Spoke to my priest...

[selfintercession]

OK, some of you may have read my thread a few weeks ago about my struggle with homosexuality. Well I wanted to let you know that I finally spoke with my priest... but after I left, I felt like I hadn't really got the answer that the Catholic Church would really support. He told me that although homosexual acts were a sin because they produce no offspring, as long as I came to confession afterwards, it would be OK. He also said, I probably would eventually give in even if I tried to live celibately instead. He told me that there was no hope for change and that I should just accept who I am. The priest also said he had counselled a lot of people in my situation before and that he had seen a lot of relationships that "functioned even more wonderfully than many heterosexual relationships" etc. and that as long as I tried not to get physical with the person I was in a relationship with, it would all be OK in the end.

Does this sound right to you? I don't know, it's just that I expected something a little less "just accept it"-oriented.... I don't know...

 

[Michelina]

Bad Advice, L&F.

 

[selfintercession]

Bad Advice, L&F.

So what should I do now?

 

[Dream]

He told me that although homosexual acts were a sin because they produce no offspring, as long as I came to confession afterwards, it would be OK.

This would be like saying "Although murder is a sin, it will be acceptable if you come to Confession afterwords."

 

[selfintercession]

This would be like saying "Although murder is a sin, it will be acceptable if you come to Confession afterwords."

Not helpful, I realize that. But what should I do now... see if I can contact an other priest... the archbishop of my diocese maybe and see what he thinks? I really don't know what next steps to take...

 

[Dream]

Not helpful, I realize that. But what should I do now... see if I can contact an other priest... the archbishop of my diocese maybe and see what he thinks? I really don't know what next steps to take...

I'm confused. What exactly are you trying to determine? What kind of advice are you looking for?

 

[selfintercession]

I'm confused. What exactly are you trying to determine? What kind of advice are you looking for?

What I'm saying is that I know what the priest told me wasn't very helpful... it sounded a little off to me at the time too... but who should I peak to now if my priest can't even help me?

 

[plainswolf]

Lost_and_found,

There was an organization I heard of a few years ago that helped men with this particular issue and was suprisingly an incredible success. I'll try to search for it.

Our Lord has given you a particularly difficult cross to bear because there seem to be so few of resources for you to turn to. My prayers are sure with you! We all have to fight temptation everyday. I would recommend reciting the Rosary daily if you can. Our Lady has attached the most incredible promises to this practice! If not, say what you can. Honest prayer is extremely important in all forms of temptation. Just don't give up ever.

Remember St. Paul said toward the end of his life: bonum certamen creative, cursum sonsummavi, fidem servavi. (I've fought the good fight, I've finished the course; I've kept the faith.) We too have to do the same thing.


Also, I COMPLETELY agree with Michelina! That wasn't good advice from the priest at all. Your conscience serves you very well for inherently knowing this didn't seem like good advice. As Fr. O' Connor onces said: "When we die, Our Lord is not going to ask us what our bishop/priest did or did not do." The same can be said in regards to bad advice.

J.M.J.
Mark

 

[RhetorTheo]

What he's telling you is that two men living together are like a man and woman living together in sin. The act is sinful, but the relationship is not. I doubt you would hear it said that a man and woman should be together in a loving relationship, but try (and of course fail) to be abstinent.

 

[selfintercession]

What he's telling you is that two men living together are like a man and woman living together in sin. The act is sinful, but the relationship is not. I doubt you would hear it said that a man and woman should be together in a loving relationship, but try (and of course fail) to be abstinent.

Sorry if I'm misunderstanding... but are you saying that homosexual acts are no worse than a man and his wife having sex without the intent to have children? Again, sorry if I missed your point

 

[PioMagnus]

The organization that could help you is "Courage."

Yes, it is just as sinful to have homosexual intercourse as it is to have unwed intercourse, as it is to have contraceptive intercourse.

 

[PioMagnus]

Here is the address http://couragerc.net

 

[stray bullet]

OK, some of you may have read my thread a few weeks ago about my struggle with homosexuality. Well I wanted to let you know that I finally spoke with my priest... but after I left, I felt like I hadn't really got the answer that the Catholic Church would really support. He told me that although homosexual acts were a sin because they produce no offspring, as long as I came to confession afterwards, it would be OK. He also said, I probably would eventually give in even if I tried to live celibately instead. He told me that there was no hope for change and that I should just accept who I am. The priest also said he had counselled a lot of people in my situation before and that he had seen a lot of relationships that "functioned even more wonderfully than many heterosexual relationships" etc. and that as long as I tried not to get physical with the person I was in a relationship with, it would all be OK.

Does this sound right to you? I don't know, it's just that I expected something a little less "just accept it"-oriented.... I don't know...

I think he was giving you the realistic answer. I imagine it is difficult as a priest to advice someone in a way that may push them away from the Church or lead them into sin.

I would think that having to tell someone they have to live a celibate life is no easy thing to do, because in most cases few people could do that. He was giving you realistic options.

 

[InnerPhyre]

If my priest gave me advice like that, I'd call my bishop. Saying you shouldn't worry about sin because it's inevitable is awful advice. Has he "given in" on his commitment to celibacy?

 

[stray bullet]

If my priest gave me advice like that, I'd call my bishop. Saying you shouldn't worry about sin because it's inevitable is awful advice. Has he "given in" on his commitment to celibacy?

How many gays raised in the Church do you think might have stayed part of it if it wasn't considered a sin, or they weren't gay?

I'd rather a person be a practicing homosexual and Catholic, then leave. I guess he was giving advice with the idea one might leave in mind.

 

[plainswolf]

How many gays raised in the Church do you think might have stayed part of it if it wasn't considered a sin, or they weren't gay?

I'd rather a person be a practicing homosexual and Catholic, then leave. I guess he was giving advice with the idea one might leave in mind.

Can you imagine St. Paul giving this advice to the incestuous Corinthian who he excommunicated for trying to justify what he was practicing.

J.M.J.
Mark

 

[InnerPhyre]

How many gays raised in the Church do you think might have stayed part of it if it wasn't considered a sin, or they weren't gay?

I'd rather a person be a practicing homosexual and Catholic, then leave. I guess he was giving advice with the idea one might leave in mind.

Those who leave will leave. Jesus didn't pull punches because he thought people would leave. Remember when He told the rich man to give up everything and follow Him and the rich man went away sad? We can't pussyfoot around the harsh reality of sin. If I tell a person that sin is not sin, I am guilty of that sin. Whether individuals consider it sinful or not is of absoultely no consequence. That's like telling someone that it's A-ok to have sex with his girlfriend because you think he might not come back to church if you tell him the truth. An awful lie indeed.

 

[stray bullet]

Can you imagine St. Paul giving this advice to the incestuous Corinthian who he excommunicated for trying to justify what he was practicing.

J.M.J.
Mark

There is sadly, quite a bit of difference between incest and homosexual desires. This sin is quite unlike many other sins.

Here, a priest basically tells someone they have to be celibate, by no fault of their own, to be a good Catholic. They say this knowing the person will have to go through all the emotions and desires everyone else does.

 

[InnerPhyre]

There is sadly, quite a bit of difference between incest and homosexual desires. This sin is quite unlike many other sins.

Here, a priest basically tells someone they have to be celibate, by no fault of their own, to be a good Catholic. They say this knowing the person will have to go through all the emotions and desires everyone else does.

It is, nevertheless, something that must be done unless God decides to heal that person of his or her burden. Lying to the person won't change that.

 

[stray bullet]

Those who leave will leave. Jesus didn't pull punches because he thought people would leave. Remember when He told the rich man to give up everything and follow Him and the rich man went away sad? We can't pussyfoot around the harsh reality of sin. If I tell a person that sin is not sin, I am guilty of that sin. Whether individuals consider it sinful or not is of absoultely no consequence. That's like telling someone that it's A-ok to have sex with his girlfriend because you think he might not come back to church if you tell him the truth. An awful lie indeed.

I am not trying to say it is okay to sin to keep someone in the Church. However, in this instance, it seems the priest did not tell him it was okay to sin. He maintained that it was a sin and that he would need to confess it.
I think the priest was trying to give him advice that was based on the way the real world works. The priest was probably aware he knew it was wrong. It would be assumed then, that the person was struggling with the issue, so he gave the advice in the way he did.