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Still thinking about and missing my ex...from 4 years ago!

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sweetmercy

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So, I've noticed that I constantly think about, and sometimes miss, my ex-boyfriend that I broke up with 4 years ago! Is this normal?? We were together for 2 years, and lived together for about 6 months (I wasn't living my faith back then...mostly because of him). I loved him and we were close but he wasn't really a "quality" guy and I missed God and living my faith, and knew that I wouldn't be able to be with him long-term. So I broke up with him and moved back in with my parents. It was hard to break up with him because we both still loved each other, but I knew I had to do it to be obedient to God. He moved on fairly quickly and is now married and has a son, while I have been single since then, with the exception of one short relationship. I am SO glad now that I am not still with him, as I now have an amazing and fulfilling life. So why am I still thinking about him???? I don't think about or miss any of my other exes. Does anyone else do this? How do I get over it?
 

WileyCoyote

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Having attachments to previous relationships isn't uncommon (especially if sex was involved) but it's not healthy in my opinion. If the guy was keeping you away from the Lord, then breaking up with him was the right thing to do. Ask the Lord to take these feelings away because it's not right to have them. He is married now, so now he is REALLY off limits. I know, my ex girlfriend and I didn't have a faith-based relationship either. When our relationship (which was really just sexual) ended, she went and got married. I had to cut her from my life and you need to cut this guy from your memory. Entertaining thoughts of him is flirting with disaster.
 
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sweetmercy

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I definately know he is off-limits! We don't keep in contact at all anymore and I have no thoughts of contacting him And I wouldn't say I entertain thoughts of him, just sometimes the thought of him pops into my head and I miss certain things about him or our relationship. Maybe I'm just lonely being single and so he's the most accessible memory I have??? I don't know. I just know that I don't want to miss him!
 
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tartanarmy

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Ok, here is my advice and I'm telling you to get over someone this works probably 98% of the time.
Look at his pictures until your eyes water. Go to the places that you went together. Watch the movies he loved and you both loved. Listen to the songs that remind you of him. DO this over and over and over again. Then do it some more. In about 1-2 weeks you will be totally desensetized and you wont get that squirmy feeling in your tummy whenever his name is mentioned etc etc.

Also we tend to look on the past with the happy glasses. We remeber the good stuff and not why we broke it off or why it ended. All those issues will STILL be there.
 
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GQ Chris

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yes yes yes... it is a very grown up thing and also beneficial thing to do to MOVE ON with your life. You don't have to forget about the memories if you don't want to, but recognize why it ended and move on with life.
 
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20MoreMiles

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Sometimes the devil puts thoughts into our minds. He was keeping you away from God, so God is proud of you that you broke up to maintain your relationship with Him. Ignore Satan's thoughts and try to move on, you're already living a fulfilling life, so just keep doing what you're doing.
 
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GQ Chris

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It's just better to move on with life, learn from the past and not desire the same old thing that was already done. We should be growing in every way, primarily spiritually as Christians, but also as people and in every endeavor in life, not to be limited in any way, and especially not limited to poor decisions made thereby halting our progress because of having to deal with the fallout.
 
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