- Dec 8, 2004
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I havent cut in nearly two weeks, maybe more. Which is really great. But the problem is, the only thing that has stopped me from cutting is the fact on sunday i'm being baptised, and i dont feel right getting baptised when my arms have cuts on them. Scars you cant do anything about so i figured to adopt the attitude of "even though i seek perfection i wear my scars with pride" because i am proud that they are only scars!!!!!
Anyways, erm, yea.....i just really really really have strong urges to cut though, i know things are harder because Satans after me because of what a big step im taking in getting baptised, so things were bound to be rough this week, and i didnt exactly help matters by dying my hair bright red (i love my hair now tho) and it just seems all my pain is locked inside.
I need some prayer big time, i need God's strength in me until Sunday because i really really dont want to cut before my baptism, i dont want to cut ever again really but looking at it realistically i still have the pain of my past to deal with thru therapy so my arms my cop it a few more times. Still. Yea....I'm Struggling...
Anyways, erm, yea.....i just really really really have strong urges to cut though, i know things are harder because Satans after me because of what a big step im taking in getting baptised, so things were bound to be rough this week, and i didnt exactly help matters by dying my hair bright red (i love my hair now tho) and it just seems all my pain is locked inside.
I need some prayer big time, i need God's strength in me until Sunday because i really really dont want to cut before my baptism, i dont want to cut ever again really but looking at it realistically i still have the pain of my past to deal with thru therapy so my arms my cop it a few more times. Still. Yea....I'm Struggling...