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Discussion in 'Spiritual Formation & Disciplines' started by SongOnTheWind, Jun 1, 2022.

  1. SongOnTheWind

    SongOnTheWind Well-Known Member

    United Kingdom
    Ok, i struggle with this one. I am a woman, and my husband is aggressive; who is also financially, psychologically, and emotionally abusive. I believe he is what psychologists would term a narcissist, and exerts coercive control, which in the uk, is becoming recognised more and more as an actual crime punishable by law. What constitutes as evidence is not always clear, but there have been cases in court that have penalised the abusers who committed said crimes. This has happened after a young woman died at the hands of her abuser because the law turned a blind eye and discovered the extent of the abuse too late.

    Anyways, enough about me, this is really about the Word of God.

    I understand that all of God's Word is true, and we cannot just have a pick and mix buffet up in here. I also know that God's Word does not contradict itself, although at times it may seem to, or we (men and women alike) just not smart enough to understand the Word without the help of the Holy Spirit.

    So, with all this in mind, here are some scriptures to consider:

    Galatians 3:28
    There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

    Ephesians 5:22-31
    Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

    25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

    And just for emphasis, the two prior verses to this passage:

    Ephesians 5:20-22
    20 giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.

    Galatians 3:13
    Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us (for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree”)

    Thank you for your thoughts, i look forward to answering the question in polite discussion.
  2. Watchman1

    Watchman1 Senior Veteran Supporter

    New Zealand
    You never have to submit yourself to a domestic abuser. It will never go away. It starts with psychological and emotional abuse, and it always develops into physical abuse. You need an escape strategy and be prepared to walk out to a safe place the moment he even pushes you physically. If your pastor and church elders won't help you, then get away from that church. I suggest that you speak to a police department domestic abuse officer for advice. There are agencies and women's refuges that can help you. Get someone from your church to inform your husband that you and they will not tolerate any continuance of the abuse and that if he does not listen, the marriage is over. The moment he became abusive to you, he is no longer walking in the Spirit, and is walking in the works of the flesh, and the genuineness of any conversion to Christ he professes is in question. It will take courage to take your stand against the abuse, and if you even sense that your life might be in danger, get down to the Court and file a no notice restraining order against your husband. In New Zealand we call it a protection order. It imposes conditions on your husband where he is not permitted to psychological or emotionally abuse you, raise his voice at you, engage in threatening behaviour (and I add using Scripture to threaten you with punishment from God for being an unsubmissive wife), and definitely not to lay a hand on you in physical violence of any kind. If he does, you can call the police and they will be right there to take him to jail.

    I was a Court Victim Adviser specialising in domestic violence for ten years before I retired, so I think I know what I am talking about. I had two clients murdered by their abusive husbands, so I know how important it is to keep yourself safe.
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  3. SongOnTheWind

    SongOnTheWind Well-Known Member

    United Kingdom
    Thank you for this! I have been trying to leave him for some time now. God bless you. And I am still genuinely curious about the scriptures I posted about, although I am sure God doesn't want me to stay in danger.

    Stay blessed Oscarr, wish there were more like you out there. We need each other so we can all stand together. A divided house cannot stand.
  4. com7fy8

    com7fy8 Well-Known Member Supporter

    United States
    I think you have shared good scriptures.

    I understand that the scripture saying for wives to submit to their husbands while husbands love their wives is for Christian couples. And the man is being submissive to God. And his lady is also first submissive to God so He has her submitting to her husband the way God means.

    But what if a man is abusive? You do what any of us need to do in relating with cruel people. First be submissive to God, and find out what He has us doing. God can make you clear.

    You can talk with someone who knows you well and you trust this person. And do what comes with agreement in prayer.

    SANTOSO Well-Known Member

    Beloved ones, we heard:

    “Blessed are the MEEK,

    For they shall inherit the earth.”

    ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:5‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

    Meek is defined by Oxford language as quiet, gentle, and easily imposed on; submissive.

    So we perceive and understand those are submissive are blessed.

    To whom we should be submissive to ? This is what we have heard:

    “Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with MEEKNESS the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.”

    ‭‭James‬ ‭1:21‬ ‭KJV‬‬

    Meekness is defined by Oxford language as the fact or condition of being meek; submissiveness

    So the fact or condition of being meek is that we should receive the engrafted word. Or in other words, we should be submissive to the engrafted word, who is Christ whom the Father sent and the Holy Spirit testified.

    So we who submit to the engrafted word are blessed, for we shall inherit the earth.

    How we may perceive and understand that we inherit the earth ?

    This is what we have heard:

    “And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying, Behold, a sower went forth to sow; and when he sowed, some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up: some fell upon stony places, where they had not much EARTH: and forthwith they sprung up, because they HAD NO DEEPNESS OF EARTH:”

    ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭13:3-5‬ ‭KJV‬‬

    How we may perceive and understand the earth that our Lord spoke? This is what we have heard our Lord explained:

    “Hear ye therefore the parable of the sower. When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away THAT WHICH WAS SOWN IN HIS HEART. This is he which received seed by the way side. But he that received the seed into stony places, THE SAME IS is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it; yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended.”

    ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭13:18-21‬ ‭KJV‬‬

    So the earth that the Lord spoke is the heart.

    This is what we also heard what apostle Peter said:

    “but let it be the hidden man of the HEART, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a MEEK and quiet SPIRIT, which is in the sight of God of great price.”

    ‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭3:4‬ ‭KJV‬‬

    So we who inherit the earth — we who inherit the hidden man of the HEART, in that which is not corruptible who is Christ, the engrafted word.

    For we heard,”Blessed are the MEEK,

    For they shall inherit the earth.”Therefore we who receive the engrafted word who is Christ are blessed.

    For we also heard Holy Spirit said :

    “For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel After those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, And WRITE THEM IN THEIR HEARTS: And I will be to them a God, And they shall be to me a people:”

    ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭8:10‬ ‭KJV‬‬

    So let our hearts be ornated with a MEEK and quiet Spirit, that the Holy Spirit writes in our hearts the engrafted word, which is in the sight of God of great price.

    So the meek or the ones who submit to the engrafted word are blessed, for they inherit the earth, that they inherit the hidden man of the heart who is Christ.

    So let us submissive to Christ’s words, that we may be blessed, for we shall inherit Christ.

    For we heard:

    “The earth is the LORD's, and the fulness thereof; The world, and they that dwell therein.”

    ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭24:1‬ ‭KJV‬‬

    So let our hearts be the Lord’s, and the fullness thereof.

    So His words reign our hearts, that Christ reigns our hearts, that we submit ourselves to the king of our hearts.

    So the meek are blessed because Jesus Christ our King reign our hearts, for we inherit the earth through Jesus Christ our King and priest, that we inherit the heart of our King and priest that we submit to God.

    To God the Father be all glory and thanksgiving through Christ.Amen