Scriptural Guidance for Talking to Your Teen about Internet Pornography
Consider the following facts: Sex is the number 1 topic searched on the Internet. One out of five teens says they have looked at something on the Internet that they would not want their parents to know. The average age of initial exposure to pornography for boys is now age 5.24. Internet pornographers utilize deceptive and unscrupulous marketing methodologies targeting children. In the past, pornographers have incorporated key words into their websites such as Nintendo, Disney, and doll so that children entering these words into Internet search engines might inadvertently click on a link in the search results and be led to a porn site. The question is not if your child will see pornographic material but when.
Nowhere do you find any positive effects resulting from habitual exposure to pornography. There are no documented improvements in a persons attitude toward the opposite sex or relationships in general for example. The tendency is NOT toward a higher view of sex, relationships and humanity but in every case, a perverted view of intimacy, a dysfunctional view of relationships, and a dehumanizing view of women.
Pornography distorts Gods design for sex by promoting sex apart from the marriage covenant (1 Cor. 7:23). Moreover, Scripture specifically condemns pornography behaviors that result from pornography such as sexual exposure (Gen. 9:2123), adultery (Lev. 18:20), bestiality (Lev. 18:23), homosexuality (Lev. 18:22), incest (Lev. 18:618), and prostitution (Deut. 23:1718). The Bible warns against premarital and extramarital sex (1 Cor. 6:1318). Even thoughts of sexual immorality (often fed by pornographic material) are condemned (Matt. 5:2728). A biblical view of human sexuality must recognize that sexual intercourse is exclusively reserved for marriage for the following purposes. It establishes the one-flesh union (Gen. 2:2425). Sexual intercourse is for the mutual pleasure of husband and wife (Prov. 5:1819). Sexual intercourse is for procreation (Gen. 1:28).
As a Christian keep yourselves pure by fleeing immorality (1 Cor. 6:18) and thinking on those things which are pure (Phil. 4:8). Make no provision for the flesh (Rom. 13:14). Pornography will fuel the sexual desire in abnormal ways and can eventually lead to even more debase perversion. We, therefore, must abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul (1 Peter 2:11).
As a parent, Talk to your children about what pornography is and why it is so damaging. Timing will vary from child to child, but you should probably talk with your children by the time they reach early adolescence. Even if you do not suspect your kids have seen explicit images, consider asking them if they have ever looked at pornography. Because pornography leads to shame and secrecy, you may be surprised to discover one of them has seen more than you expected. If so, give him permission to talk about his experiences by asking direct but non-condemning questions. Discussing his experiences openly will release him from his shame, possibly heading off addiction before it takes root.
Protect your home. We cannot control everything our families see. However, we can keep computers and TVs in public areas and monitor their use. If your teens rent videos or stay up late watching cable or satellite TV, do you know what they are watching? Ask them if you are not sure. If you receive a Showtime or HBO programming directory each month, you might want to note when the most objectionable shows will be aired. Pay attention to behavior that may indicate your child intends to watch one of those shows. Consider getting rid of premium movie channels. Also, keep an eye on your childrens internet usage. Invest in a filtering system that blocks access to pornographic sites. Know your childrens online friends, check CDs, floppy and Zip disks, and check history files often.
Promote a biblical view of sexuality. If we do not speak positively about Gods good intentions for sexual expression within marriage, we risk communicating that sex is dirty or taboo or we may inadvertently tempt them to experiment with this forbidden fruit.
Pray. Ask God to make you sensitive to what is happening in your family, and pray for wisdom regarding the appropriate time to talk about the perils of pornography.
Practice what you preach! Seventy percent of all pornographic magazines, videos, and computer files parents possess end up in the hands of children. Please burn them so they do not end up in the hand of one of your children or any of my four children!
In dealing with past sexual sin, we must remember certain truths. Jesus loved and forgave sexual sinners (Luke 7; John 4; and John 8). Jesus understands sexual temptation (Hebrews 4:1416). Gods grace is greater than our worst sin (Psalm 103:814). Our past sin may be washed away, even our sexual sin (1 Cor. 6:911).
Consider the following facts: Sex is the number 1 topic searched on the Internet. One out of five teens says they have looked at something on the Internet that they would not want their parents to know. The average age of initial exposure to pornography for boys is now age 5.24. Internet pornographers utilize deceptive and unscrupulous marketing methodologies targeting children. In the past, pornographers have incorporated key words into their websites such as Nintendo, Disney, and doll so that children entering these words into Internet search engines might inadvertently click on a link in the search results and be led to a porn site. The question is not if your child will see pornographic material but when.
Nowhere do you find any positive effects resulting from habitual exposure to pornography. There are no documented improvements in a persons attitude toward the opposite sex or relationships in general for example. The tendency is NOT toward a higher view of sex, relationships and humanity but in every case, a perverted view of intimacy, a dysfunctional view of relationships, and a dehumanizing view of women.
Pornography distorts Gods design for sex by promoting sex apart from the marriage covenant (1 Cor. 7:23). Moreover, Scripture specifically condemns pornography behaviors that result from pornography such as sexual exposure (Gen. 9:2123), adultery (Lev. 18:20), bestiality (Lev. 18:23), homosexuality (Lev. 18:22), incest (Lev. 18:618), and prostitution (Deut. 23:1718). The Bible warns against premarital and extramarital sex (1 Cor. 6:1318). Even thoughts of sexual immorality (often fed by pornographic material) are condemned (Matt. 5:2728). A biblical view of human sexuality must recognize that sexual intercourse is exclusively reserved for marriage for the following purposes. It establishes the one-flesh union (Gen. 2:2425). Sexual intercourse is for the mutual pleasure of husband and wife (Prov. 5:1819). Sexual intercourse is for procreation (Gen. 1:28).
As a Christian keep yourselves pure by fleeing immorality (1 Cor. 6:18) and thinking on those things which are pure (Phil. 4:8). Make no provision for the flesh (Rom. 13:14). Pornography will fuel the sexual desire in abnormal ways and can eventually lead to even more debase perversion. We, therefore, must abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul (1 Peter 2:11).
As a parent, Talk to your children about what pornography is and why it is so damaging. Timing will vary from child to child, but you should probably talk with your children by the time they reach early adolescence. Even if you do not suspect your kids have seen explicit images, consider asking them if they have ever looked at pornography. Because pornography leads to shame and secrecy, you may be surprised to discover one of them has seen more than you expected. If so, give him permission to talk about his experiences by asking direct but non-condemning questions. Discussing his experiences openly will release him from his shame, possibly heading off addiction before it takes root.
Protect your home. We cannot control everything our families see. However, we can keep computers and TVs in public areas and monitor their use. If your teens rent videos or stay up late watching cable or satellite TV, do you know what they are watching? Ask them if you are not sure. If you receive a Showtime or HBO programming directory each month, you might want to note when the most objectionable shows will be aired. Pay attention to behavior that may indicate your child intends to watch one of those shows. Consider getting rid of premium movie channels. Also, keep an eye on your childrens internet usage. Invest in a filtering system that blocks access to pornographic sites. Know your childrens online friends, check CDs, floppy and Zip disks, and check history files often.
Promote a biblical view of sexuality. If we do not speak positively about Gods good intentions for sexual expression within marriage, we risk communicating that sex is dirty or taboo or we may inadvertently tempt them to experiment with this forbidden fruit.
Pray. Ask God to make you sensitive to what is happening in your family, and pray for wisdom regarding the appropriate time to talk about the perils of pornography.
Practice what you preach! Seventy percent of all pornographic magazines, videos, and computer files parents possess end up in the hands of children. Please burn them so they do not end up in the hand of one of your children or any of my four children!
In dealing with past sexual sin, we must remember certain truths. Jesus loved and forgave sexual sinners (Luke 7; John 4; and John 8). Jesus understands sexual temptation (Hebrews 4:1416). Gods grace is greater than our worst sin (Psalm 103:814). Our past sin may be washed away, even our sexual sin (1 Cor. 6:911).
