- Sep 2, 2021
- 1
- 9
- 37
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Other Religion
- Marital Status
- Engaged
As of late I find myself in what i can only describe as a spiritual impasse.
Long story short I was raised Catholic/Christen till 2009. I walked away from the church. I had too. I didn’t like seeing hypocrites, or hearing them condemn others for things they themselves were guilty of. That’s something I have always viewed as the job of my creator, between a soul and God only. Regardless of what someone might see or think of someone.
Eventually I fell into spiritual paganism. It felt right natural, and resonated well with me. I practiced alone. Didn’t want others twisting my beliefs about, like i had witnessed through the church.
However over the past year or so. Something inside has been stirring. Maybe others feel it too? Like we are all sitting on the edge of a cliff looking over the edge into a deep dark pit. Knowing something really bad is hiding in the dark. While a mob stands behind us screaming join or fall.
I’m not okay with the state of our world. How people treat others, how we are being pushed into something I definitely want zero to do with. And spiritually screaming it’s twisted.
Its just odd how these few out of the blue events keep running around in my head.
My Grandmother sent me a cross necklace early last year. I thanked her politely of course. She begged me to wear it. She’s known my spiritual choice. I said if it made her feel better i would. And i did. Some time passed. And one day visiting my local book store, (stortly before the world went insane) my eye caught a beautiful thickly made bible. Couldn’t shake a dang feeling walked away from it several times only to gravitate back to it. And so I bought it. I left it alone on a bookshelf for a time still in its original box. Almost even forgot about it. Then news stories and current events started bothering me certain words and language being used. I couldn’t shake a feeling. Only god knows why one news story made it click this past February, I ran for the box and started digging. Sadly it had been so long since i read any of the stories I couldn’t pinpoint it. So I’m still digging. I’m Still reading. Started right back at Genesis. Feeling a bit silly i couldn’t even remember most of the stories even in the first book. Slowly it’s filling with highlights of things resonating with me all over again. Ive noticed things. Things i might have just walked past before or gone along with. I find i hesitate. Or wince at. Or speak up about.
Anyway. So this isn’t too much longer, I feel odd. I can’t shake things. But I don’t feel worthy. Partly bc i walked away. However I simply can’t shy away from what i can only describe as a spiritual calling. A inner pull.
Its odd to witness so many people i used to know that were very outspoken Believer’s going along with things. When something in my core is screaming don’t. Stay true. Be honest. Seek and speak the truth.
Long story short I was raised Catholic/Christen till 2009. I walked away from the church. I had too. I didn’t like seeing hypocrites, or hearing them condemn others for things they themselves were guilty of. That’s something I have always viewed as the job of my creator, between a soul and God only. Regardless of what someone might see or think of someone.
Eventually I fell into spiritual paganism. It felt right natural, and resonated well with me. I practiced alone. Didn’t want others twisting my beliefs about, like i had witnessed through the church.
However over the past year or so. Something inside has been stirring. Maybe others feel it too? Like we are all sitting on the edge of a cliff looking over the edge into a deep dark pit. Knowing something really bad is hiding in the dark. While a mob stands behind us screaming join or fall.
I’m not okay with the state of our world. How people treat others, how we are being pushed into something I definitely want zero to do with. And spiritually screaming it’s twisted.
Its just odd how these few out of the blue events keep running around in my head.
My Grandmother sent me a cross necklace early last year. I thanked her politely of course. She begged me to wear it. She’s known my spiritual choice. I said if it made her feel better i would. And i did. Some time passed. And one day visiting my local book store, (stortly before the world went insane) my eye caught a beautiful thickly made bible. Couldn’t shake a dang feeling walked away from it several times only to gravitate back to it. And so I bought it. I left it alone on a bookshelf for a time still in its original box. Almost even forgot about it. Then news stories and current events started bothering me certain words and language being used. I couldn’t shake a feeling. Only god knows why one news story made it click this past February, I ran for the box and started digging. Sadly it had been so long since i read any of the stories I couldn’t pinpoint it. So I’m still digging. I’m Still reading. Started right back at Genesis. Feeling a bit silly i couldn’t even remember most of the stories even in the first book. Slowly it’s filling with highlights of things resonating with me all over again. Ive noticed things. Things i might have just walked past before or gone along with. I find i hesitate. Or wince at. Or speak up about.
Anyway. So this isn’t too much longer, I feel odd. I can’t shake things. But I don’t feel worthy. Partly bc i walked away. However I simply can’t shy away from what i can only describe as a spiritual calling. A inner pull.
Its odd to witness so many people i used to know that were very outspoken Believer’s going along with things. When something in my core is screaming don’t. Stay true. Be honest. Seek and speak the truth.
