Struggling yet again...

[NoddaProbBob]

well, I have to say, it's been about 26 days without cutting....and I feel miserable
why don't I feel better about this. Urges have been ok, and I've been fighting the want. So what is wrong with me?

Cutting was my way to let out how I was feeling because I couldn't convey how I felt. And now that I'm not, I feel 100% completely miserable. I've broken down in conversation almost twice now with a friend of mine, and I feel like I'm messing up everything. I can't explain it. I just feel miserable.

Im so lost

 

[EIChief]

well, I have to say, it's been about 26 days without cutting....and I feel miserable
why don't I feel better about this. Urges have been ok, and I've been fighting the want. So what is wrong with me?

Cutting was my way to let out how I was feeling because I couldn't convey how I felt. And now that I'm not, I feel 100% completely miserable. I've broken down in conversation almost twice now with a friend of mine, and I feel like I'm messing up everything. I can't explain it. I just feel miserable.

Im so lost

Hey Nodda...Let me say that Steff and the rest of our team has you in our prayers...We all know you can pull through, 26 days is a great accomplishment for anyone who is trying to overcome an addiction or disorder whether it is cutting, smoking, drugs, or even over eating.

If you could find some other way to release your feelings, something you could channel that energy into, you may find that the need to cut is diminished over time.

My hope is that you can seek counseling to get to the bottom of what is causing those feelings, and then have help in finding a way to release those feelings and that energy into a positive experience for you

God Bless

 

[tapero]

Hi,

I think you're doing great hon. What are some alternatives you can do with those feelings?

I just am so proud of you, and I am praying for you.

Love, tapero

 

[beckybooiloveu]

well, I have to say, it's been about 26 days without cutting....and I feel miserable
why don't I feel better about this. Urges have been ok, and I've been fighting the want. So what is wrong with me?

Cutting was my way to let out how I was feeling because I couldn't convey how I felt. And now that I'm not, I feel 100% completely miserable. I've broken down in conversation almost twice now with a friend of mine, and I feel like I'm messing up everything. I can't explain it. I just feel miserable.

Im so lost

Wow... that is a really really great achievement!!! well done. I'm not good at giving advice or anything... but i will try hehe...
Firstly when you feel like cutting think about how far you have come... 26 days is a really good achievment... and its not easy to get that far. Think about how is would effect you if you did cut... it would make getting back up to that 26 days again hard... you have come sooo far. Do you really want to go back. Being a cutter myself I know how hard it is to stop once you start again... and im sure you know what I mean by that. So do you really want to put yourself through that really hard time of initially stopping all over again? You can do it!!!

ok... once you realise how well you are doing, try to distract yourself... find something to channel your energy or feelings into to take your mind off the urge... things like journalling, exercise, talking to a friend, watching TV, posting on CF (i find encouraging other people helps me feel better), cooking, reading... anything that will take your mind off the urge.

I believe you can do this... you have shown alot of strength to make it to 26 days, keep your head up and keep up the good work! I will be praying for you!

 

[ConcreteAngel]

well, I have to say, it's been about 26 days without cutting....and I feel miserable
why don't I feel better about this. Urges have been ok, and I've been fighting the want. So what is wrong with me?

Cutting was my way to let out how I was feeling because I couldn't convey how I felt. And now that I'm not, I feel 100% completely miserable. I've broken down in conversation almost twice now with a friend of mine, and I feel like I'm messing up everything. I can't explain it. I just feel miserable.

Im so lost

Hi There...I've recently self-harmed a few times after having not done it for quite a while and i feel such a strong urge to do it. I can completely relate to not feeling like you can let your feelings out any other way...but good on you for not cutting for so long...that's great! As for alternatives for letting stuff out...this will sound really crazy...but i went out in the middle of nowhere (i live very much in the country) and just screamed and screamed...it felt good...I also did it in the car on the motorway....it just sort of relieved some of the pressure/tension/hurt/frustration inside.....oh well, that's just something i came up with when i was really really desperate the other day and felt like driving into a tree!!

Keep fighting.

Love CA

 

[LazeyWinde]

*Hugs Nod*
You don't have to hurt yourself, you can resist this. Self harm is an addiction, that's why you still get the urge. Distraction is what helps me most of the time. When I'm really going bonkers I'll glue stuff together... like popsicle sticks or scraps or junkmail. Kinda strange but it keeps me from cutting.

 

[Everlasting33]

well, I have to say, it's been about 26 days without cutting....and I feel miserable
why don't I feel better about this. Urges have been ok, and I've been fighting the want. So what is wrong with me?

Cutting was my way to let out how I was feeling because I couldn't convey how I felt. And now that I'm not, I feel 100% completely miserable. I've broken down in conversation almost twice now with a friend of mine, and I feel like I'm messing up everything. I can't explain it. I just feel miserable.

Im so lost

I am sorry you are feeling so bad. I understand the feeling and the frustration that is associated with SI.
A possible explanation is that your body and mind are fighting an addiction. Just like the smoker who is trying to break the habit goes through withdrawl, you are probably going through a period of similar withdrawl.
If cutting was your way of letting out your feelings, and you have stopped that--then of course it is going to be a painful time!

Just hang in there because I can tell you have a lot of heart and just believe in overcoming!!!!

 

[angelkiss]

well, I have to say, it's been about 26 days without cutting....and I feel miserable
why don't I feel better about this. Urges have been ok, and I've been fighting the want. So what is wrong with me?

Cutting was my way to let out how I was feeling because I couldn't convey how I felt. And now that I'm not, I feel 100% completely miserable. I've broken down in conversation almost twice now with a friend of mine, and I feel like I'm messing up everything. I can't explain it. I just feel miserable.

Im so lost

Change can sometimes be hard. And, when you're used to a way of life for so long, that's when it seems to be hardest. But, you can and will get through this. We are all so very proud of you and we're here for you. Once you get used to using other coping skills, you may still have your thoughts of SI'ing, but it will become easier not to.
Our prayers are with you!!

 

[EIChief]

Thanks to everyone who offered other alternative methods for cutting to release the feelings. This is absolutely one of the best ways to conquer the addiction, as you move from self harm to a harmless activity such as screaming etc...

With proper counseling you can then find a method by which you can channel that energy into something you are passionate about that can actually be productive. When you accomplish this the results can be amazing...

I wish you and everyone the best as you continue down your paths to full recovery!

God Bless

 

[knowtomorrow]

aww babe. i believe that you can over come this. a month!! thats a very impressive time to not harm yourself.
im reading this book called "dont sweat the small stuff, and its all small stuff" .. you should read it, its really cool. i suffer from self half also, since i was 13-14.. so i know what its like to want to lash out at yourself.
have faith girl, you can do this.
many thoughts
xxxalwaysxxx