teacher boundries with students

[OnceDust]

Many of you are parents of young children, but as I deal with children on a daily basis, I can identify with child rearing to a point, although I have no children of my own.

Regarding teachers, as I am, I was wondering the stance on some of you regarding how teachers see thier students outside of school. I have been invited more than once by my students to athletic games, birthday parties, etc. I have gone to some football games but I feel like going to a party would be showing favoritism. About the only other thing I have done with students outside the school environment is taking them to a theme park they earned free tickets too, but those that I did were in a bind because either thier parents couldn't afford to take them or they didnt have time.

I strongly believe in boundries between my professional relationships with my students and personal ones. I would never give out personal info to my students; at most parents have initiated contact with me via school or email. I am never alone with just one student or if I am, as in tutoring 1 on 1, my door is always kept open.

I have had teacher friends however, that take thier students out all the time, a few open thier homes to them. One even adopted the child of her students who had gotten pregnant unmairried.

My personal boundries are rather strict for myself. What are your expectations of your child's teacher and thier relationship in and/or out of school?

Thanks and many blessings.

 

[desi]

If you keep it professional you will avoid 'playing favorites' and being accused of such. Of course some times God may call you to intervene with some of your students.

 

[OnceDust]

Of course some times God may call you to intervene with some of your students.

Oh, He has several times, believe me!

Blessings.

 

[lucypevensie]

One things kids can't stand is the teachers pet thing. In my school when I was young teacher/student favoritism ran rampant. It was kind of painful to feel left out (I wasn't a favorite).

I kind of think that special events should be somewhat limited. My daughter's in kindergarten and she has a wonderful teacher. I would never dream of having her teacher take her to a special event just the two of them, and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want to.

I see their relationship as mainly teacher/student. I don't expect, nor do I want Ms. P. to be my daughter's buddy/second parent.

I also realize that there are special situations that arise in which God might call a teacher to play a bigger roll in the kid's life. In that case God's will should be obeyed.

 

[Blessed75]

One things kids can't stand is the teachers pet thing. In my school when I was young teacher/student favoritism ran rampant. It was kind of painful to feel left out (I wasn't a favorite).

I kind of think that special events should be somewhat limited. My daughter's in kindergarten and she has a wonderful teacher. I would never dream of having her teacher take her to a special event just the two of them, and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want to.

I see their relationship as mainly teacher/student. I don't expect, nor do I want Ms. P. to be my daughter's buddy/second parent.

I also realize that there are special situations that arise in which God might call a teacher to play a bigger roll in the kid's life. In that case God's will should be obeyed.

Well said and my thoughts exactly............

 

[OnceDust]

Yes, I agree. The 2 times I have taken kids to a special event, I invited all those who qualified and would only gain permission for a very few to go. Last year it was just one student, and happened to be one of my most challenging kids to manage; he worked hard to earn it but I certainly didnt choose to take him because he was my "favorite". It was amazing what a blast we had though, outside the school walls. Thank goodness it was during the summer and he went to a differemt class in the fall.

I also enjoy supporting my students by going to thier events, where there is a croud and I'm more a spectator. I find it builds a special level of trust that might not be possible otherwise.

 

[vibrant]

keeping your distance is all fine and well, but the teachers who made a difference in my life as well as my friends weren't the ones who thought that their responsibility started and ended at the blackboard and material.

today, it's easier to only do so much and nothing more for fear of misunderstandings, accusations of impropriety, and whatnot... but following those rules to a tee don't create teachers who are remembered years after the class ends.

 

[MsAnne]

Wow - Good question.

My kids attended a small Christian School. I also volunteered there in the Music/Drama Department. I realize it was a unique situation, but the relationship between staff and kids was very close. My children and I consider all of them extended family. Again, I know the circumstances were unique - the size of the school; the fact that my kids attended K - 12; and the fact that I was often around the school.
My kids have both graduated, but when they come back into town, one of their first stops is the school to see their "family".

 

[OnceDust]

today, it's easier to only do so much and nothing more for fear of misunderstandings, accusations of impropriety, and whatnot... but following those rules to a tee don't create teachers who are remembered years after the class ends.

Amen....and thanks

 

[momof3blessings]

My kids have a teacher that is following both of their lives. She has a heart of gold and a wonderful Christian woman. She opens her heart to all kids takes those certain kids that someone teases for being different under her wing subtly.(other kids don't' know but the child does)Kids need to know they are cared about you may be the only person that pays any positive and loving attention to that child. Keeping it overly professional you will miss out on so much. Do you plan to have children? I know that's a personal question but I only ask because I know a teacher who had no children when she first started her attitude was awful she expected the kids to be miny adults she had no kids at the time I never would have put my child in there . A few years later she had baby (she now has 2 i think)her attititude did a 360* turn. Put it this way if my child were to be put in her class now I would have no problem with it. Sorry I rattled on but a teacher is a very important person in a childs life you spend more time with them then there parents do most of the time.

 

[OnceDust]

Do you plan to have children? I know that's a personal question but I only ask because I know a teacher who had no children when she first started her attitude was awful she expected the kids to be miny adults she had no kids at the time I never would have put my child in there . A few years later she had baby (she now has 2 i think)her attititude did a 360* turn. .

OH, heavens yes. Thats partly why I am a teacher, been a youth pastor, and work with kids on the mission trips I've gone on. I'm still single so one thing at a time...I"ve known guys who have adopted while single. A good friend of mine did that, but he's also engaged and knew he would be mairried shortly after he adopted anyway. I may go the adoption route, but not for a while. My dream is to teach abroad. I find other cultures and their educational methods intriguing. It would be cool to raise a family abroad, I think. I"m somewhat concerned with a lot of kids I see nowadays more concerned with materialism issues when they are lucky to have a roof over their head. In many parts of the world, children aren;t so lucky. That's another thread altogether, so I'll stop off my soapbox for now

Blessings

 

[JillLars]

Oncedust, this is a really intersting thread. I am not a parent yet, but I will be in a few years hopefully, I am also going to school to be a teacher. I plan on attending every sporting/arts event that I can, and my fiance has agreed to come with me whenever he can. I will be teaching highschool though, and I know how much I appreciated it when a teacher said "You did a great job in the play last night" I agree with what has been said so far about intervening when a child needs it. Nowadays many children have very little attention from their parents, and they look elsewhere for role models, if you have the oppurtunity to help a child who looks up to you, then I would say go for it!

 

[momof3blessings]

OH, heavens yes. Thats partly why I am a teacher, been a youth pastor, and work with kids on the mission trips I've gone on. I'm still single so one thing at a time...I"ve known guys who have adopted while single. A good friend of mine did that, but he's also engaged and knew he would be mairried shortly after he adopted anyway. I may go the adoption route, but not for a while. My dream is to teach abroad. I find other cultures and their educational methods intriguing. It would be cool to raise a family abroad, I think. I"m somewhat concerned with a lot of kids I see nowadays more concerned with materialism issues when they are lucky to have a roof over their head. In many parts of the world, children aren;t so lucky. That's another thread altogether, so I'll stop off my soapbox for now

Blessings

I started thinging about my post and hope I didn't offend you by what I said. If I did I'm sorry. What I meant it that once your a parent you see thing totaly different and I watched a teacher do that.
Your goals sound awesome. I think they would be great.

 

[lucypevensie]

I was reading other posts and realized that my opinion looks kind of "strict". I do not mean that the teacher's relationships with students should end as soon as the bell rings at 3 o'clock, and they should only talk accademics. I think it's fine to have teacher over for dinner and such. I just think teachers should be very careful to avoid showing favoritism. I can remember some of my own teachers taking troubled kids under their wings, taking them out for lunch at McDonald's and going roller skating in the evening. Little did the teachers know that my heart ached for them to do something like that for me. I was one of the shy quiet ones who hid her troubles behind the facade that I was a happy, well-adjusted kid. I am not saying to avoid a relationship outside of school, but to be extremely careful the others do not feel ignored.

 

[OnceDust]

I started thinging about my post and hope I didn't offend you by what I said. If I did I'm sorry. What I meant it that once your a parent you see thing totaly different and I watched a teacher do that.
Your goals sound awesome. I think they would be great.

None taken. I actually enjoy pondering what it would be like to be a parent. No doubt, I will change when that happens. That will be interesting to see and it gives me something to think about and relate to when talking with my parents about thier kids.

Blessings

 

[OnceDust]

Well,

I'm happy to say I've been able to keep my boundires tight and strong this year. I havent gone to as many events as I have in years past, but one thing I do is share my outside life with my students. I think it's good for a teacher to share his/her life with thier students. Why they chose to be a teacher and stories about thier faith, even. In all my classes and even those I visit I have a Big Book I wrote to tell the students my interests. It includes pictures and rhymes. A page is 1/2 a posterboard sheet. It's not under copywrite so feel free to use this:

Come inside and see this Big Book is all about me
I'll start off with my family tree
(I have a family tree with pictures on posterboard)
Meet my Mom Meet my Dad
As children go I'm all they had
(with pictures of my parents and me growing up)
Growing up was quite a time, heres' my life on a line.
(timeline of important events in my life)
Here are things I life and things I dont
Things I've tried and things I won't
(dicuts of my likes/dislikes)
You want to know more so I've heard, a picture's worth 1000 words
(pages of general pictures, including missions)


You'd be amazed how the kids love to look at the pictures over and over and it's an open opportunity to share Christ with them when they ask about my mission trip pictures. I'm not allowed to say anything regarding religious beliefs unless they ask, so I make sure they have every opportunity to do so.

This is probably a no brainer, but regarding religious discussion in public schools, what should the boundires be? I find no fault in sharing a truth I know has changed my life, but I'm stuck between the dogma of church and state. As a parent, what would you expect of your child's teacher in regards to disucssion of religious ties to holidays like Christmas or Christianity in general?


Blessings

 

[Krazeekkc]

A couple of years ago I was going to a Christian school. I got really close to the teacher. No other kids were jealous or any thing; actually, they didn't really like her or me. I've been to her house and stuff too. I also plan on giving her a Christmas present this year!

So, I think it just depends on the situation.