Still struggling :(trigger warning

[Jo1]

Still struggling with self harm thoughts. I want to do it, I want to hurt myself. I feel so lonely in it all. i dont know why i feel like this. Or why I should. I have everything going for me, a lovely husband, lovely friends.
I dont know how long this is going to go on for.
Why dont i just get it

 

[Bellicus]

What I remember from when I were so deeply depressed that I wanted to harm myself, was that sometimes I avoided things that would cheer me up, because the sadness was really the only emotion that made me calm, and the self-harming kept me down in that sadness. The feeling of completely giving up gave me no stressed feelings. So I avoided things that made me happy, or made me laugh and smile, but I think it were healthy when I started to give up pushing myself down into sadness.

Here is a link to a video where the point is to try not to laugh. I could not help laughing and I am usually really serious and dark in my thoughts.

Here is a link to a video that is about a man that gives other people free hugs. It is really something that gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling, and makes me happy

So if these things is something that make you laugh and smile and make you happy, then maybe you can do things like that more often, to instead of looking at the feelings of wanting to hurt yourself, then looking at things that makes your happy and smile

Just ignore me if these were stupid advices. Good luck, and God bless. Remember that you are valuable to God.

 

[FaithfulWife]

Jo, I have to confess I don't completely understand how you feel in all this because I have not self-injured via cutting, but I want to offer you some hugs and maybe suggest that you think of your self-soothing or coping tricks. Do you have any? Do you have a little list of things that make you feel better?

Here are a couple things that work for me:
* Hugging a teddy bear. (yes, I'm 46yo and I do it anyway )
* MAKE myself go out in the sun.
* Take a warm bath.
* Light candles and incense (I'm a hippie, I tell ya!)
* Turn up music really loud and vacuum.
* Scream-singing almost any Evanescence song.
* Drinking a cup of mint tea
* Soothing Mozart music
* Writing EXACTLY what I think and feel in a journal, even if it's angry and full of swear words or a big old pity party.
* Call a friend
* Go meet someone in the park so I get away from myself.

What things work for you sweetie? Can you do them now?

 

[Fuzzyrug]

Self harm is linked to anxiety or fear, often suppresed anger or desporation is difficult to express, a build up of anxiety chemicals in the blood get a person ready to fight of flight (run away) when we just stand still and take no action we get no relife from the adrenalin buildup so we can self harm, agressive action even if it is at ouselves, its best realy to find a boxing bag or a boxer or go for a long run.

 

[Jo1]

Thanks everyone I dont know why Im struggling with it.
guess perhaps I like the idea of hurting myself so it expresses the emotional pain I feel inside of myself.

 

[Everlasting33]

Jo,

I suspect that the reason that you are still struggling with it is because of the unresolved amount of self-hatred. If we are unable to care for ourselves in a way that speaks love, acceptance, and respect then we will feel the way you are feeling right now.

To heal, you must heal from within. The pain within is still all there and it will just sit there until you take charge. Healing the inner child is a great start for a road of recovery. You must start as soon as you can because you still have a life full of peace and joy waiting for you!!

 

[joyinhislife]

Hi...............I saw your post and it broke my heart! I am a recovering cutter. I used to cut several years ago, because it kind of minimized the emotional pain I was going through at the time. It was like a drug to me, but like any drug, I had to use it more and more often because I grew to tolerate it, and so had to do it more and more. [Sorry if this is gross]
I haven't been cutting now for a long time~~~at least 9 years~~~ but I will never forget it. Sometimes it comes to mind, but it no longer has any power over me, because God took it away one night. He healed me of the urge to cut.
This can happen for you too. You know, when I was berating myself, I found that things got worse. God loves you, and I hope and pray for you, that you will feel saturated with his Love so that you may begin to heal. May God shower your heart with His Gentle Love and Blessings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[EbonNelumbo]

I know how that is, hun. I have a beautiful son of eight months old, and a wonderful husband of just about two years. I have great family and friends and still I feel like hurting myself sometimes. You're not alone sweetie, you need to know this.

Sometimes it just takes something simple, like listening to some upbeat tunes or reading a good book, or sometimes it takes something more, like going to a close friend or your husband and just saying, Look I need you.

 

[musikismylife]

I feel the same. I start crying, and I don't know why, then I end up cutting
I think sometimes it's stress or something. An underlying cause.
A therapist can help you find out why you are doing it.

 

[Jo1]

Thanks everyone apreciate all your comments.
Im still struggling in this I guess i just feel so alone in it all Its really hard.
I just feel so ashamed and just so stupid

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

You hang in there Jo, remember that God wants you to be happy, and doesn't want you to punish yourself, if that is an issue for you I don't know. I used to have that problem with punishing myself, but therapy has helped with that. I hope that you'll get that counselor in the near future, remember you are a child of God made in his image, and is not trying to make you feel like God is punishing you, God does not want to punish his creatures he wants you to be happy, because he loves you. You hang in there. Are you looking forward to christmas? "You have a holly jolly christmas it is the best time of the year, I don't know if there'll be snow, or kissing under the misseltoe." That is a line from a song remember to listen to christmas music, and try not to cry, just try to get into it, and feel good!