For a week or two before taking an overdose, Whitney had alluded to me that there was "drama" amongst her closest church friends, but she refused to talk to me and said that the issue had to stay in the church youth group. The group has adult leadership.
Whitney had a mutual crush on a boy in the group but he told her he couldn't have a relationship now. Two girls in the group, one who may also be crushing on the boy, told Whitney that he had recently been kicked out of his house for being sexually inappropriate with a girl. Whitney wasn't sure if this story was told to her out of jealousy or to protect her from the boy. She asked the boy and he confirmed the story to be true. He asked her not to tell anyone else in the group. Whitney was overwhelmed with worry for the boy who was homeless at Christmastime and very disappointed that her crush wasn't "all that". Seeking advice, Whitney went to a young adult who has a leadership role in the group.
The story got back to the boy and he wrote to Whitney on Facebook about how upset he was over her betrayal. He did, however, tell her that their friendship was still intact. Whitney felt sick about going to the adult and worried that the adult was spreading information to others in the group. The boy told her the adult was not to be trusted.
Some of Whitney's friends -- this group? another group? -- were getting together on New Year's Eve, but Whitney told me that she didn't feel like partying. That was fine. At 15, I don't think she is old enough to party with anyone but family, anyway.
Just before midnight my husband and I went to bed, feeling too tired to stay up. We left our two teens watching the celebrations on tv, one on his PSP and Whitney on Facebook, with a buffet of snacks still on the coffee table.
My husband and I didn't sleep at all.
Whitney had read an article in a teen magazine about a girl who died from taking an overdose of ibuprofen. The story mentioned the girl's size and how many pills she took. Whitney calculated that if she took just a few more pills than the small girl, she would die, too. No sooner than we went to bed, our son turned in too and Whitney started taking pills two at a time.
She messaged another young adult leader of the youth group and asked him what he would do if she "died in an accident or something". He blew her off, refocussing the conversation on his own drama, inappropriate for a leader who is 10-years her senior and a youth counsellor in-training. Surely he has suicide prevention training?! He didn't question why she asked what she did. They said goodnight and she kept taking pills.
She texted yet another friend, a boy from school who is not in the group. She told him she had taken many pills. He insisted that she tell me or that he would call the police and come over to our house. She took two more pills and then knocked on my bedroom door.
We were at the hospital in less than fifteen minutes. Whitney was helped immediately in the ER by a nurse. She was given activated charcoal to drink which she glugged promptly, despite saying she was angry that she wasn't dead.
While we waited for the doctor, Whitney told me the story of what had happened in the hour before she came to me. She also showed me that she had been cutting herself with scissors down her side. The girl with a bikini body has a long scar now.
Nine hours later a mental health crisis worker visited with her and recommended she be admitted. Three hours later, twelve hours after it all began, she was in a hospital bed for the first of six days.
She's been home since Friday afternoon. Her counsellors and I are still not clear if she is suffering clinical depression and anxiety or if her stress was situational to this incident with her youth group. A physician is still monitoring potential damage to her kidneys. Time will tell how healthy she is, I'm told. She'll see a counsellor again at the end of the week.
Just a few months ago I took suicide prevention training. I never would have guessed my daughter was at risk. I trusted the leaders at church and her counsellors at school -- the other adults she confided in -- to keep her safe.
I am very thankful that one smart teenager knew exactly what to say and do to keep Whitney alive.
The Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide | Teen Suicide Prevention
