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Struggling with great temptations.

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CMR5278

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Hi, I'm a 36 year old mother of 2. My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years. I rededicated my life back to God about 2 years ago. Before that I had lived a Bi-sexual life, was addicted to porn and drugs. Recently my husband who is not a believer has been tempting me with some aspects of my old nature/life. Understand I am a small group leader in my church. I am ashamed to let others know that I am struggling with these temptations. It's so embarrassing to think of others in the church or even my friends knowing that I am thinking about a compromise of my beliefs just for momentary pleasure. I know that I will regret it if I do it. I know that it could destroy my marriage. A marriage that is amazing right now as we have worked hard to learn to communicate with each other and respect each other's beliefs.
My husband doesn't know that what he is doing is tempting me away from God. I know that it is the enemy working through him.
Really I have no clue why I am posting this here other than that it feels safer to post rather than tell someone face to face. The Bible says that when we confess our sins one to another we can pray for each other and be healed. I thought I was healed of these desires and addiction but I guess I left an empty space for Satan to creep in or a window open for him to crawl through. I know I need support. I know that iron sharpens iron and so I need someone to be accountable to (irl most importantly) so I guess that's why I'm here.
God hasn't shut me out. He is with me. He continues to speak 4 words to me throughout this tempting time. "Don't stop seeking me." He just repeats those words over and over to me. "Don't stop seeking me." And I haven't but I also haven't stopped checking out my husband's video collection or thinking about women. But I want to stop the sin and receive all that God has for me.
Anyone else overcome this type of issue? Can you give me any advice? I am not looking for a sugar-coated answer. Be real with me. Thank you for listening and in advance for responding.
 
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Robin Shawn

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Hello, I have overcome, with the Holy Spirit's help, similar problems like you are facing. It has been a year, three months, and one day, and I can testify there is freedom in Christ - it is possible. Here is what the Spirit has taught me.

To overcome sexual sin, first I needed to understand God's purpose for sex, then I needed to submit to His purpose. I was asking myself, "Is God's purpose for sex for me to use it for my own selfish pleasure?" Surely not. His purpose is the conception of life (His purpose is conceiving children), and, when we negate that purpose and use sex for our own selfish pleasure, it is wrong - it is sin.

So, knowing the truth, I submitted to God's purpose, becoming celibate since I am not married. The fear of the Lord was a valuable help to do this. Asking myself, "Is it safe to use my reproductive system to get a 'high' off my body?", I concluded, surely not. It is very dangerous - a selfish, dangerous pleasure that goes against the Lord's purposes and will destroy me eventually if I don't overcome.

Thirdly, I drew near to the Lord for strength, and He continued to help me. The Lord says that His people perish for lack of knowledge. Knowing the truth, I was able to overcome. I am still tempted at times, but I easily overcome those temptations now - the sin crosses my mind but has no power over me; I just remind myself of God's truth about sex, that it is not for my own selfish pleasure.

<staff edit>

I am praying for you, and, as the Lord freed me, He will you.

-Shawn
 
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Heb122

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Hi:

First, I would like to express that I'm really proud of you for bringing this into the light. I have been right where you are before. Got delivered after being in church for 20+ years and then still faced temptations. There is no easy way out but to keep drinking from the fountain of the fresh living water that our Savior provides. Our flesh desires to drink salt water which only leads to dehydration and more thirst.

I just created a group 'Door of Hope' on this website which you can access through my profile right here on christianforums.com. I'm hoping to get enough people to go through an online bible study I've used before for this purpose. The link to the bible study is in the group description. This will help us all to apply very specific Word of God to our circumstances and provide daily encouragement and fellowship.

God bless you
 
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Johnnz

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Past habits can remain in our memories and suddenly spring to life due to some event. That does not make you a bad person, or an insincere Christian, just one who needs to be vigilant and self controlled while that activation is present.

Maybe some aspects of you sexual life together need some reflection. Maybe there is some sense of dissatisfaction, unfullfillment or boredom with sex for you?

John
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dms1972

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That is great that you have re-dedicated your life back to God. I believe He honors our seeking Him and seeking help. It is very honest of you to talk, and it is difficult to be open in a church setting, or to find trusted people to be supportive. In fact there several reasons why it might be unwise to always be totally open with others in community setting. Its not necessary for you to talk in detail. I do think you need to find ministry resources to strengthen you and I would recommend Clay and Mary McLean which you can find online - also Pastoral Care Ministries and Leanne Payne. They record teaching CDs that would be different from much standard sermon material. If you can get hold of some of their teaching which ministers as you listen to it, it would help you I believe. I pray God will bring an appropriate accountablity partner to you.


This is very similiar to the way that I opened a door through certain films to a struggle that has almost at times has claimed my sanity.


You might also find helpful Leanne Payne's book Listening Prayer - there is a section in which she discusses : The retired sphere of the leasts. I never would have understood that but its from Oswald Chambers - sometimes we are tempted on our strongpoints, or areas were we have been strong (not strongholds) in or perhaps have received much healing in.

I'm not in ministry or anything but I have heard of others who have ministries having battles, even after a lot of healing in their lives - that is particularly why I mention Clay and Mary McLean for they understand this sort of thing.
 
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Kingsdotter

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The issue is, if u fall back into sin; u will feel guilty. U will be dissapointed in yourself and u may feel further away from God, also sin exposes u to the devil.

U need to take some time off your normal schedule, go to a quiet place and be alone with God in prayer and bible study. This should give u enough spiritual strength to overcome this temptation. Prayng for u.
 
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TheyCallMeDavid

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I beg to differ with you because your husband DOES know what he is doing by trying to entice you back into the sexually illicit culture again ; he knows you are a Christian and that Christ is your whole life . He knows you've been forgiven by God and that you are no longer enslaved to a dangerous anti-godly existence . <staff edit> he somehow gets 'justification' out of staying far from God if he gets you away from God, and/or , he has a reprobate Mind that just wants whatever it wants without any sense whatsoever of the ramifications .

What to do ? <staff edit> you need to express to him to NEVER EVER tempt you again into the lifestyle that God has totally forgiven you over. Lastly, you need female group accountability / ongoing therapy with a Professional or at least a very trusted Friend of the same sex / and you need to understand that you are in a real war for your Soul with both your husband and Satan being partners to ruin you., your Christian testimony, and to Satan much ground in your life and marriage . Sadly, you are in a very bad place right now in your life, and youre going to be spiritually attacked from all sides.

Youll need to be bathed in prayer from other Fellow Believers and a very strong resolve to stand your ground in CHrist. You will need to learn SPiritual Warfare techniques to battle this as well as getting tough with your wayward infidel husband.
 
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MDCSWildcats86

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Johnnz said:
Past habits can remain in our memories and suddenly spring to life due to some event. That does not make you a bad person, or an insincere Christian, just one who needs to be vigilant and self controlled while that activation is present.
Click to expand...


I know where you are coming from. I've had some memories of pre-saved habits flare up, tempting me to relapse.

I explained online to a woman I used to know in person, and she understood.
She told me she would have felt violated had I caved in. We both thanked God I did not succumb.
 
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