Taking Loans From Family

[eves_adam]

How do you all feel about it. I've recently done this, and vowed never again. I don't want to do it, they don't want to do it, it's just an embarrassing situation for everyone.

Is this justifiable, or should parents let adult children suffer the consequences and learn the relationship between cause and effect (of overspending, credit debt, etc.)? I'm definitely of this mind, as the recipient of the loan/s.

 

[Braunwyn]

I think it depends on how old you are, how dire your situation is and what the monies will be used for. If it's a matter of over-spending due to irresponsible behavior than it's harder to justify but if you've really learned your lesson, have a plan to pay them back asap (2nd job etc) than the risk of bad credit, homelessness isn't worth not asking imo.

 

[lawtonfogle]

My family is helping me pay for college. I get about 75% of it covered in scholarships, but they are helping me with the rest. I am trying to get more scholarships, but considering my parents make decent, I cannot get a single one on need based, so my choices are somewhat more limited. Also, my being white and male has hurt me too. But I do plan to pay my parents back one day... which would probably be done by helping my younger brothers though college if they choose that route (and if they don't, I am going to have a very long... 'talk'... with them).

 

[GryffinSong]

My ex husband and I borrowed money from my folks to buy our first house. I think it was no big deal at all. We all agreed on how long the loan was for, we paid it back in time, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat if I needed money and they had it to spare. My brother's borrowed from them too. Same situation, where he always paid it back in time. My brother and I would return the favor if they needed it. It's a matter of cash flow, and if everyone's ok with it I don't see any problem at all.

Obviously if the person is not responsible about paying it back, or if the parents can't afford it, then the situation is completely different.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

It really depends who you're dealing with, the pride they hold, and how good you are at making your payments.

 

[jayem]

I'm very fortunate in that I've never had to borrow from a family member. But I have been asked for a loan. Which I agreed to. And I was paid back, though not for a couple of years later. It's a very uncomfortable position to be in. And I've always heard that if you're ever asked to loan money to a family member, just be prepared to consider it a gift.

 

[stan1980]

I'm very fortunate in that I've never had to borrow from a family member. But I have been asked for a loan. Which I agreed to. And I was paid back, though not for a couple of years later. It's a very uncomfortable position to be in. And I've always heard that if you're ever asked to loan money to a family member, just be prepared to consider it a gift.

That's the way I look at it if lend money. I'm normally happy to lend close friends money if I have it, but I never ask for the money back. Fortunately I normally always get it back anyway, but there has been the odd occasion where I haven't been repaid, we're only talking small amounts like £50 or £100, I wont lose any sleep over it, but I will make a mental note not to lend the person in question money again.

 

[keith99]

My ex husband and I borrowed money from my folks to buy our first house. I think it was no big deal at all. We all agreed on how long the loan was for, we paid it back in time, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat if I needed money and they had it to spare. My brother's borrowed from them too. Same situation, where he always paid it back in time. My brother and I would return the favor if they needed it. It's a matter of cash flow, and if everyone's ok with it I don't see any problem at all.

Obviously if the person is not responsible about paying it back, or if the parents can't afford it, then the situation is completely different.

Pretty much the same with my family. Seeing others posts I now realize one reason my family has prospered. (I would expect your has also).

I would die protecting or trying to save any member of my family. If I claim I would give my life what does it say if I will not lend my money.

In my family terms are not of great importance. I can see situations where taking out the time to spell out repayment just as one would do with an outsider would be wise to avoid misunderstandings.

 

[bliz]

The emotional interest rates o family loans can be enormous and continue long after the money is paid back.

 

[billwald]

My Old Man never loaned money to anyone. I've never loaned money to anyone. If we have excess cash and one of the kids have a legit need we give it to him. Neither do we send good money after bad, encouraging bad decisions.

 

[eves_adam]

Wow, there's a wide range of decisions. I agree with all of them?

 

[cakes&buttercream]

The emotional interest rates o family loans can be enormous and continue long after the money is paid back.

That is why I discourage loaning close friends and family money.. it can really dampen your relationship..

 

[eves_adam]

One thing I've noticed is that when I loan friends things as opposed to money, I never get them back! good grief!

What do you guys think of this one? Sometimes my friend and I hang out, and I spend the night at his place before I drive back to my place. Then, if I let him "borrow" something, he just keeps it! Even after I humbly ask for it back! Is the favor of spending a night instead of driving back same night a de facto excuse to keep my stuff? ha ha.

 

[trunks2k]

I don't like the idea of lending friends or family significant amounts of money as it just puts a strain on the relationship. I've lent friends some money in the couple hundred dollars range here and there, but I did so without the expectation of getting it all back.

I'd only give or take a loan for a large sum from friends or family if there was a clear signed contract laying out all the terms of the loan. My brother offered me $5000 to go towards closing costs or down payment on a house should I choose to buy one. I have no plans on taking him up on the offer unless I find a really good house that I can afford the payments on but don't have the cash on hand to make the appropriate down payments or closing costs.