Survey: 42% would not date a virgin.

[Larry Mondello]

The findings are interesting from the Match.com survey.
What singles want: Survey looks at attraction, turnoffs

--- 42% would not date a virgin.

-Almost one-third (28%) say they've had sex by the third date; almost half (46%) by the sixth date.

Of course, this is the general population, not the Christian community.
It would be interesting to read Christian views on dating and sex.

Would hope that "wouldn't date a virgin" percentage isn't as high amongst the Christian dating world, but you never know.

Have previously stated my views on virginity and some here have seen me here (and on other boards) defend and try to encourage those virgins, the ones who hold-out.
I never had any "problem" with virgins and indeed, respected and admired them and wanted to date and marry one. Of course, I became more realistic as I got older.

In a quick scan of the match.com website, I can't find a deeper breakdown nor any mention of the survey, so going on the USA Today article.

Curious others' thoughts here, particularly Christian women's views of virgin or less-experienced men...

 

[dies-l]

I think that this is one of those issues that the Christian community as a whole has a much different opinion than "the world". The Christian community tends to idealize "waiting until marriage" and our society tends to idealize sexual prowess. The problem is that most unmarried Christians are not virgins and most unmarried non-Christians are not all that proficient at sex. But, we all like to pretend.

My personal opinion is that sex should wait for marriage. I have been married twice, and before my first marriage I was sexually active. Between my first and my second, I waited and I married a woman who was a virgin. I think that the second experience has led to a better and healthier marriage.

Incidentally, my wife and I met on match.com.

 

[keith99]

I would not want to go on a first date with someone I knew was a virgin.

Technically I don't even see how I could know for sure in any case.

BUT I'd consider it a major downtick if someone was making it known they were a Virgin. Pretty much the same for someone talking too much about their previous sexual experience. Pretty much a symetrical situation, except that it is more reasonable to be pretty sure someone is not a virgin without them making a lot out of it.

 

[dies-l]

I would not want to go on a first date with someone I knew was a virgin.

Technically I don't even see how I could know for sure in any case.

BUT I'd consider it a major downtick if someone was making it known they were a Virgin. Pretty much the same for someone talking too much about their previous sexual experience. Pretty much a symetrical situation, except that it is more reasonable to be pretty sure someone is not a virgin without them making a lot out of it.

And, perhaps therein lies some explanation for the statistic. If a person puts on their match.com profile, "I am a virgin", that really says more about the person than their virginity. Many people would read this as "I am self-righteous and I want to date a person who is self-righteous just like me" or "I have no sense of privacy, and I feel that it is pertinent that you know a very private detail of my life before we even meet for the first time." I would suspect that there would be a substantial number who would also shy away from a match.com profile that says "I have had x sexual partners in my life", regardless of what x might be. I didn't know anything about my wife's sexual past until we had been dating for quite some time, and other than the fact that I had been previously married, she didn't know much about mine.

 

[Eudaimonist]

--- 42% would not date a virgin.

Perhaps we should turn this statistic around. More than half of people will date a virgin. That sounds better.


eudaimonia,

Mark

 

[Larry Mondello]

Perhaps we should turn this statistic around. More than half of people will date a virgin. That sounds better.

Agree, that's a better way of stating it.

And I don't think most nonbelievers would necessarily rule-out dating a person if they later learned he/she was a virgin.
Have read how many nonChristians wait until marriage as well for a variety of reasons, including moral.

Agree with the other poster that a person doesn't need to disclose their sexual status or experience early in the relationship. That can only cause problems and may be TMI.

 

[jminnesota]

my wife and i both waited til we got married but if my wife was not a virgin and we met i would still marry her as she is a wonderful person i feel the pass is the pass.

 

[Beechwell]

I am not familiar with match.com, but I would assume that any online dating service also attracts a lot of people who only look for a short going or even a one night stand. that would explain the considerable amount of people in the survey who would not date a virgin.

personally I prefer at least somewhat "sexually mature" partners, but certainly would have no problem with dating (the right) virgin either. although I would be wary if that person made a big deal about their virginity.

 

[yasic]

Well, considering Christians still make up some 80-85% of the population, chances are those statistics are reflect onto Christians fairly well.

I personally would be adverse to dating a virgin, but not necessarily 100% against it.

 

[Ryal Kane]

I certainly wouldn't be bothered either way. If someone was openly extremely promiscuous or evangelical about virginity then I'd probably have reservations but otherwise it doesn't seem like an issue.

 

[Verv]

There is no number of men indicated in the survey that I saw and no demographic breakdown. It was apparently aimed at all single men and perhaps a lot of the men who were over the age of 30 or 40 and recently divorced were implying that they wouldn't want to date a 40 year old female virgin -- this would contextualize it far more.

I find it hard to believe that there are people under the age of 25 who wouldn't date a virgin.

Often times the media misleads people in order to create a sensational headline and thus be referenced.

 

[I Eat Pie]

It's a dating site lol. I bet a huge chunk of those people are just there to get laid....

 

[Jade Margery]

Well, considering Christians still make up some 80-85% of the population, chances are those statistics are reflect onto Christians fairly well.

I personally would be adverse to dating a virgin, but not necessarily 100% against it.

In my experience, what the virgins lack in skill they make up for with enthusiasm and a willingness to take direction. But then, maybe dating virgin men is different from dating virgin women...

Get 'em green, pick 'em clean, as my mother used to say.

 

[Ariadne_GR]

And that is why I have never been on more than three dates with the same guy. They all expect sex even though I make it very clear my stance on it. I guess they think they can "change my mind". The right one will wait, non-negotiable.

As for dating a virgin guy, that would be totally fine and better, as we'll be in the same boat.

 

[cow451]

It's a dating site lol. I bet a huge chunk of those people are just there to get laid....

The survey was paid for by match.com. It is unclear, but my guess is that it is not a survey OF match.com members. It most likely is a survey of the "general" population, which might help match.com in their marketing strategies. But not enough info to say for sure.

 

[TheyCallMeDave]

The findings are interesting from the Match.com survey.
What singles want: Survey looks at attraction, turnoffs

--- 42% would not date a virgin.

-Almost one-third (28%) say they've had sex by the third date; almost half (46%) by the sixth date.

Of course, this is the general population, not the Christian community.
It would be interesting to read Christian views on dating and sex.

Would hope that "wouldn't date a virgin" percentage isn't as high amongst the Christian dating world, but you never know.

Have previously stated my views on virginity and some here have seen me here (and on other boards) defend and try to encourage those virgins, the ones who hold-out.
I never had any "problem" with virgins and indeed, respected and admired them and wanted to date and marry one. Of course, I became more realistic as I got older.

In a quick scan of the match.com website, I can't find a deeper breakdown nor any mention of the survey, so going on the USA Today article.

Curious others' thoughts here, particularly Christian women's views of virgin or less-experienced men...

It doesnt surprise me that Men by and large arent interested in dating a virgin woman who has values and morals.....not when all they basically need do to get sex is show up on the doorstep of a sexually active Womans house for a date. A man doesnt even need to go thru the motions of spending money on fine dining or open her car door anymore. Its no wonder that the general male population views Women as disposable sex objects ... its because they are willing to be such. Its a very sad situation for the virgin Gal who has dignity and good self esteem toward herself , because she is no longer considered desirable in a dangerous sexually hedonistic Culture. But, more power to her ! She gets my vote. And...she wont get a lifelong STD as a reminder that Gods ways are always best.

 

[Larry Mondello]

It doesnt surprise me that Men by and large arent interested in dating a virgin woman who has values and morals.....not when all they basically need do to get sex is show up on the doorstep of a sexually active Womans house for a date.

A man doesnt even need to go thru the motions of spending money on fine dining or open her car door anymore.

Its no wonder that the general male population views Women as disposable sex objects ... its because they are willing to be such.

I think widespread availability of porn has a lot to do with this.

Its a very sad situation for the virgin Gal who has dignity and good self esteem toward herself , because she is no longer considered desirable in a dangerous sexually hedonistic Culture. But, more power to her ! She gets my vote. And...she wont get a lifelong STD as a reminder that Gods ways are always best.

Men respect women who hold-out.

Have read online of virgin or non-virgin women who won't engage in sex and draw their line.
They post the guys actually respect them more bec. it's relatively rare a gal will stand-up for her beliefs that way.

As I've posted elsewhere, I wasn't a virgin in my 20s but wasn't highly experienced either.
I did encounter virgins in dating and never pressured them, even though at the time ( in my late 20s ) I wasn't "such a strong Christian" I'd sometimes try to move things a certain direction, unfortunately (but not often, I felt guilt about that too).

Some women did speak-up and tell me we wouldn't be having sex until marriage, which was fine by me.
Really.
If a Christian woman told me she didn't want to engage in that kind of thing, even the "light sexual stuff" or "everything...but" that some did allow... I respected that and really wanted a loving spouse more than a sexual experience.

So I really did respect the virgins and wished I'd been one.

 

[I Eat Pie]

The survey was paid for by match.com. It is unclear, but my guess is that it is not a survey OF match.com members. It most likely is a survey of the "general" population, which might help match.com in their marketing strategies. But not enough info to say for sure.

Oh ok. Well maybe more people just want experienced partners nowadays xD

 

[TheyCallMeDave]

I think widespread availability of porn has a lot to do with this.





Men respect women who hold-out.

Have read online of virgin or non-virgin women who won't engage in sex and draw their line.
They post the guys actually respect them more bec. it's relatively rare a gal will stand-up for her beliefs that way.

As I've posted elsewhere, I wasn't a virgin in my 20s but wasn't highly experienced either.
I did encounter virgins in dating and never pressured them, even though at the time ( in my late 20s ) I wasn't "such a strong Christian" I'd sometimes try to move things a certain direction, unfortunately (but not often, I felt guilt about that too).

Some women did speak-up and tell me we wouldn't be having sex until marriage, which was fine by me.
Really.
If a Christian woman told me she didn't want to engage in that kind of thing, even the "light sexual stuff" or "everything...but" that some did allow... I respected that and really wanted a loving spouse more than a sexual experience.

So I really did respect the virgins and wished I'd been one.

a. Not only Porn...but an entire American Culture that promotes illicit sex vehemently pursued by an out of control mass media at every turn. Its as engrained in the American Populace as much as McDonalds hamburgers is for a meal .

b. True, Men respect women who respect themselves. If they are cheap with their Bodies, then Mens attitudes will follow suit. Its women in society , primarily, that set the sexual theme of an entire nation by how permissive they are willing to be. And today, they are very willing because of secular brainwashing.

c. Its refreshing in a permissive sexual society when a woman goes against the flow because she knows who she is and has self respect.

d. If a gal tells you she wont be having sex till marriage, then youre dealing with a gal of integrity and strong moral compass. ANd if you end up marrying her, yuou wont have to worry about her sexual faithfulness toward you.

e. Yes, i wish i had remained a virgin before marriage...and didnt follow an out of control sexual philosophy of gross self centeredness.

 

[dies-l]

a. Not only Porn...but an entire American Culture that promotes illicit sex vehemently pursued by an out of control mass media at every turn. Its as engrained in the American Populace as much as McDonalds hamburgers is for a meal .

b. True, Men respect women who respect themselves. If they are cheap with their Bodies, then Mens attitudes will follow suit. Its women in society , primarily, that set the sexual theme of an entire nation by how permissive they are willing to be. And today, they are very willing because of secular brainwashing.

c. Its refreshing in a permissive sexual society when a woman goes against the flow because she knows who she is and has self respect.

d. If a gal tells you she wont be having sex till marriage, then youre dealing with a gal of integrity and strong moral compass. ANd if you end up marrying her, yuou wont have to worry about her sexual faithfulness toward you.

e. Yes, i wish i had remained a virgin before marriage...and didnt follow an out of control sexual philosophy of gross self centeredness.

I agree with all except d. Certainly, a woman who waits is far more likely to to have "integrity and a strong moral compass", but I would hardly consider a guarantee of marital fidelity. If anyone is looking for a guarantee on such things, then they are setting themselves up for disappointment. That said, I would agree, however, that a man or a woman who waits for marriage is probably more likely to be faithful than one who doesn't.