Spiritual emptiness...

[agape]

I've been struggling for over a year about my faith in God. I believe that God is strengthening me and rebuilding my character and my purposes in life.

But over the last few years I've had a few struggles that never seem to end. I know that I have to trust him with all my heart but it is so HARD!

Then I realised that the reason why I was such a powerless Christian was because I didn't really know the true meaning of the cross. I've been hearing that Jesus came to forgive our sins, sacrificing himself to give us new life in freedom etc. the same things over and over again, especially in Romans. Some people say that the death of Jesus really touches their hearts and that their hearts ache for the pains that He had to suffer. But this was never the case for me. Though I knew the gospel in my HEAD, I never understood it with my HEART.

I've prayed about this emptiness and recently I realised for the first time that I was a real sinner. Every thought, every action and every facial expression, though it might've seemed normal and even "holy', I was really sinning before God. I identified with the verse in Romans that "nothing good lived in me" Now I know that why Jesus had to come, why we need a Saviour.

But now what? Do I just "believe" that despite this disgusting sins that I commit every day (pride, self-righteousness, judging others, selfishness etc) that Jesus forgives? Do I just live on with all this sins in me which never seem to go away despite my prayers for forgiveness? I feel so powerless and confused... Please help me...I feel as if I'm trapped in this endless darkness...

 

[OLDoMiNiON]

I think that there is a huge difference between knowing about god, anbd knowing god!
Knowing about God: You might know the whole bible off by heart, and be able to argue your way on top of any argument, but if you don't know God, you are spiritually dead, and you need to realise this! otherwise you may forever be struggling with you beliefs!

Knowning God: This is having a relationship with God, and letting *him* work in your life, and more importantly, your heart!

Acts 2:38
Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

I challenge you to dare to know God more! Ask him to come into your life, and live in your heart, you need to get to know the Holy Spirit!! With christ living in you, it's a lot easier to deal with your sin!

Don't try to deal with your sin on your own, it's too hard! Thats why Jesus had to die for us mate! Thats why he had to give his life, so that we might feel forever free from our sins, and clean dispite our constant trip-ups...


Love in christ
hope this helps..
Chris

 

[GodOwnsMe]

I can relate a lil bit I guess !!
What was really cool was when I was down cause of that kinda stuff..how do I live/ deal w/ this ya know, remembering this cool verse in James 1/5 that God will give you the wisdom you need when you ask for it
(and that God uhh 'gives everyone good stuff' & likes to help everyone)
....but still thought hey he prolly gave me wisdom I'm just too uh selfish/bad whatever, then was like hey God, please show me, help me, opened a devotion book at any page & got
psalm 32/8
I want to teach you and tell you, how to live, I advise you, I never loose sight of you.
God doesn't give up on you, he forgives you when you sin & will show you how to live w/ him, follow him and help you.
God Loves you !!!!!!

 

[OracleX]

It can be tough to connect the heart and brain. You 'know' something and even to 'believe' something but not 'feel' it in your heart is a tough thing.

Read you Bible every day, pray every day and keep going to church - one that has good sound and strong teaching.

When we obey and are faithful to Him, He will shows Himself to us in wonderful ways.

 

[Blessed-one]

agape:

Some people say that the death of Jesus really touches their hearts and that their hearts ache for the pains that He had to suffer. But this was never the case for me.

same here.... it had never quite touched me as it should be, i even repeated to myself that Jesus's death was a historical fact to convince my unbelief. It made me feel so unworthy and silly. The death on the cross is something that everybody accepts, yet deep in my heart, i refused it but i tried hard to believe.
But thanks to God, He has never left me behind and has continued to help me in my walk with Him. Patience and time will work things out in the end.

But now what? Do I just "believe" that despite this disgusting sins that I commit every day (pride, self-righteousness, judging others, selfishness etc) that Jesus forgives? Do I just live on with all this sins in me which never seem to go away despite my prayers for forgiveness?

why not? that's what grace is all about, and you're repenting before Him right? there's a big difference between acknowledging your sins, admitting them, asking for forgiveness and repenting, AND being unaware of the sins. That means the Holy Spirit is guiding you.
Satan loves to attack us with whatever weakness he can grab. Sometimes, we cannot base on our feelings to be certain of things. The fact that God told us so in the bible is enough assurance.

as OLDoMiNiON said:

Don't try to deal with your sin on your own, it's too hard! Thats why Jesus had to die for us mate!

let your sins go, for that is the whole purpose of Jesus's death. He came to take away our sins so we can live new lives, we can't defeat that purpose now can we? *hugs*

Ephesians 1:7 "In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins."

Isaiah 41:10 "so do not fear, for i am with you; do not be dismayed for i am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; i will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

the key to the solution is not to give up! no matter how many times you stumble across these sins of yours, don't give up on God and yourself. God is willing to help, then you should be willing to let Him wipe you clean and start again too.

praying for you.

 

[agape]

Thank you for your wonderful replies! ^^
My friend kept recommending this site, but I never really found the time to read the posts or even post one of my own. But it's so great that people from all over world can offer encouragement and advice to one another.

SO glad that there is an internet site where I can come in any time and pour my heart out and soon find others caring about me...

Well, "knowing about God and knowing God" really challenged me. I realised that I was living exactly like a Pharisee... Sure, I knew alot about the bible but not enough about God. I will now challenge myself to get to know Him better every day.

I'm so grateful that I'm not alone on this journey, and thank you sooooo much for your support~

Love in Christ,
Anna

 

[cynjo59]

I grew up knowing about God and knowing that I should have a personal relationship with Him and I even believed I was saved at one time. I married, drifted away from the church and stayed away for over 20 years. And then I went to the church where I am now. There I learned the difference between knowing about God and having a genuine personal relationship with Him. It was like going from two dimensional to three dimensional! The book of Acts will help you, I think. Pray that God will reveal Himself through the Holy Spirit that dwells within you .