Surrogacy.... Is it of God?

[chainofjewels]

Is it wrong to be a surrogate. I noticed Abrahams wife Sarah could not bare so she told Abraham to concieve with the servant girl.
And due to science we are able to concieve a baby and inject it in a healthy woman to make a baby.
But then I am stuck with all the faces of foster children that are in need of loving parents.
I was thinking of becoming a surrogate due to reasons I am to ashamed to write. Just need your advice in what I should do.
I want to be under Gods grace. Live my life for Gods Glory. And Love the Lord with all my heart and soul.

 

[Sabertooth]

The Bible doesn't speak to modern surrogacy practices, so the best you can do is look at surrounding issues and ask God for wisdom.

Old-school "surrogacy" was really just "polygyny." It was actually prescribed in some parts of OT Hebrew Law for land-legacy issues (as an example) that don't apply to [us?] Gentiles. In those cases, children remained with their birth mothers.

In the New Testament, Paul writes that elders and deacons "should be the husband of one wife," i.e. monogamous. [1Tim. 3:2, 12; Titus 1:6]

(It should be noted that nowhere in the Bible does polygyny disqualify individuals from being Christians, just Christian leadership. In America, it is indirectly forbidden, because God expects us to obey the laws of the land [per Rom. 13:1-5].)

For modern surrogacy, here are some considerations:

1. Some fertility techniques (like in vitro), by themselves, do not constitute sin, but their current strategy is to establish multiple embryos at one time and deliberately abort all, but the most successful one.
2. I believe that God holds parents responsible for their own children's well-being (while we are alive, anyway). It would be irresponsible to turn your own children over to the care of strangers without any oversight whatsoever. If someone mistreats your children, YOU (and their father) are expected to be their advocate, legal contracts not withstanding. You need to treat your own eggs with the same respect, because any child that comes from them will be your child, regardless of said legal contract. Egg donation from a near family member is less problematic in this area.
3. If the egg & sperm are both provided by the original couple (and no deliberate abortion is planned), I don't see any conflict with God's Word that you would avail your womb for the process. Because medicine is not an exact science, there may be some natural/physiological reasons for failure that nobody could anticipate (i.e. complications during your pregnancy). Some might consider that to be taking unnecessary chances with the embryo's life.

I hope this helps.

 

[hedrick]

I'm not sure it's wise, but the OT has a couple of examples: use of a concubine to have children when the wife was unable (e.g. Abraham), and having children by a brother of the husband if the husband dies childless.

It seems to me that if modern techniques were available, OT folk would have used them.

 

[akmom]

Can you clarify the position you are in? Do you mean that you yourself want to be a surrogate mother for another couple (e.g., carry their child), or are you seeking a surrogate mother to carry your own child because of fertility concerns?

It's tempting to jump to the Abraham/Sarah/Hagar scenario for biblical reference, but I don't really think it applies. Hagar wasn't really having a baby for Abraham and Sarah. She was having a baby for Abraham, and acted as his (Ishmael's) mother. It really isn't the same role as a surrogate mother. I think surrogacy is more akin to a wet nurse. Before the days of baby formula, a mother who couldn't breastfeed her child would solicit another lactating woman to feed her child for her until it was old enough to wean. (Think of Moses, whose own mother acted as his wet nurse via his sister's prompting.) I think with surrogacy, you are soliciting another woman to gestate your child for you because there is some medical reason you cannot do it yourself. It's a little more involved than a wet nurse, but ultimately it involves having another woman help you keep your baby alive for a period of time because you are medically unable to do so. Conception still occurs outside the surrogate's body and involves the biological parents (ideally), and the baby is surrendered back to the biological parents after the pregnancy. It's not like you are expecting to become someone's second wife/concubine.

That's my take on it at least. I think Sabertooth brought up some good considerations. You are definitely taking a risk when you let a surrogate gestate your baby, because you have no control over what she does with her body that affects the baby. And a surrogate definitely has a serious responsibility, and should make sure she and the biological parents are on the same page about everything, so that no one is blindsided by the other's demands and/or choices.

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

But then I am stuck with all the faces of foster children that are in need of loving parents.

That's a hard one, but many of these foster kids don't want a stranger adopting them. Also it sometimes take many year for these kids to be free for adoption. Some kids end up going back to their parents many time. Then they end up in different or sometime the same foster homes . Finally after many years they may be free for adoption. Anyways it's time consuming and it's hard to deal with the bio parents. I'm not saying don't go that route. But it's a tough way to go, you have to be strong to foster/ adopt.

 

[chainofjewels]

I am becoming a surrogate. While i was off the comp I actually got to meet the parents that I will be a surrogate for. Now here is the most ironic thing. my middle name is Sarah spelled backwards in spanish Yaras. I was blessed with 5 beautiful children all natural births and It has been in my mind for many years in becoming a surrogate. The only thing that was stoping me was my financial situation. Now that we are doing better(BLESSED) Thanks to Jesus I am healthy. I would like to be able to help another couple. I just wanted to find out if it was going against Gods will. I would like do this all for Gods Glory nothing else. Thank you for your replies. Please Keep us in your prayers that God may be with us and guide us every step of the way.

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

Congrats. I don't think surrogate is bad at all. I don't think God would be upset. If you feel it's the right thing. Go for it.

 

[ButterflyPoette]

I don't know. There will always be that emotional attachment to a child that you carried. Personally, I don't believe in surrogate pregnancy unless it is with relatives.

 

[akmom]

I was thinking of becoming a surrogate due to reasons I am to ashamed to write.

and

I would like do this all for Gods Glory nothing else.

So which is it? I have an acquaintance who did it for the money, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. She took good care of herself during the pregnancy and delivered healthy twins. She did become attached to them, but not to the extent that she wanted to keep them or anything. She already had children of her own. But she still receives regular updates on the twins, and occasionally visits the family, because they stayed close. It's quite a bonding experience, whether you do it to help out a friend/family member, or for the income.

I also had a family member who chose to be a surrogate for free, to help out another family member with fertility problems. But it didn't work out, because they could never get a fertilized egg. Either way, I think it can be a wonderful thing, just like being a wet nurse was in the days of old. (It is my understanding that wet nurses were compensated as well.)