Sundays regularly at that time so I didn't get a chance to check out the church, but before I knew it my wife was pretty much a full-time visitor there.

Finally my work schedule got turned around and I had Sundays off. The first Sunday that I attended this church, I was stunned. I heard more Bible preaching in 45 minutes there than I think I had heard in a year at other places. This guy used the Bible like there was no tomorrow (tongue in cheek). I left that place floating. My spirit was fed like never before.

The Pastor came to our house for a visit a little while later. I knew he was coming so we got the list of questions ready. I say this in all truth. He answered every single question on the paper FROM THE BIBLE. I was stunned. I think I was so used to being disappointed by answers that I didn't even expect this to be a possibility.

Over the course of the next few weeks I thought up some more questions and emailed them to him. Questions about all kinds of things, doctrines, traditions, denominations. The Pastor sent me replies every day. Sometimes his answers were 4-5 pages long.

The hunger and desire I had when I was first saved came back to me 10 fold. I had finally found the church where the Lord wanted me. I became so involved with the church that you would have had to beat me with a stick to get me to leave half of the time.

I still was not comfortable calling myself a "Baptist". I truly didn't know what it meant. So after a year or so of attending the church I sent the Pastor an email about, "What is it that makes you a Baptist?" He sent me another long email about the seven Baptist distinctives, showed me that they were all Biblical, and surprised me. The surprise was that all of these "distinctives" were things that I already believed in. So I sent him another email to inform him that , "Hey! I AM a Baptist!!"

That is how I came from the Catholic Church, to the Baptist Church.

Sorry it's so long

 

[pressingon]

This is the testimony I have posted in my blog:

My Old Self....

• Grew up in a Catholic family, to wonderful parents.
• Attended Catholic school through 6th grade, at which time I grew tired of the small classes and oppressive teachers. Felt that if I were ever going to make it through high school, I needed to get into public school to get accustomed. Also starting to wonder what the point of church was.
• Switched to public school system. Made some great friends -- none of which believed in God. Couple that with too much evolution propaganda, I lost faith completely. Felt that I was "too smart" to believe in God, felt that was only for fools and weak-minded individuals.
• Graduated and attended college.
• Fell in love with a wonderful woman.
• Attended church for the first time since high school (Southern Baptist). Heard a lot of sermons that were directed RIGHT AT ME (well, it seemed so at least).
• Finally figured out that I was the fool (at 22 years old). Gave my heart to Christ, and have been striving towards knowing Him more each day ever since.

The New Me!

• Married that wonderful young woman I fell in love with, who got me back in church so I could hear the truth of God's Word!
• Got more involved with my church. Found out that serving Christ can be pure joy.
• Chosen by my church to be a Deacon (although I KNOW it was God's call, not theirs).
• Volunteered to teach Sunday School to young adults (college / career).
• Discovered a wonderful book by Charles Colson, "How Now Shall We Live". I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT! It finally helped me overcome any doubts I had about God's Word being 100% true (primarily in regard to the doctrine of creation and the fallacy of evolution which so long ago helped me lose faith).
• Became a father! Learned to love as God does (well, as much as a human can). Got a much better understanding of what God's love for us (as his children) must be like.

Anyway, that's where I've been, and where I am now. If there's one thing I've learned and want to convey, it's that God has a plan, and it's perfect. I've often wondered what it would have been like if I had given my heart to Christ when I was young, but the more I think about that, the more I realize how things in my life would have been different. Yes, my life may have been right with God sooner had I been saved at an early age, but I guarantee you I would have never developed the appreciation for my faith that I have now.

Don't worry about the would haves and could haves. Allow yourself to appreciate the amazing gift of salvation and the perfection of God's plan.

I guess, looking back, I was influenced more by doubts about the point of Catholicism more than anything in my decision to leave the church. It seemed to me to be a ritualistic and traditional kind of faith, more than anything -- simply something families did because they always had. Couple that with the lack of strong role models in the faith that I had (it seemed to me that, to most Catholics, faith only mattered on Sundays and holy days, but the rest of the time they did whatever they wanted) and increasing faith in a humanistic, "we can understand everything, I'm smarter than this God stuff" worldview... well, my faith didn't have a chance.

It was amazing how God caught hold of me again once I started attending a Baptist church. The difference was, to me, night and day. Faith seemed important to people at the Baptist church where I was saved. It was a personal, lived out kind of faith... a walk the walk kind of faith of the kind I had not experienced before. To see the difference Christ made in others lives was amazing to me. I'd NEVER seen excitement about Jesus in a church before, but there it was, plain as day. As a result, I got interested in God again, for the first time in years. Not too long after I started attending, I started to realize that all of those "excuses" I had for doubting God didn't hold water. Sermons convicted me... I felt the weight of my sin, and the emptiness of not having a relationship with Christ. It wasn't long before those walls I had erected through my own pride to hold out Christ came tumbling down... I gave my life to Him.

After being saved, it was hard... I tried to keep the peace in my family by attending Catholic services with them when I was around them... to no avail. I remember the Christmas service of 1999, midnight mass... where the priest preached about some things the pope had outlined as goals for the new milennia. One of those was to reach non-Catholic Christians. I tried to talk to my family about that... what was so wrong with non-Catholic Christians that Catholics needed to reach out to them? Needless to say, the discussion went poorly... Mom crying, Dad yelling at me to back off.... I almost left home on Christmas eve over the whole ordeal. We haven't talked about faith since -- a sad thing if ever there were.

Anyway, the experiences of my youth and of dealing with a Catholic family have left me with some of the same conclusions about Catholicism as others in this forum:

1. It's highly traditional, and integrated into family culture. You leave, and it's like rejecting your own family.
2. It's so highly traditional, it's my perception that some (if not most) Catholics don't have a personal relationship with Jesus.
3. I disagree with a number of Catholic doctrines, as I fail to see where they're Biblical.
4. Catholicism most certainly is not for me.

Anyway, that's my story, for the most part. It's not intended to bash Catholicism (so please don't take offense), but simply to explain why I am now part of a Baptist church after having been raised Catholic.

 

[Mary_Magdalene]

i think most born-again believers who were once 'catholic' have had the same general salvation experience as me:

born in catholic church
baptised as infant for salvation
in catholic church for awhile
confessing to a priest for forgiveness
praying to dead people
no personal relationship with Christ
somehow God found us and brought us to Truth and Salvation
now born again
left catholic church
read the bible for themselves and finally start to see Gods truth-not man's.

now...
praising God for giving us a new life and a wonderful relationship with the Living God!!

 

[leah-bygrace]

Well let's see...

I grew up in a catholic family.

IMO, in retrospect it was more tradition than anything else. I went to catechism until 10th grade. I remember thinking once during confession as a child, "Why do I have to tell this priest my sins?, I'm glad I don't have any big sins because there's NO WAY I'd tell this guy". I also remember as children, we would pick a certain priest because he always gave the same easy pentance: 30 Hail Marys. And that's the way it was...I'd tell him some sins, and he'd tell me exactly what to pray to get forgiveness. Good deal.

Then, about that time, someone at my mother's job started witnessing to her. She eventually came to Christ and we stopped going to the RCC. Eventually we went to a nondenominational church in town. I remember thinking how weird it was from the catholic mass.

When I was 15 my family moved from California to Florida. Then my mom decided to go to Benny Hinn's church (yeah, I know ). I never got used to it, I just knew something wasn't right and it pushed me away from church all together.

Once I got to college I never went to church. My boyfriend at the time was supposedly baptist, but we never once went to church in the 3 yrs we were together. The relationship ended very badly and at 21 I was making up for lost time- partying, living a very dangerous secular lifestyle. I was at the point where I was drunk at least 4x a week, doing things that I'm ashamed to mention , but that I will forever regret.

Then, completely by the grace of God, I met this guy. Now, if I went into complete detail about how many times our paths almost crossed and how we almost didn't meet, and all the changes that have occured directly because of it, you would know just how miraculous our meeting was. We believe our meeting was a chance to escape literal death.

My current bf and I met through a mutual friend We started to hang out because we both wanted to party hard and drink life to the fullest. But as we started to get semi-serious about each other, we slowly stopped going out to party all the time. On Easter we went to church together for the first time and it marked a major turning point in our relationship. We started going to the largest Southern Baptist church in Orlando. It was a Tuesday night "metro service" where I felt the holy spirit move through me. The band was performing a song and these words just hit me like a ton of bricks: "Like a rose, trampled on the ground. You took the fall, and thought of me, above all." It was at that moment that I finally understood what Christ had done for me. Tears just started flowing and my hands kept shaking. I believe that is the moment when I truly started my relationship with Christ.

One thing I didn't mention above is that my current bf is a PK. His father is a Southern Baptist minister. I never would have stepped foot in a Baptist church had it not been for my bf. Now I can't imagine ever going to a church that doesn't teach as much about the bible as a baptist church does. I realize that so much of what I was taught as a child is not verified bibilically. I've learned more in the past 2 years in a baptist church than I have my entire life. My walk with Christ is FOREVER changed!

 

[OracleX]

We have a thread asking how you came to the Baptist church. I thought it would be nice to have one that was for people to record thier testimony on how they came to Christ. What was your life before Christ? What is your life like now after you met Christ?

Lets encourage each other with the miracles that God has done in our lives.

 

[RED that's ME]

Great idea!

Even though I have been raised in a Christian home with Christian parents at the age of 5 years old after hearing my pastor preach on a Wednesday night I came home and talked some more with my mom and using scripture explained to me what it means to be a christian. I prayed and ask Jesus to be my Savior and Lord. I know my testimony is not as dramatic as some others but I know with all my heart that I am a christian and that I know 100% if I died I would go to Heaven. I am not perfect but I am trying daily to learn and live for Christ.



........

 

[Cright]

My mom read the bible to me everynight and said prayers w/ me before bedtime. I knew Jesus was the son of God and that he died for our sins, I also asked him to forgive me for my sins ... but I think I may have been 8-10ish (4th or 5th grade) before I realised that it was really for me ... and how horrible of a death he choose to accept for me too. So I don't really know what age I was saved, but I was young too.

My more intresting story is how I came to understand the Bible and learn the importance my role is as a member of the body of Christ, and that I have responsibilities to serve the lord and set examples as a Christian woman in the world today. bummer for me that this concept didn't go hand and hand w/ salvation as it does for most adults... but came much later.

God Bless,
Carina

 

[GreenEyedLady]

My husband Matt and I accepted the Lord years ago. When we lived in Germany the Lord lead us to a church there and we were baptized in 1997. When we came back from Germany to St. Louis we could not find a church that we felt comfortable in. We would go to church for the holidays but we backslid and just lived life, believing in Christ, but not producing any fruits and not living the way God wanted us to live, comfortable in our sin.

I was 6 months pregnant and found out we were having twins, 2 days after buying a 3 bedroom home. Our oldest daughter first words on hearing that we were having twins were "now I'll NEVER get any attention!"

We were really scared and thought.....how in the world are we going to handle this? I cried and laughed all the way home. The pregnancy went well and we were told with each ultrasound that we were having twin boys. On May 25, 2001 I went into labor. Cheyenne Rose came out first and my husband said "there better be a boy in there!" Seth Isaiah was pulled out by his feet 5 minutes later. They were both exactly 6 pounds 11 ounces each. It was a wonderful labor.

After a couple of months we got used to having twins, double everything. Double stroller, double cribs, double high chairs, swings. This was sorta crowed for a family of 5 in a 3 bedroom home but we were making the best of things. As the twins grew we had a ball watching them play, hearing their first words, watching the differences between the two of them. Seth was so much more demanding than Cheyenne. Cheyenne was always just sorta laid back, never cried much. She was a good baby. We went through the Parents as Teachers baby proofing checklist and the doctor’s checklist. Latches on doors, check, and outlet covers in ever room, check, window blind cords tied up, check, household chemicals lock up, check. We were really cautious about safety because we new twins were double trouble! The twins turned 1 and had a big party. They loved their cake and loved the attention.

June 12, 2002 I lost my sweet little girl to the inner cords of a window blind. As I breathed into her lungs and prayed, she was cold and not there. I begged God PLEASE don't do this....I cannot do this.

 

[GreenEyedLady]

The ambulance and the police came and immediately took Cheyenne. As they were working on her in the ambulance I was on my knees in the street begging God “please, I will do anything, don’t take her away from me.” My husband went in the ambulance and I was left at home to speak to the police. They looked at me suspiciously……asking me all kinds of questions, then it dawned on me, I was being interrogated later to find out that many police are not educated on the 5 ways a child can die from window blinds. I answered them and kept telling them, I had the pull cords tied up. After pleading with the police they let me go to the hospital. My neighbor got me in her car and I kept telling her, Lisa, I know she is gone. I kept asking God……….why.

At the hospital, they made us wait in a small room. By this time family started to show up waiting for a miracle. The doctor came in and did not have to say a word. I could tell. I told him, she is gone isn’t she? He said “Yes.”

As I held my lifeless daughter in my arms…….I told God, “You better help me. I cannot do this.” I didn’t want to let her go, I told the nurse, “I just want to stay here in this moment forever.” I didn’t want them to take her. They did, and I left.

I came home and the house filled with people until dawn. I made phone calls. Telling people that my daughter died. I called my good friends in Germany…who were Baptist missionaries that Cheyenne had died.

The next day Pastor Bragg from Lafayette Bible Baptist came over and prayed with us. He had received a call from our friends in Germany to get over to our home immediately. Praise the Lord for friends who are in the Lords perfect will! The first thing my husband said to him was “ I need to hear the WORD.” Pastor Bragg gave us this verse. 1 Chronicles16:11 “Seek the Lord and His strength, seek his face, continually.” When he left I laid down in my bed….I asked God “why?” WHY me? What happened? What did I do wrong? Please……..ANSWER me! I NEED answers or I am not going to make it!

At Cheyenne’s wake over 300 people showed up. I could not believe how many people were affected by this. The morning of the funeral, I held her little hand…I said I love You. To her.

As the services started, Pastor Bragg gave a great sermon. 14 people raised their hands to be saved. God said “See…..there are 14 answers.” I thought to myself……how many souls are worth my daughters death? God said “how many souls are MY Son’s Death worth?” That is when I stopped asking WHY? And started asking “what now Lord?”

We obeyed God’s calling us to Lafayette Bible Baptist Church. The first Sunday we walked in my husband immediately threw his arms around a man I didn’t know and was sobbing. Matt sat down and I asked him “who was that?” He said “That was the guy driving the ambulance the night Cheyenne died!” He said “When I asked that man…..what the heck do I do? He looked at me and said “Pray.”

A few weeks passed my husband and I could barely talk to each other without crying. I tried to encourage him. I told Matt, It could have been worse, Someone could have taken her, she could have been tortured.

My husband and I to stopped trying analyzing and just obey God. We attended church regularly and continued mediating upon God’s word.

Nov 2002 we established Parents for Window Blind Safety to help educate American parents on the truth about corded window treatments. As soon as I found out that the inner cord could be pulled out of the window blinds I searched the internet for information. The first person I found was a mother in Alaska who lost her daughter 2 weeks before Cheyenne went to heaven. As we shared our circumstances, which were identical, the Lord lead me to search more for parents who have lost their children. The year our daughter died we found 12 families that lost their children to window blind cords. This year we have found 15 families who have lost their children the average age being 4 years old. Over 600 children have died from the cords of a window treatment. Since we lost Cheyenne over 25 children have lost their life and many parents have joined our group for support and to help educate other families all over the United States.

As I make these phone calls to parents who are distraught, I am able to give them hope thought Christ Jesus. His word alone, is what heals, comforts, protects, and strengthens. I am able to tell them it was not their fault, they are not alone it is more common than they think.

Many parents have told me that they cannot get the horrible images out of their head of their childs’ lifeless body hanging from a cord. I talk to them about 1 Chronicles16:11. I tell them to imagine Christ and his face. Seek his face continually. When praying, seek his face, what it looks like how it appears to you. The first time I did this without holding back I was astounded at how so real and so much Christ is there. I mean right there……right here…listening to our every word.

I pray eagerly for those parents, any parents who have lost their child and not known the Lord and HIS strength. How do they get thought the horror, the grief, the despair, the lonyess, and the burning in their hearts? When you lose a child you have to make a decision, to get bitter or get better. How long can a parent who does not have Jesus go down the road of “getting better?” I have met many parents who have made this decision. The ones who have decided to get better and are still on that road of getting better are seeking the Lord. Those who have chosen to get bitter have either given up hope and lost their strength, or quickly made the decision to blame God and be the victim. Daily asking WHY? WHY? WHY ME ????



My seven year old daughter Maddie accepted Christ as her saviour In March 2003. Would she have accepted Christ so early if Cheyenne was still here? Would we be in church if Cheyenne was still here?

My husband was called to preach in May 2003 another reason why Chey had to go another answer I was given from God.

This past year over 40 people have been lead to Christ. I cannot tell you if my daughter was still alive today, if these people would have been reached. Most of these people were influenced by our testimony of our daughter’s life and death.

One couple were facing charges in Bovina Texas because the prosecuting attorney and the chief of police had never heard of inner cord strangulation. Many mothers who are now apart of Parents for Window Blind Safety called the police and the DA and the newspapers telling them how they lost their children. The charges were dropped against the couple. Would that couple be in jail if Cheyenne was still here? Another answer from the Lord.

I checked our web statistics yesterday to see how many people have come to our website to educate themselves. Since May 2003 over 90, 000 people have been to the website and viewed more than just the first page. I said to myself, Lord, Are you telling me that number 90, 000 is added to the many other answerers why Cheyenne had to go? Not only has the Lord answered me, but given me more answers than I could ever imagine possible.

 

[OracleX]

Great idea!

Even though I have been raised in a Christian home with Christian parents at the age of 5 years old after hearing my pastor preach on a Wednesday night I came home and talked some more with my mom and using scripture explained to me what it means to be a christian. I prayed and ask Jesus to be my Savior and Lord. I know my testimony is not as dramatic as some others but I know with all my heart that I am a christian and that I know 100% if I died I would go to Heaven. I am not perfect but I am trying daily to learn and live for Christ.

Everybodies testimony is dramatic as everyone who is saved has experienced miricales of God.

 

[OracleX]

OracleX's Testimony - Forgiveness, Anger and Rage.

After reading many of the threads about anger, rage and forgiveness I have decided to tell part of my life story and testimony. Much of my life was a struggle with all three of these things but ended up in victory over anger and rage God granting me the gift of forgiveness.

As with everyone else here I had no control over what family I was born in to. The first five years of my life I was bounced through a dozen foster homes and spent little time with my birth family. The time I did spend there was horrible to say the least. The only memory I have of my father was him taking his belt and hitting my face with it for putting water in the sand box after being told not to. The only memory I have of my mother is her screaming as he beat her. The other few memories that I do have are basically feelings of terror. When I was five I was adopted by the people I call my parents. They picked me and they knew that I was one messed up and hurting little boy. They showed me love that I had never seen before. They also introduced me to a God that I had never heard about before. At the age of seven I remember praying with the pastor at our church to become a Christian. My walk with God had begun.

Although I love my parent dearly now, it was not always that way. For years and years I hated my mother because of one mistake she made. My parents were very brave in that they knew that I was abused before I was adopted but they did not spare the rod. My parents still spanked me when I needed it, and unfortunately, on occasion when I didn't. There was a time that I was out with my Mom at a friend of hers and I embarrassed her some how. Well when we got home she took me upstairs and grabbed one of my Dads belts. She did not realize that it had metal studs all down it. As it hurt like heck I tried to get away, but she was mad as heck and tried to keep spanking me. The result was bruises all over my bottom and my lower back. It was at this point I started to hate my Mother. She had done to me the very thing that they were to have rescued me from. Oh how strong I hated her. Over the years this hate for her grew. There were many times that she would exaggerate or lie to my Dad about something I had done. This caused many fights between my Dad and I. My Dad did not take kindly to my saying she was lying.

At the age of 18 I had enough and ran away from home. It was during this time that God taught me forgiveness. It was also during this time that God took away almost all the other distractions in my life, including the girl that I had dated for the past five years. God slowed life down to a crawl so that He could get my attention. During this time I spent a lot of time reading the Bible and praying. Although I first prayed the prayer of forgiveness when I was seven, it was at this time in my life that I committed my life to God. It was also the time in my life where I saw God as the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It was at this time that I realized I had a heavenly Father that loved me more than anything. He would not beat me, He would not despise me, He would not call me names or put me down. He loved me so much that He sacrificed His own Son for me. It was at this time that I fell in love with my heavenly Father. It was at this time that Jesus became my closest friend. It was during this time that the Holy Spirit became the One that comforted my and guided me. This time was and still is one of the high points in my relationship with God. During this time I spent a lot of time focusing on my salvation and what God had done for me. While doing this I learned about Gods forgiveness and in turn the Holy Spirit gave me a gift of forgiveness. As a result of this I forgave my birth father for all that he had done to me. I forgave all the foster families that I was angry with. Then I forgave my adopted parents. It was at this time that I realized that they were my salvation on earth.

As I mentioned above, we don't have a choice in what family we are born in to. It is also true that we have no choice but be born in to a sinful life. And just as my adopted parents didn't have to adopt me, they did. They did knowing that I was a messed up boy and I was not going to be an easy road. They went to court and 'paid' the price to have me become part of their family and in doing so saved me from miserable life. God did this for us too. He chose us even though he knew we were 'messed up' and that we will fail Him over and over. He sent His Son to die for us and pay the price for us to be part of His family and not only that but also saved me from eternity in Hell. As God showed me this I not only forgave my parents but also began to love my mother and father. Even though they were not perfect parents (don't think that there is such a thing) and they made mistakes along the way, they saved me from a miserable life. I actually appreciated all that they had done. I praised God for them and thanked Him for them. I ended up calling my parents and asking for forgiveness and moved back home. Now life was not smooth by any means when I moved home, but things were pointed in the right direction. It is the same as our salvation. Just because we are saved and have chose to follow God, doesn't mean that we don't have to still live with the consequence of our sins.

Then came Bible College. This is where God gave me the ultimate test in forgiveness. While at Bible College my parents gave me a call one day, they wanted to meet. It sounded serious and it was. When we met they handed me a piece of paper that that was cut out of the newspaper. The title was, 'Sister looks for long lost brother,' and I was the long lost brother. I admire my parents to this day for giving me that piece of paper. I can't imagine how hard that must have been. They had spent the past 16 years hiding and protecting me from my past only to turn around and give me the key to opening it. In the article there was a phone number to call, it was my sister's home number. After going back to the college (was living at the college) I prayed alone and then with a friend. Then I called the number and then over then next three months God blew me away. My sister lived about five minutes from the college. Over the three months that I spent in contact with my sister I found out a lot of what happened when I was younger. She was older than me and so had clearer memories than I did. What I found out confirmed what I remembered and she told me of much worse things. My sister was not as lucky as I was and taken out of that family. As a result she ended up with three kids (the first one when she was 16) from three different guys and was engaged to a forth. She was living the miserable life that my parents saved me from. I knew that God was testing me because I had forgiven all that my birth father had done. And through the strength that only God can give I passed the test, I did not take back what I had forgiven. In doing this, my sister saw that there was something different with me and wanted to know what it was. As a result she learned what forgiveness was and what Gods forgiveness was. She became a Christians and shortly afterwards, so did her fiancé. With the help of my adopted sister and friends from school she was placed in a caring church that could help her and her fiancé turn their life around.

God had blown me away. My birth sister was now a Christian and her life was turning around. I was thankful that I had made it through the test and had not failed. But that was when God gave me the next test. That is when my birth father called and asked to meet me. It was one of those things that hits you in the stomach and takes away your breath. But in a moment of strength I agreed. Again I prayed and prayed and prayed with friends for strength to make it through the test. I had forgiven this man for terrible things that he had done but I was unsure if I could look him in the eyes. Well the meeting happened and he asked me if I hated him still. I pictured myself talking to God and asking Him if He hates me for the things He has forgiven me. Then answered out loud, 'No, I have forgiven you.' The impact it had on him was huge. It was the last thing he was expecting. God had helped me past the test again.

After about three months I had to break contact with my sister because it was draining me and although she did not like to 'lose' me again she understood. I kept tabs on her for a couple years and last I heard she was still growing in her faith and doing well.

So at this point in my life God had granted me victory over an unforgiving spirit. But I still had two more things that were major problems in my life, anger and rage. The anger and rage that I had was horrible. It was the same rage that my birth father had shown to me. It is the sickest of all kinds of rage. It is the kind of rage that you totally get lost in and while in it you almost don't know what you are doing. Not only that, you rarely or never express it to someone who can protect them self or 'tell' on you. It is done thinking that you will never get caught or have to pay for what you have done. To know that you have these kinds of feelings inside of you is troubling to say the least. After identifying them and understanding them a bit it changed my life. I didn't want to get married and was totally terrified about the thought of having children. Just the thought of me doing the same thing that my birth father did to a child of my own gave me nightmares. I also kept to myself as much as possible. Because I was prone to flying off the handle and didn't know how to control it I couldn't be around people, especially those that I cared about. When I did fly off the handle I would break things and abuse my own body. I bruised my ribs and really hurt my legs by punching them. If figured it was better than breaking more stuff and much better than taking it out on someone else.

I spent over a year in counseling to help me work through my feelings of anger and rage. Although my counselor was not able to 'cure' me of these feelings, he was able to help me understand them more. He taught me some of the things that I needed to do to get control of my anger and rage. The two most important things I learned was first, what are my warning signs that my anger is turning in to rage, and second, what environment or things get me angry. So over the next several months I took note of all the things that got me angry. Video games were a big one. I loved computer games but really hated losing. That was almost an instant ticket to rage. Since I knew that certain games could easily tick me off I stayed away from them or stopped playing them as soon as I felt that I was getting angry. Although I still flipped out a few times, for the most part it worked. I was able to do the same with the other things that caused me to get angry. I was starting to feel victory over anger and rage. But there was still one thing that I wasn't sure of. What about the anger and rage that my birth father showed me? I hadn't dealt with that yet and still was concerned about it. What would I do if I had a baby and it got me angry? I couldn't answer this so I started to think of a way to learn limits with some thing that was innocent and could not protect them self. The answer was a little ball of fur called Shadow. She was a tiny little black kitten and fit the profile of a baby. Over the span of about two months I struggled with anger and rage like I had never had before. Poor Shadow got hit and punched and kicked. I am convinced that God was with that poor kitten because even though I was learning my limits at her expense, she would always cuddle up to me at night. So many nights I would cry myself to sleep because of her and what I had done to her. It was as if she was forgiving me and not willing to give up on me. Well the day came when I kicked her to hard and broke both her back legs. I took her to a friend's place who was a doctor for help and he said that he couldn't do anything for her and suggested that I put her down. I started to cry like I have never cried before and never have cried since. Here was this kitten in my arms who was still affectionate towards me after all I had done to it. She was purring and licking the tears that fell on my hand even though what I had done left her rear legs broken. I tried to give her to my friend but she wouldn't go so I laid her on the ground and watched as put her down. I was torn in two. It was at that point that God had opened my eyes to those feelings of anger and rage. It was at that point that I felt hope that God would grant me victory over those feelings.

Over the next several months God slowly freed me from those feelings of anger and rage. Now today I have two black cats that have never been hit out of anger. Today I also have a wonderful two year old daughter that I have never raised my hand against. I no longer fear anger or rage. God has granted me the victory over them. Not only has He granted me victory, but He has giving me the gift of patience. I still get angry every once in a while, but I know my limits and know what to do to keep from going past them in to rage.

I pray that this will help those out there that are struggling with forgiveness, anger and rage.

 

[GreenEyedLady]

Wow, that was incredible post oracleX. You really opened up your heart on here. I think many men and women will read this and be able to learn about thier own anger and rage and how to deal with it. It will be a blessing to many I am sure
Have you ever thought about counceling people with rage and anger?
GEL

 

[Cright]

Oracle and Greeneyedlady...
you both posted very emotional testimonies, thank you for sharing.
It's amazing to see the wonders God has worked in the lives of those willing to let him.

God Bless,
Carina