taking care husband

[barbp]

I was just wondering if anyone knows how to keep going on taking care of someone when you yourself is complety wore out.my patience is gone. He has cancer and the side effects have taking their toll.He now has heart trouble,kidney trouble. and has to use a walker.It is my husband

 

[Chaplain David]

First thing is I'm praying for you both.

Cargiving is extremely difficult and when we've done it for a while it can take a toll on us. We have to stay strong for a lot of reasons not the least being so we can help our loved one.

Sometimes our local hospitals run groups for caregivers that are designed to teach us how to take care of ourselves when we also have to care for a loved one.

Calling the department of social service or social worker in your hospital might be a good place to ask if they know of an office or agency to get help from. Obviously if you can pay for it there are always people to hire. But a lot of folks don't have the money to do this so the solution is wrapped up in finding volunteer help if we can.

Checking at your church, maybe talking to your pastor might help you obtain help.

So those are several things you could try and I pray are effective for you and your husband.

Faithfully,
CH Sacerdote

 

[barbp]

Thanks for the help. I didn't know where to turn

 

[If Not For Grace]

It is essential you allow for some me time. If you have ever been on an airplane, they will give you the what to do in an ER speech. They will tell you when the oxygen mask drops to take the first breath YOURSELF even if you child is seated next to you. You can be of no good to anyone unless you are getting some self care.

Get respite care anyway you can. Do not be ashamed or so full of pride that you do not ask for help from friends, family or agencies. When someone says "if there's anything I can do" respond with well now that you mention it and tell them what you need, If they say I can't Tuesday, etc. ask them when can they? Do no be shy.

Medicare/Medicaid cover medical equipment, get it and learn to use it. Usually there is a Dept of vocational services or equivalent run by your state, they will have some sort of independent living program and be up on the latest community resources. Many LTC facilities have staff that "moonlight" as sitters or assistants IF cash is an option.

Remember Both of you deserve the best quality of life available during this transition stage of life. Be Gentle with yourself 24/7 is quite a load for all these changes that come at once. A baby monitor was a tool I found helpful that let me go about other household duties while I kept watch, bought it at a yard sell (test BF you leave). It does get easier once you get a routine going, just be flexible and let the small stuff go. (A lot of it is small stuff) (HUG)

 

[RuthD]

I believe everyone gave you good replies so I will pray for you to get relief and feel peace. How are you doing now?

 

[missgolightly]

My friend ask for help. Have faith that your husband will one day feel no pain. The lord will take him in his arms. He will heal him and love him till you are reunited.

 

[stormdancer0]

I understand. I've cared for my disabled husband for almost 10 years. I don't know how to take time for myself. I come back just as exhausted as when I left. Plus it takes me all day to catch up. Doesn't seem worth it. Sorry, not trying to drag you down. Every day is a victory. Every day is one more than "they" said we would have together. I would do this for decades for my husband. And he would do it for me. See, I'm sick, too. So on days that I have that are really bad, God gives Mike a good day so he can help me. God bless you for staying with him and caring for him.