stopping to smoke/cutting

[Dianna_Child of God]

I have tried to stop smoking a lot of times. Usually throws me into a massive depression and I end up cutting. I am trying to make the choice not to cut and do other things when the urge hurts.

My Pastor knows about this as my husband is redoing the bathroom(he is not a Christian) and he was telling the Pastor that last time I tried to stop the self harm got really bad and asked if he could keep an eye too when at the church for signs of depression and all that.

My Pastor and I talked some today. After therapy I went right to the church. Knew if I came home I would get smokes from my neighbor or go to the store.
He made it very clear that he would rather see me smoking than doing anything to hurt myself. He is a very understanding man. He smoked till about 10 years ago. He told me he understand addictions and most people in the church are recovering addicts or are going through recovery.

Please pray I can stay strong and be able to put smokes down and at the same time not self harm. I need lots of prayers.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

Have you talked with your therapist about what you think the connection is between smoking and depression/self-harm?

There's a list at the top of this forum with ideas on ways to not self-harm, just FYI.

Praying for you.

 

[Jonathan95]

Praying for you!

 

[Dianna_Child of God]

Have you talked with your therapist about what you think the connection is between smoking and depression/self-harm?

There's a list at the top of this forum with ideas on ways to not self-harm, just FYI.

Praying for you.

Yes we did talk about this last time self-harmed happened. It doesn't help I can't use any of the aids to help because they really mess with something in my meds. Yeah I have a whole list of coping skills. Wish I could say they worked. Right now the only coping skill that is getting me through is prayer(which is the best coping skill to be able to use).

I am amazed how tired and unfocused I am. I don't know why. This happens every time I try to quit. Just feel like I am walking around in a massive fog.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

When I gave up self-injury, I grieved for it. It was a big loss in my life. It was something that had become my need and my companion. Even though I hated it, I wanted it.

I would imagine that not smoking is a bit like that... you've lost something now, and you're grieving it's loss.

 

[Dianna_Child of God]

When I gave up self-injury, I grieved for it. It was a big loss in my life. It was something that had become my need and my companion. Even though I hated it, I wanted it.

I would imagine that not smoking is a bit like that... you've lost something now, and you're grieving it's loss.

Yes that is how it is. I went a few years without self harms and yes I grieved that. It was always there for me. Smoking is the same. I feel like I am missing something...the nicotine is easy to beat, it is the habit. It is hard right now because I am not focused. I was so glad I could be a church for a few hours this morning because they helped a lot. Tomorrow my husband works so I can't go in.
A few of my friends are going to have to understand that I can't really hang out with them for a bit because I will cave and smoke.

I want to be strong. I want to do this without adding more pain and scars.