Taking in my brothers, now having a bio son.

[EbonNelumbo]

So last year my husband and I took in my two half-brothers, aged 13 and 15. My brothers, especially the 15 year old, have been so stunted by the way they have grown up with their mom and my father that they seemed as though they were 8 at times.

Well, they were with us for a few months and we had guardianship, but now they are back with my father. I want to cry, I miss them so much. I never thought I would miss them this much, but every time I think about them going to school now, I miss the chance to have been there and helped them with homework and done other things (parental things) with them and for them.

Has anyone else had a child they have had guardianship of or adopted, only to lose within some period of time, and now you have a gaping hole in your soul?

*sigh* I've been thinking about them a lot and their mom and I do not get along, so I don't get to see them often at all, but I really do miss having them around.

 

[die2live]

Oh, that sounds so hard. I'm so sorry. It shows there's a lot more to being a mom than giving birth. Even if the kids were never biologically or legally yours, I really believe they became your sons at some point. I can't imagine what you're going through, but I'll most definitely be praying for you and your family.

 

[Linnis]

My nephew was in our care for almost a year and a half. Then suddenly his father decided to come around more and within a period of six months he was back with living with his Dad full time. It was hard. We'd love him like our own, shaped our entire lives around having him as a part of it.

My BIL still doesn't see how much we did for his son. I still miss him even if he's been back with his Dad two years. I miss helping him say his prayers before bed and reading him The Boxcar Children, I even miss the endless grass stains on his pants.

I now have my own son and while it's different a lot of it is the same as when we had our nephew. The love isn't as different as people make it out to be.

 

[Finn88]

My brother came to live with us when he was 17 (you wouldn't have belived he was almost an adult though) He lived with us for 9 months and we have continued to support him closely since and my husband and I both consider him to be so much more than a brother, it really was more like being his foster mum!
I recently met up with our dad to learn that he ws hurt and angry that we felt this way...apparently we had no right to step into that parent role and damaged his relationship with his son as a result! This really hurt, because he HAD no realationship with his son before we intervened! I know for a fact that it actually IMPROVED while my bro was staying with us! We saw a need and we filled the gap, we didn't choose it, we didn't ask for it but we did it ...its really frustrating to learn that there was no thanks from his true parent for the was we helped and supported his son

 

[Grace51]

you know, what i find really interesting as i was reading through this threads. is the fact most of you seem to have no problem attaching to your brothers/nephews as you would to your own children.


which is a sharp contrast with many posts i have seen in step parenting section both in this forums and other christian forums.

many of those christian step parents seem to have problems even liking their step children.

much less love them as their own.

even many good ones admit they may never be able to love their step as much as their own.

very interesting contrast indeed.

 

[OnwardChristianSoldier]

Such and amazing thing to do, your story is saddening, but I have faith you will find happiness!
God Bless You!!