Struggling with mental health and my religious identity

[WinglessDragon]

I'm not sure how much sense this will make but hopefully it makes sense. I'm struggling with my mental health, depression, self harm, self image, and I'm struggling with my spiritual identity.

I have struggled with my mental health for a long time: mostly starting when I was 12, and I started having anxiety and intrusive thoughts. At the time I was dabbling in Christianity, but I think my views got distorted. I thought that I was getting the intrusive thoughts because I had done something wrong in a past life, or something was wrong was me, and I was going to go to hell. I think this created so much stress that something snapped. I started my continued interest in the occult then, but back then I actually worshipped Lucifer. I can't shake that part of me, I still come back to it. <staff edit> I feel like I'm more than one person sometimes, like there's that part of me and then the part of me right now that wants help and realizes something is wrong.

I've always been a theist. Christian, satanist, and now a devoted wiccan. I guess religion has always been linked with my mental health but I've never had a healthy relationship with it. I guess it feels like I'm missing something. I truly dont know what, or who, I should turn to anymore.

 

[Tigger45]

I’d suggest seeking professional help ASAP.

God’s peace and wisdom be with you

 

[Basil the Great]

Trigger45 sounds to be on track here. You could probably benefit from talking to a mental health professional and I believe that Canada has a pretty sound mental health system. Peace be with you, WinglessDragon.

 

[drjean]

A strong Christian minister might help too... once a person gets into the practices of satan, one might need help overcoming that to turn to God. I'd say remove every thing that you got when you were into that because any item is an open window for their power over you...fwik. I wouldn't keep even one candle or anything! That could be the draw you feel.

We are praying for you, that God will give you calm and peace and draw you to Him.

 

[paul1149]

I've always been a theist. Christian, satanist, and now a devoted wiccan. I guess religion has always been linked with my mental health but I've never had a healthy relationship with it. I guess it feels like I'm missing something. I truly dont know what, or who, I should turn to anymore.

I speak as a Christian of almost 40 years, religion is a problem. When we try to perform, to keep all the rules and regulations, and an unbridled conscience continually tells us we're not good enough, something's got to give. As Joni Mitchell once wrote, "guru books, the Bible - only a reminder that we're just not good enough."

Jesus offers something entirely different. He came to give us salvation, and love and acceptance, because we could not earn them on our own. "We love because He first loved us," the Bible tells us. There's power in the name of Jesus. Even those who use it as a curse word are implicitly confirming that, otherwise they would find another name to use. So if things ever get difficult, think about Him. Try talking to Him and calling His name, and it might be a peace to you.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. -jn 3.16​

For, “Whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved.” -Rom 10:13

 

[Southernscotty]

Stop what you are doing, Throw out all that demonic garbage, Get on your knees and repent of your "religion" Ask Jesus Christ into your heart and be washed by His cleansing.