struggling

[fadedglory]

I have depression/anxiety. I also have an eating disorder. I go through periods where I don't eat. When I do eat, I usually end up purging as much of it up as I can.

I want to stop, but I just can't seem to stop. For me, everything seems a little bit better when I don't eat. and when I purge, it relieves stress.

But I do realize that what I'm doing isn't healthy. This isn't what god wants for me.

 

[goldenviolet]

ah, we meet again! i answered another post of yours in self esteem. our EDs are intwined with our emotional state. we somehow end up reacting to food in our distress, or happiness. doctors say it's partially genetic/chemical and partially phycological/emotional... it is considered a disease by many... each of us has to learn just how this applies or doesn't apply to us. again, because i suggested it in your other post: write down your ED habits, and get a doctor appointment. ask for information, referals, and perhaps even inquire in your area for over-eaters annonymus. bless your heart.
i understand you have alot of trials right now. a comfort for you is that you came to a wonderful online community of support, compassion, and friendships. xo, dee

 

[fadedglory]

i have made an appointment with a counselor. so we'll see how it goes.

 

[goldenviolet]

awesome! i'm proud of you for having such a determination towards personal growth! i've lived with my EDs since second grade. long story, but had serious triggers. those, unfortunately are imprinted on my brain. i still have obbsessions and triggers or temptations. i'm still in theraphy too (i'm quite an interresting pacient). lol... i adore the seasons of health... and run from the seasons of errors... so, you really have have a supportive community here. it's nice to share our frustations about our ED exsperiances. if you can, update us on the resources or ideas you learn of. xo dee

 

[Celtic Camel]

as dee has said, you have found such a supportive community here! so welcome!

this forum is one of the few places I have found where I can be honest in my struggles and not feel judged for my failings, because others truly understand.

so I hope you feel at home here, and find some encouragement to keep up the fight for freedom and God's best.

love & prayers,