Swearing and accountability

[FlatpickingJD]

I've been struggling lately with how often I swear. Someone I'm working with right now asked me if I'm from New York because of my, er, salty choice of language yesterday (her's wasn't as salty, but she did use some really colorful language herself). Never mind that I need to find work I enjoy which might help, the fact is it was inappropriate. Fortunately, the client didn't hear me.

What bothers me is that I know that it reflects badly on me in a number of ways. One way is that I really do believe that swearing is an indication of poor language skills. The other way is that it reflects badly on Christians whenever I use language that I know is offensive to both God and man.

So here's the thing: I hope you all can hold me accountable for my attempts to at least reduce my swearing. I don't know that I'll buy a counter, but just may. I will try to post here how many times I swear. Maybe this kind of public accountability will help me stop.

And I will even count when I swear while driving (along with work, that's the other main source of my plant wilting outbursts).

So whaddya say?

 

[FlatpickingJD]

For the record, I swore 9 times today.

From the time I started counting (about 9:00 AM, PST).

So far.

 

[Jenster]

Now you're making *me* feel guilty, FJD! I don't swear out loud, but I do it sometimes when I talk to myself or under my breath.

Anyway, you've set for yourself a worthy goal. I know God will bless your effort.

I will pop in on this thread when I'm on CF to see how you're doing and try to give you support. I'll also pray that you'll find less offensive words to use (try "fahrvergnugen," that'll make your mouth happy ). Sometimes, I substitute an "arrow" prayer -- shot swiftly to heaven -- for a swear word.

 

[Inkachu]

I think it's a great idea. Wow...9 times today...that just sounds like a lot to me cause I don't swear.

I'm proud of you for wanting to keep track of this, and improve on it!

 

[FlatpickingJD]

Now you're making *me* feel guilty, FJD! I don't swear out loud, but I do it sometimes when I talk to myself or under my breath.

Anyway, you've set for yourself a worthy goal. I know God will bless your effort.

I will pop in on this thread when I'm on CF to see how you're doing and try to give you support. I'll also pray that you'll find less offensive words to use (try "fahrvergnugen," that'll make your mouth happy ). Sometimes, I substitute an "arrow" prayer -- shot swiftly to heaven -- for a swear word.

I don't want you to feel guilty about it. It's something I struggle with and, sadly, aren't even aware I'm doing which makes it worse. I'm hoping going public will keep me on the up and up, that if someone says 'hey, how'd you do today?' I can honestly say I'm trying. You know, rather than just saying I want to stop and not doing much of anything about it. Anyway, if it bothers you too, maybe we can hold each other accountable.

I think it's a great idea. Wow...9 times today...that just sounds like a lot to me cause I don't swear.

I'm proud of you for wanting to keep track of this, and improve on it!

Yeah, it probably is a lot. And I didn't really talk to many people today, so that's what makes it worse for the day. Thank you for the thoughts!

 

[ido]

I've been trying to be better about this, too. I'm worse at work b/c my co-workers swear like sailors. I have a potty mouth all on my own, tho - so I don't blame them, it just makes it easier to slip.

Kudos to you for working on improving this. I've gotten a lot better, but I certainly could improve more my ownself.

 

[JohnDB]

I used to swear a lot...
But then I found that my words had more force when I didn't use any at all...and so I dilligently stopped with the help of a few friends that made me aware of every word I said as I said it...

made me use different customary expressions and think of what I was going to say before I said it...

Now I work construction and everyone uses foul language. It hurts my ears...but I have noticed that I am slipping quite a bit lately myself...being surrounded by it all the time.

It gets tough...

There is going to come a day when I might get asked to lead a small group bible study...I am going to die of embarrasment if I say a bad word while doing that...

So...

I am going to say a little prayer of releif if I don't get asked.


for a while at least...till I can get a grip on myself.

 

[FlatpickingJD]

Okay, so here's a prompt update: I went to a new church tonight. The drive over wasn't so bad, which is good because, and I kid you not, if you take the times I swear while driving out of the equation I cut the total down by at least half. At any rate, I think I swore 2 times while driving (yes, that's good for me). Then I get to the church.

Missed the turnoff for the parking lot. +1

Entered a different parking lot than the "complex" where this church is located. +1

Had to back up and go to the right parking lot. +2

Fast forward. Add one as I walk into the building. Yes, I know. I saw someone that I did not expect to see and really didn't want to.

Then the service came and went (really bad worship music. Am I the only person in the world who doesn't like contemporary music?). It was at this point that I decided I had to actually say the words out loud, just thinking them doesn't count. Otherwise the total would've jumped by, I don't know, a hundred or so. I really don't like contemporary worship music.

Then came the drive home. Here was my typical conversation with myself:

'come on into the lane. Would you please get into the lane? Okay, I was waving your a** into the lane, but you wouldn't get in, so I'm going to speed up so we don't get killed.'

'Wait, wat? Did I just swear? <insert word here>. Wait. I did it again. <insert another word here>!



Long and short of it is add another 12. to the list.

 

[ido]

Oh, JD - When I laugh, I'm laughing b/c I swear you could have taped that driving conversation if you bugged the inside of my car. I promise I'm not laughing at you.

 

[FlatpickingJD]

No problem, I was laughing too once I realized what I was saying.

 

[ido]

I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the church service. I'm particular about contemporary worship music. If it's not music I'm used to, then I prefer the hymns. I like familiarity, I guess - songs that I have come to relate to certain emotions or being moved a certain way during worship.

 

[FlatpickingJD]

I'm not sure what bothered me about it tonight in particular. I mean the group that sang was really good, the music well done. It just didn't feel right. The funny thing is the English language songs annoyed me, and in the mixed English-Spanish song (the last one), the Spanish part would have moved me but then the English part bugged me again.

I will probably go back next week to see what that service is like. I'm not sure that I would want to join that church though. This was also my first time in a Protestant church in a very long time, so that felt different too.

 

[Jenster]

Then came the drive home. Here was my typical conversation with myself:

'come on into the lane. Would you please get into the lane? Okay, I was waving your a** into the lane, but you wouldn't get in, so I'm going to speed up so we don't get killed.'

'Wait, wat? Did I just swear? <insert word here>. Wait. I did it again. <insert another word here>!



Long and short of it is add another 12. to the list.

Thanks for the honesty, FJD. My in-car conversations sound similar. Actually, a bit more sarcastic. :o

So your total today was 21. Wanna shoot for only 20 tomorrow?

 

[GritsnGrace]

I don't swear very often, but on a rare occasion, I do let something slip. Then people will look at me, and their jaws will drop! There is one expression, that is not even in my vocabulary, I don't think there is any use for it at all!
About the contemporary music, I grew up on hymns and southern gospel music, the traditional around here. But, when I switched to the Southern Baptist from the Independant Missionary Baptist I grew up in, I started appreciating some of the more contemporay stuff. I still love the southern gospel and bluegrass gospel, though.

 

[JohnDB]

I can explain as to why the churchs are changing formats away from the traditional hymms but I would begin to use that language that I am going to make a concious effort not to use...

that being said without expletives.

I do like some of the praise and worship songs. Some are great...but sadly some are ridiculous...people singing words and having no clue as to what they are singing...

Some of the old hymms have more ..........

OK...I am gonna quit...I am gonna start using expletives again...

 

[dluvs2trvl]

I'm like grammy...I don't swear at all and it is a rare occassion when one does slip and people's jaws drop all around when that happens...so I don't exactly understand what you guys are going through that are trying to cut it down or out of your vocabulary BUT I do understand from the sense of trying to stop doing something that you do on a regular basis - like if I tried to stop drinking soda...that would totally suck!

I totally admire you guys for doing this and will be praying for strength and encouragement for you guys!!! I know you can do it and accountability always helps!!!

 

[FlatpickingJD]

I don't swear very often, but on a rare occasion, I do let something slip. Then people will look at me, and their jaws will drop! There is one expression, that is not even in my vocabulary, I don't think there is any use for it at all!
About the contemporary music, I grew up on hymns and southern gospel music, the traditional around here. But, when I switched to the Southern Baptist from the Independant Missionary Baptist I grew up in, I started appreciating some of the more contemporay stuff. I still love the southern gospel and bluegrass gospel, though.

I'm like grammy...I don't swear at all and it is a rare occassion when one does slip and people's jaws drop all around when that happens...so I don't exactly understand what you guys are going through that are trying to cut it down or out of your vocabulary BUT I do understand from the sense of trying to stop doing something that you do on a regular basis - like if I tried to stop drinking soda...that would totally suck!

I totally admire you guys for doing this and will be praying for strength and encouragement for you guys!!! I know you can do it and accountability always helps!!!

See, this is what I'm trying to get to: where people look at me because I actually used one of those words, not because I used it when the computer didn't boot up fast enough (yes, that's another time my vocabulary slips). To use a sports analogy, it's like when a basketball player or coach who never complains about a call gets upset - - the refs will listen more closely because it's unusual. The players or coaches who complain each time not only don't get listened to, they don't get the benefit of the doubt in the first place.

My count for today is 3 so far. And I was on the road for about an hour and a half (to and from church - - my regular church - - then shopping, then to and from the airport to pick up my mother). So I think I'm doing pretty well.

 

[ido]

I'm not sure what bothered me about it tonight in particular. I mean the group that sang was really good, the music well done. It just didn't feel right. The funny thing is the English language songs annoyed me, and in the mixed English-Spanish song (the last one), the Spanish part would have moved me but then the English part bugged me again.

I will probably go back next week to see what that service is like. I'm not sure that I would want to join that church though. This was also my first time in a Protestant church in a very long time, so that felt different too.

Well, mass and a protestant service are like night and day, IMO. It would be a major adjustment to go from one to the other, I'm sure.

Are you bilingual?

 

[FlatpickingJD]

One thing that stood out most for me was that in this church they didn't have communion. I thought Protestant churches did. Maybe it was just that one.

I do speak, read and write Spanish reasonably well, but I'm not bilingual - - not to the extent that I could, say, work as a translator or anything. How about you? You live in FL, so you speak Spanish, right? Do you get that question a lot? I get it all the time, as though everyone in CA speaks Spanish.

And I only swore once since I last posted too.

But I do go into work tomorrow, so that count is going to go WAY up.

 

[GritsnGrace]

One thing that stood out most for me was that in this church they didn't have communion. I thought Protestant churches did. Maybe it was just that one.

I do speak, read and write Spanish reasonably well, but I'm not bilingual - - not to the extent that I could, say, work as a translator or anything. How about you? You live in FL, so you speak Spanish, right? Do you get that question a lot? I get it all the time, as though everyone in CA speaks Spanish.

And I only swore once since I last posted too.

But I do go into work tomorrow, so that count is going to go WAY up.

I am Baptist, and we have 'communion', or the Lord's supper about twice a year. It is more of a sacred thing, than a regular thing. Usually around Easter, and Christmas.