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Discussion and Debate
Discussion and Debate
Ethics & Morality
Swearing
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<blockquote data-quote="parsley" data-source="post: 66922130" data-attributes="member: 291932"><p>In the situation you describe, swearing makes a statement that you are really serious, and frustrated that you can't get through to her.</p><p></p><p>It doesn't usually work, but at least helps you vent.</p><p></p><p>I mean, your mother didn't respond to your swearing with, "Oh I get it now, sorry to insult how you've managed your life." </p><p></p><p>Swearing often has the opposite result: "I can't believe she swore at me." </p><p>"She is hanging out with low-lifes now, and she didn't swear before when we raised her properly."</p><p></p><p>It often implies people feel they have lost control, when the speaker gets a rush of the opposite. In professional situations it's inappropriate, but not always. Sometimes it's still used to make friends, like it was when we were twelve.</p><p></p><p>But the real problem is that your mother is on your case, and doesn't grasp how hard you're trying. </p><p>(The last conversation I had with my parents before they died, I was conveying to my dad how hard I was trying to work on my career, and my mom walked in and snapped at me for not including her in the conversation...as though I were keeping something from her.)</p><p></p><p>Maybe you could tell her more about your trip, or your job. Usually parents are just afraid that their kids will have to struggle through life. They have endured a lot of pain themselves, and want to prevent that for their kids. Also at that age, they are realizing they only have a few years left themselves, to make money before they are unemployable. There will be fear in her voice, that will seem directed at you.</p><p></p><p>At the age of independence, most conversations between parent and child feel like parents are intruding and criticizing, and young adults are not listening. It's normal and common, and will likely improve.</p><p></p><p>Sorry you're under the weather and exhausted. I hope you can get some rest.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="parsley, post: 66922130, member: 291932"] In the situation you describe, swearing makes a statement that you are really serious, and frustrated that you can't get through to her. It doesn't usually work, but at least helps you vent. I mean, your mother didn't respond to your swearing with, "Oh I get it now, sorry to insult how you've managed your life." Swearing often has the opposite result: "I can't believe she swore at me." "She is hanging out with low-lifes now, and she didn't swear before when we raised her properly." It often implies people feel they have lost control, when the speaker gets a rush of the opposite. In professional situations it's inappropriate, but not always. Sometimes it's still used to make friends, like it was when we were twelve. But the real problem is that your mother is on your case, and doesn't grasp how hard you're trying. (The last conversation I had with my parents before they died, I was conveying to my dad how hard I was trying to work on my career, and my mom walked in and snapped at me for not including her in the conversation...as though I were keeping something from her.) Maybe you could tell her more about your trip, or your job. Usually parents are just afraid that their kids will have to struggle through life. They have endured a lot of pain themselves, and want to prevent that for their kids. Also at that age, they are realizing they only have a few years left themselves, to make money before they are unemployable. There will be fear in her voice, that will seem directed at you. At the age of independence, most conversations between parent and child feel like parents are intruding and criticizing, and young adults are not listening. It's normal and common, and will likely improve. Sorry you're under the weather and exhausted. I hope you can get some rest. [/QUOTE]
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