Telling the truth sets me free.

[Superman117]

I finally got the guts to stop being a coward and tell someone at school that I was a bisexual male.

Guess who I told ?


Lauren, the beautiful, slightly tomboy-ish girl I've had a crush on since October 2003.

I was reading SAVAGE NIGHTS and asked her what she thought of the character (main one, that is) : John, a bisexual filmmaker who is really into boys but falls in love with a girl named Laura and is honest about his sexuality but fails to let her know he is HIV +.

She said she thought the character John was a scumbag for not telling the girl he had HIV. But she said she liked honesty in a guy. I told her that, while I am STD-free, I do have a lot in common with John.
I am bi.

I also told her I planned to write a story about it and publish it at school. she said she thought it was very cool.

I find myself thinking of her. Most bisexual men cant be honest about their sex lives with the women in their lives. I finally told Lauren and she was cool with it. She also happens to have a boyfriend she has been with for 20 months.

I was so happy that she was not horrified or disgusted by my revelation. I wanted to kiss her.
I settled for a handshake and promised to talk to her later.

I love that girl.


I've been on a lot of dates with girls lately.

I went out with Tyesha yesterday and also with Nancy. Today, earlier, I went out with Christine.
I had a nice chat with Darren, the boy I kind of like.


Out of all those people, Lauren is the one I like the most and by far the most interesting. Wanna know how i met her ? I was running away from a flaming homo when I was still in denial about my bisexuality. I was very upset when she approached me and we started talking.

I can't wait to see her again !!!! I like this girl a lot and wonder if we can have a relationship.

what do you think ?

 

[Living4Him03]

It seems you've got yourself in some sticky situations if you ask me what I think. Aside from your bisexuality, you are getting yourself into a sticky situation with liking a girl who is obviously already taken. CAN you have a relationship? Yes, some form you sure can. WILL it be glorifying to God and meaningful? Likely not if you take it to the romantic level. I say in that situation be happy with what you have. Dating is not just a trivial thing, you want to date someone whom you could possibly marry and you definitely want to respect when someone is not available to date and wait on God's timing for whatever His will is for you. And I do have a comment about bisexuality. How will you choose whom to be with, man or woman? If you are still bisexual in marriage don't you think it would be difficult for you NOT to get involved with someone outside the marriage? You are still young and you have a lot of maturing and "finding yourself" that you have yet to go through. I would pray about the situation as often as possible and leave it in God's hands. God Bless!

 

[Susan]

My advice would be to forget about indulging yourself either way, no matter what you feel, and devote yourself to celibacy. If you're bi, you honestly can't be there 100 percent for someone of the opposite gender, and you may find someone else and be tempted to adultery later on.

If you cannot be completely and unreservedly devoted to your wife (or husband if you're a woman), forget marriage entirely and devote yourself to celibate purity.

 

[MusicMelOU]

Contrary to what some people may believe, I don't think that being bisexual (having attractive feelings for both genders) is the sin; it's what you do with those feelings that count. I see your situation more as temptation to sin. Just as we all get into situations where we may feel compelled do something sinful, such as telling a lie or passing false judgment on someone else, the temptation is not what condemns us, but the giving into temptation. Everyone on this earth is tempted, including Jesus when he was on Earth. I feel that God has allowed you to be in this position because he wants you to see your need for Him in repentance and faith.

Keep following Christ, and don't let any Christian try to condemn you for your temptations, because, well, we're all tempted in different manners, and yours may just happen to be the temptation to engage in homosexual activities. How does the verse about that go? "Don't remove the speck from your brother's eye until you remove the plank from your own"? I won't tell you if marraige/dating and all that stuff would work out even with these temptations; that's God's answer, so keep praying to Him about it. He'll tell you exactly what you need to do, as long as you have faith that He will.

I'll keep you in my prayers as well!

 

[Susan]

Contrary to what some people may believe, I don't think that being bisexual (having attractive feelings for both genders) is the sin; it's what you do with those feelings that count. I see your situation more as temptation to sin.

Great post. I totally agree.

 

[kidsminister]

My advice would be to forget about indulging yourself either way, no matter what you feel, and devote yourself to celibacy. If you're bi, you honestly can't be there 100 percent for someone of the opposite gender, and you may find someone else and be tempted to adultery later on.

If you cannot be completely and unreservedly devoted to your wife (or husband if you're a woman), forget marriage entirely and devote yourself to celibate purity.

This is my first post here, so sorry if I seem a little presumptious in jumping in and bumping this thread back up, but why do you think faithfulness more difficult for bisexuals than it is for heterosexuals?

 

[Susan]

This is my first post here, so sorry if I seem a little presumptious in jumping in and bumping this thread back up, but why do you think faithfulness more difficult for bisexuals than it is for heterosexuals?

No, it's not presumptuous.

IMHO, it depends what gender you lean toward more as a bisexual. If you are, say, a woman who's more attracted to women than to men, being faithful to a man (especially if you are only in the relationship to said man to "be healed" or to "be good" or because "it's what you're supposed to do"), that marriage is going to be *incredibly* hard to maintain.

 

[LiVingSoUL]

...

 

[KLLM82]

 

[stray bullet]

Is it just me, or is every one of your posts on these forums in some way related to your orientation directly or indirectly?

 

[Susan]

Yeah, now that I look at his posts: :troll:

 

[stray bullet]

:troll:

Huh? No, i don't think he is a troll. I know/understand where he is coming from, but he needs a better outlet for discussing this than these forums.

Many people here struggle with things in their lives and enjoy posting it or talking about it.... perfectly healthy. But just using CF to talk about his bisexuality? I dunno....

I'd recommend he find and talk to other gays and bisexuals because he will be better able to learn and deal with this with them than a bunch of (almost entirely) straight Christians.

 

[kidsminister]

No, it's not presumptuous.

IMHO, it depends what gender you lean toward more as a bisexual. If you are, say, a woman who's more attracted to women than to men, being faithful to a man (especially if you are only in the relationship to said man to "be healed" or to "be good" or because "it's what you're supposed to do"), that marriage is going to be *incredibly* hard to maintain.

I definitely see your point about people going into a marriage for the wrong reasons. Marriage is hard enough as it is, and the odds are already against married people.

It also depends on whether (or how) the person defines him or herself as bisexual. If they proudly announce to a prospective partner that they are bi, and that's just who they are, that could raise a red flag that they are just looking for a license to cheat. But if someone deals with same-sex attraction (not the same thing!), but in practice and all other areas considers themselves to be straight, then that person has the potential to walk in integrity and be faithful to a spouse.

 

[stray bullet]

I definitely see your point about people going into a marriage for the wrong reasons. Marriage is hard enough as it is, and the odds are already against married people.

It also depends on whether (or how) the person defines him or herself as bisexual. If they proudly announce to a prospective partner that they are bi, and that's just who they are, that could raise a red flag that they are just looking for a license to cheat. But if someone deals with same-sex attraction (not the same thing!), but in practice and all other areas considers themselves to be straight, then that person has the potential to walk in integrity and be faithful to a spouse.

Calling yourself bisexual is no excuse to cheat. However you want to call yourself, if you are sexually and romantically attracted to men and women, you are bisexual. I agree that it should be done tastefully otherwise you may come off all wrong.

 

[kidsminister]

Huh? No, i don't think he is a troll. I know/understand where he is coming from, but he needs a better outlet for discussing this than these forums.

Many people here struggle with things in their lives and enjoy posting it or talking about it.... perfectly healthy. But just using CF to talk about his bisexuality? I dunno....

I'd recommend he find and talk to other gays and bisexuals because he will be better able to learn and deal with this with them than a bunch of (almost entirely) straight Christians.

It depends on his motivation...lots of people who struggle in that area become almost obsessive about it (sort of a "cry for help."). But if he's out and proud and just wants to shock the Christians, then yeah, maybe another forum with more like-minded people is what he is looking for!!

 

[stray bullet]

I don't think anyone saying they like members of the opposite sex are really going for 'shock'... they are just confused and concerned and need someone to talk to. That's perfectly normal. I don't think he is going to get what he needs from here though...

 

[kidsminister]

Calling yourself bisexual is no excuse to cheat. However you want to call yourself, if you are sexually and romantically attracted to men and women, you are bisexual. I agree that it should be done tastefully otherwise you may come off all wrong.

I agree that there is no excuse to cheat - just that some may use that as one. Those people should be kicked to the curb!

But labels are very dangerous. Same-sex attraction can stem from a number of issues - childhood sexual abuse, bad parental relationships, etc. Someone who was given a warped view of sexuality due to abuse or parental neglect and wants to change should not be labeled as gay or bi or whatever. I believe that there are people out there who were born with those feelings, but I also know and love (and am married to one of them, incidentally!) people who were abused as kids, struggled with attraction to the same sex, and through counseling, prayer, and accountability, were set free and are now happily married.

 

[kidsminister]

I don't think anyone saying they like members of the opposite sex are really going for 'shock'... they are just confused and concerned and need someone to talk to. That's perfectly normal. I don't think he is going to get what he needs from here though...

Do you mean members of the same sex?

If so...yeah, I actually have a friend who came out about six years ago and is still going for the whole "shock" effect when he talks to his straight, Christian friends. He goes into gory detail about his sex life and who he is dating, just to see them blush.

 

[stray bullet]

But labels are very dangerous. Same-sex attraction can stem from a number of issues - childhood sexual abuse, bad parental relationships, etc. [Someone who was given a warped view of sexuality due to abuse or parental neglect and wants to change should not be labeled as gay or bi or whatever. I believe that there are people out there who were born with those feelings, but I also know and love (and am married to one of them, incidentally!) people who were abused as kids, struggled with attraction to the same sex, and through counseling, prayer, and accountability, were set free and are now happily married.

Yes, but some people are just bisexual and can't do anything about it. Nothing wrong with calling themselves that.

 

[stray bullet]

Do you mean members of the same sex?

If so...yeah, I actually have a friend who came out about six years ago and is still going for the whole "shock" effect when he talks to his straight, Christian friends. He goes into gory detail about his sex life and who he is dating, just to see them blush.

THat's not what I am talking about. Talking about your sex life for shock, straight or gay, is totally seperate from what he is doing, showing an interest in discussing his sexuality, not sexual behavior. There is nothing shocking about his posts.