Symptoms and Support

[madison1101]

When I was first diagnosed with BPD, almost 20 years ago, I had no clue what it was, or if it could be cured. I was told by my patient therapist that I needed to work on the behaviors. Simple for him to say, he didn't feel like ripping apart the world at the drop of a hat. I kept telling him he was asking for the impossible in stopping the throwing, tantrums, flipouts, etc. He kept saying my problem was not built into me, but was a deeply ingrained, maladaptive pattern of thinking, feeling and behaving.

Well, there were so many symptoms to deal with, I felt like I was playing the arcade game Whack a Mole. I would no sooner get one behavior under control, another would pop up, and as soon as that was under control, another would pop up.

Thank God, this therapist never gave up on me, and kept consistently encouraging me to change the behaviors while helping me work through the childhood issues that were at the root of some of them.

My biggest symptom was my fear of abandonment. That kept triggering a lot of my other behaviors over and over again. Yet, as I started to take baby steps toward not acting out, and began to heal from my traumas through a lot of prayer, I made strides eventually.

I no longer have the diagnosis, yet can go back to those old patterns in a heartbeat if I do not diligently work on a daily basis to self-soothe and keep my emotions in check.

 

[Tenebrae]

Thanks for sharing your story Maddison

Its awesome to hear other peoples journies

 

[Bryan519]

Thanks for sharing your story Maddison

Its awesome to hear other peoples journies

I agree T. It's therapeutic to talk to others who have shared the same experiences and have overcome them.

 

[God's Little Princess]

That's an amazing story! It's a wonderful thing to read of how you've come so far in recovery.

Thank you for sharing your story!