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Synesthete can't sleep, can't eat having panic attack

DeerGlow

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Can some one talk me down. I just burned myself and then slapped myself so hard. I've never been that abusive to myself.
I see that it's late but what's going on? Have you been able to calm down?
 
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makeajoyfulnoise100

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Yes, I have thankyou. My sleep has been terrible since I'm one of those people who see/hear/taste/feel colors. I get sensory over load when there's too much noise or too much drama. Today happened to be both. I prayed during it, but sometimes it's hard to find answers. Especially when you're a person who's trying to eliminate hate from their emotions. Hating people that is. As well as hating myself. There are times I ask God can I just go? But then I repent of that. Suicidal have been plaguing me since I was young.
 
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DeerGlow

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Yes, I have thankyou. My sleep has been terrible since I'm one of those people who see/hear/taste/feel colors. I get sensory over load when there's too much noise or too much drama. Today happened to be both. I prayed during it, but sometimes it's hard to find answers. Especially when you're a person who's trying to eliminate hate from their emotions. Hating people that is. As well as hating myself. There are times I ask God can I just go? But then I repent of that. Suicidal have been plaguing me since I was young.
Hm, do you have quiet places or places that can help with the overload from colors? Like a room in the house or somewhere outside like a patio or a nice place nearby?
 
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makeajoyfulnoise100

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Hm, do you have quiet places or places that can help with the overload from colors? Like a room in the house or somewhere outside like a patio or a nice place nearby?

Quiet time doesn't exist in my house until now at 2:22am. My nephews come over all the time and are loud and rowdy, my sister always has drama, dad plays his guitar when he can to teach his students, mom whistles (yes whistles like I'm a farm animal) for me, the pets like to chatter (they're easier to quiet though), my brother snores in the other room plus has his music on (he's actually that bad in terms of noise making). The only way I can get any peace is a library where everyone stares at you if you're there for too long. But I'm praying and appreciate your prayers too. I'll just have to see what G-d has in store.
 
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